Underneath it All
by uninhibited
Summary: Year 6 - Hermione's Diary : New friends and old; homework and classes; neglect and acceptance; secrets and gossip. Delve deep into Hermione's mind and see what goes on beneath that head of bushy hair.
1. Chapter 1

**Underneath it All**

**A/N** : New story, whoo! Lolz. Anyways, let me tell you about this story first. It's all about Hermione and her thoughts, problems, and just her life. Pretty much I'm going to be writing her diary. The "story" takes place in 6th year, just after OoTP – I'm not sure yet if there will be spoilers, but I'm guessing there will. I have no idea where this story is going, so just bear with me for a few chapters before I get some general direction. And don't forget to leave me a review, I love them – they're very helpful and they let me know I'm doing something right, lolz.

**DISCLAIMER** : All characters and places are brought to you by JK Rowling – not me. 

**_Now_**_ we begin... _

~*!*~

_August 31st, _

_I've been thinking about the past few years – a lot has happened. I mean, for one things, I found out I was a witch! But, I mean more recently… I haven't really talked to Harry over the summer. Sure we've sent occasional owls and everything, but, nothing really… I don't know how to say it really. I suppose it's because of what happened before school ended. The whole incident at the Department of Mysteries is still fresh in my mind, and I can't begin to imagine what it must be like for Harry! He's already lost so many people close to him… _

_On the bright side, I passed my OWLs! I got all O's except for one E in Astronomy… It's all because of that foul Umbridge woman and her little friends… How dare they attack Hagrid and McGonnagall like that! The nerve of them! It just put me off for the rest of the examination… I'm just so disappointed, I was so close to all O's… _

_And tomorrow school begins! I can't wait to see everybody again… I have a bad feeling about this year though… Voldemort's return has been announced, and I just know that the war will be soon… Every day brings us nearer to it. I was so scared over the summer. I don't know what I would do if something had happened to my parents or friends!_

_I do hope that the NEWT classes will be interesting enough. Don't get me wrong, the regular classes I took were interesting, but, they were a tad easy - for me at least - which is why I can't wait until our NEWT classes begin! Finally, a challenge!  _

_Well, I'd better get to sleep soon then, I'm getting tired, and I want to be wide away tomorrow!_

_September 1st,_

_Oh, what a day! It feels so good to be back at Hogwarts. Being home is wonderful and everything since I get to see my parents, but, Hogwarts feels like more of a home to me since I'm so close to everyone… _

_I don't know why, but everyone seems to be different this year! _

_Ron… Oh, Ron. It's great to have him as a friend, but it sure would be nice to be seen as more than some annoying know-it-all bookworm. I fell asleep on the train ride here, so Ron had to carry me to the carriage and then into Hogwarts. I was so embarrassed when I woke up! Everyone was looking at me… Although, it was quite nice to be held in his arms…_

_And Harry… He's no longer a child. But then again, I don't think he ever truly was a child. He had to grow up so fast, and he's dealt so much with in his life. But now, his eyes don't have that playful glint anymore. He's much more subdued and calm. He didn't talk for most of the train ride – he just sat there while Ron kept talking. I just wish I could help him somehow… I wish I could take away the pain. He hides so many things inside himself, it's not good for him! I wish he would let me in on some of it… I could help…_

_Then there's Ginny – my best female friend, Ginny. She's grown quite a bit! She's no longer a little girl anymore. She's much taller, and I couldn't help but notice that she's more attractive. In fact, I caught some of the boys staring at her. I can't help but envy her. She doesn't even care that boys notice her, she's so lucky like that. The incident at the Department of Mysteries made her grow up too. _

_I think it made us all grow up. We all realize now just what we're facing. It's going to be a difficult battle to fight, but I know that we can do it, at least, I hope we can…_

_Which reminds me, is it just me, or has Malfoy changed as well? I've never been close to him, quite the contrary actually. But he seems much more different now. I thought that it might have something to do with his father being sent to Azkaban, but, I heard that he was released since the only proof was our word… And Lucious Malfoy is a very powerful man… _

_Anyways. Enough about Malfoy. I don't have time to ponder his life. Classes start tomorrow, and I don't want to miss a thing! _

_I doubt that I'm going to get much sleep tonight though. Lavender and Parvati keep giggling and chattering loudly – they want me to join them! Ooh, it would be quite nice to be friends with them… After all, we've been roommates for 5 years so far, and, much as I love the company of Harry and Ron, some more female friends would be nice… Even if it's Lavender and Parvati._

_September 2nd,_

_Classes began today!! We didn't start anything new though. I was a bit disappointed at that. Each professor just told us of the importance of our last 2 years at Hogwarts, and that we would have to work harder now that our NEWT classes were beginning. _

_We have a new Defence Against the Dark Arts professor again. I'm not one to believe in superstitions, but I do think that the position is jinxed! This year we have Professor Parlink. He reminds me a bit of Dumbledore actually. Professor Parlink has that same twinkle in his eye like Dumbledore. He told us that we would be working harder than ever, and that most lessons would be practical because there was no point in just copying notes. Harry and Ron like him too – although, I think it's because they think they won't be doing as much work._

_Much as I try not to care, I can't help but think about Malfoy. I really don't know what it is… But he has definitely changed. He didn't say one word to me, Harry, or Ron! Not even one rude remark about me being a mudblood, or Ron being poor, or anything! Not even when Ron tried to provoke him either! He just looked at us and walked away. There was a look in his eyes that I couldn't quite read… It wasn't anger or sadness, but, it was… _

_After classes Ron and Harry went off to play Quidditch. Harry's been made Quidditch Captain this year, and only he and Ron are left from last year's team. I hope they find a good team and win the Quidditch Cup again. _

_Since they were off playing Quidditch, I joined Parvati and Lavender for a walk around the grounds. We talked until dinnertime. They're really not as bad as I thought. They don't just care about how they look, but they really do care and notice the world around them. I mean, sure they kept flirting with any boy them came up to us, but, they didn't just talk about boys and make-up. It's nice to have someone to talk to about things other than Quidditch or Voldemort…_

_I joined them for dinner as well. Ron and Harry didn't seem to notice, not like I thought they would. Although, it would have been nice… They didn't seem to miss me at all. Lavender and Parvati asked me what was wrong when I kept glancing at them… After I told them, they kept shooting dirty looks at Ron and Harry. They had no idea why they kept getting them. _

_After dinner when everyone went back to their Common Rooms, Harry and Ron came up to me. They were wondering why Lavender and Parvati kept shooting them dirty looks. They thought I would know since I had been sitting with them. So they finally noticed me now… Now that they needed help. Honestly. I well near told them why, but I help back my tongue. _

_Ron looked so cute standing there all clueless, wondering what he had done…_

_And then Harry. Harry knew that I knew. He just didn't know what I knew. He asked me afterwards before I went up to my dormitory, but I said I didn't know. He just looked at me and let me be. I hate hiding things from Harry! It's not his fault that he's got lots of things on his mind right now, but, I can't help but feel a little neglected… _

_At least I have Lavender and Parvati. It's strange, really. I mean, we've only just really started talking, and yet, it feels like we've been friends for ages. It's quite nice, actually. We stayed up late talking all night. _

_Well, we didn't just talk. They wanted to try out some make up on me… They said I looked amazing with it on; I suppose I did look better… And I did like how they managed to make my hair less bushy. I don't know what they did, but you can actually see the curls that were hid by the bushiness. I think that I'm going to leave it like that… The bushiness is one thing I can do without._

_It was well past midnight before we went to sleep. I just hope it doesn't affect me too much during lessons…_

_September 3rd,_

_Well, I guess I was wrong. I knew I should have got more sleep. We had practical lessons all day. I managed to do them all first, but, I had more trouble than usual. I think it might have something to do with my lack of sleep, but, I doubt that. And the material we covered was simple enough, so, it can't be that it's too difficult… _

_I don't know how Lavender and Parvati manage to look like they've had hours of sleep, but I wish I had their secret. I was yawning all day, and I had bags under my eyes… Ron asked me if I had stayed up late reading – it's like all he thinks I do is read! Is it that hard to think that I was talking all night long?!_

_He didn't notice my hair either, neither did Harry. After being friends with me for 5 years, you'd think that they would notice when I went from frizzy bushy hair, so soft and curly! It's not like it was a slight difference. And other people noticed! Ginny said it looked lovely, and even Neville said that he liked it! And you know that it's bad when MALFOY notices and your best friends don't! He looked a bit startled during Potions when I first saw him – but only for a moment. He went back to normal very fast… And, I don't know whether he smirked or smiled at me, but I have this feeling that he was smiling… But who can tell with Malfoy?_

_We didn't get any homework tonight, so, after classes everyone went outside once more. Why waste such lovely weather? Lavender and Parvati went off with Seamus and Dean, while Ron and Harry kept talking about Quidditch. I couldn't find Ginny anywhere, so I just brought out a book, found a nice tree, and started to read. _

_I could swear that Malfoy was watching me! Almost every time I looked up, I saw him glancing over at me from his group of friends by the lake. Whenever he saw me looking up, though, he would just turn his head quickly. It was the strangest thing… Although, I may be imagining things._

_I promised myself that I wouldn't stay up so late tonight with Lavender and Parvati. It wasn't that difficult tonight, since they kept going on about what a wonderful afternoon they had had with Seamus and Dean. I just drifted off to sleep - I wonder if they noticed…_

~*!*~


	2. Chapter 2

**Underneath it All**

**A/N** : Here's another chapter for y'all! I hope you enjoy it too. =) I'm really starting to like this story. It just feels so real to me. All of my other stories (with the exception of Second Thoughts, which is sort of connected to this in a strange way I just noticed…) are humor and parody. They're nice to write, but I like this one better, lolz. So, don't forget to leave a review! All I ask for, are 5 reviews, and I'll post the next chapter. More would be nice, but, hey, beggars can't be choosers, lolz.

**DISCLAIMER** : All characters and places are brought to you by JK Rowling – not me. 

**Reviews-**

**            Thanks…**

                             BBLLPMLover (my first reviewer!)

                                    Amandaliini

                                    Jenie (Yup, O's -Outstanding- are the highest score you can get. It's in OoTP somewhere… I can find it if you really want me to, lolz.)

                                    counter() (I have no idea what you mean by counting 14 romances on that one page and asking if it were one of many. But if you don't like it, don't read it or give me reviews that don't make sense. =P)

                                    Physotic()

**Now** we begin... 

September 4th,

Well, it seems Lavender and Parvati DID notice my early sleep last night. I'm quite surprised actually. Although, it WAS nice to be missed…

I asked Lavender to do whatever she did to my hair again and she did. She said it was about time I got rid of that frizz and that my new look looks nice on me. She suggested straightening the curls and making it straight… Perhaps some other time – I'm still getting used to this!

Lavender also managed to persuade me to put on some make-up – not too much though. It was only some clear lip gloss, a very light eye shadow and some mascara. She kept wanting to put on more, but, I don't want to look like a clown or anything… Parvati said I looked nice with it on too.

I swear, boys can be so dense sometimes! Or at least Ron can! At least HARRY noticed my new look today. He said that he loved the hair and make-up but that he also said I looked fine before. I suppose he's just saying that to make up for yesterday. Ron, however, just ran past me for the Great Hall shouting a hello! 

We had double Potions today with the Slytherins. Honestly, it's always with them! We made a Sleeping Draught this class. It was fairly simple… Poor Neville though! The potion was supposed to be a clear blue; his was bright red! Snape didn't help much either, but then again, it's not like he was expected to.

I could swear that Malfoy kept shooting looks at me during class! I have almost all of my classes with him, and in each class I caught him glancing at me at least twice! It's quite awkward, really, and I wish I knew why… At first I thought it was pure coincidence or that I was imagining things, but I'm sure I'm not!

But I'm really getting worried now. Yesterday, I was having trouble with casting spells; I just thought it was from lack of sleep. But, today in Charms we were simply practicing 'Reparo,' and I couldn't do it! Well, I could, but it took me much longer than usual. I've always done that spell for Harry's glasses, yet I couldn't do it for the longest while. Harry got it before me and he's only done it several times. I wonder, if there something wrong with me or with my wand? I practiced a few other basic spells we learned back in first year, and I had trouble with those as well! I wish I knew what was happening…

September 5th,

My wand has to be malfunctioning! I had trouble again today! It's too late to get a new one though, and mum and daddy can't go get it for me. Oh, what am I going to do?! I need a new wand if I want to keep up with my lessons… I suppose I could talk to Dumbledore, he might let me to go Diagon Alley. But, he's already worried about so much – Voldemort may attack any minute!

I let Lavender straighten my curls for today; she kept on asking to do it. Besides, it's not like it's hurting anyone. And I let her put on a TOUCH more make-up on me than yesterday. I don't know what she did, but I couldn't believe that that was my reflection in the mirror. 

Lavender and Parvati spent most of the day in the North Tower with Professor Trelawny, so, I just spent the afternoon on the grounds with Ron and Harry. It honestly feels like we're growing apart most of the time. But then when we're together, it seems as if we're just picking up from where we left off. 

Honestly though, Ron is the thickest person! When he first noticed I was a girl right before the Yule Ball back in Fourth Year, I thought that was the lowest he could go. Though I was excited that he had asked me, I just couldn't believe under what circumstances it happened! Ginny teased me most dreadfully after that.

Then, today, Ron goes and asks the stupidest question! We were just chatting about our Defense Against the Dark Arts class – one of the only ones that we have together – and he goes and… ARGH!! "There's something different about you Hermione. Did you grow taller over the summer?" I felt like Avada Kedavra-ing him on the spot! Lucky Harry was there to stop me. And Ron STILL doesn't know what he did! I just stormed off to the Library.

It was the strangest thing though. I burst into the Library and headed for the far back of it; there's a large window sill there that I like to sit on. When the time is right, and the sun is setting or rising, the light beams down and lights it up. I just love to curl up ad read there. (A/N : I stole this part from my other story – Second Thoughts – where it's Draco at his house that does this. Hee hee, lolz.) It's my escape from everything, really. Whenever Ron decides to be an insufferable part, or he and Harry decide to ignore me, I just go there. 

Although, when I was heading to it, I saw Malfoy, of all people, MALFOY, leaving there! I didn't notice him until I bumped into him. We both fell to the floor and hit our heads. I was going to apologize, but he just looked at me – a bit surprised at my new look, I suppose – and then rushed past me. It was as if he was embarrassed to be seen by me. Then there's also the fact that he didn't say a word to me; not even to call me a mudblood or to say some sarcastic remark. I didn't get much reading done; I have so much on my mind!

I stayed up so late with Lavender and Parvati! Right now, they're sound asleep in their beds. It's nearly 3 in the morning! But I can't sleep. We talked all night long about Ron and Harry. That is to say, I talked all night long about Ron and Harry while they listened and told me what prats they were. It was quite nice to be able to vent my feelings about them to someone instead of just heading for a good book… 

I'm really quite tired now, and I should get getting some more sleep tonight. My wand may be malfunctioning, but I still need to be awake. I have Arithmancy, Runes, Herbology, and History of Magic tomorrow! Luckily I don't need my wand. 

September 6th,

After all of my classes were over, I went straight to Dumbledore's office. Unfortunately, he wasn't there. I suppose he had some business for the Order to deal with. So, I just went to Professor McGonnagal. 

I don't know what I would do without Professor McGonnagal. She's been such a help to me over the years. She's been like my mother at Hogwarts; and it's no secret that I'm her favourite – everyone says so. I always go to her if I have a problem with schoolwork or a question. 

When I told her, she asked me to do some spells to show her what I meant. At first, I thought she wouldn't do anything about it; she said all I needed was a new wand – which I already knew! I wish she had been able to tell me that I could be able to get it soon, but, all she said was that I would have to put up with it until the weekend oh Halloween; which was when the first Hogsmeade weekend would be. 

I just know that I can't last until Halloween. That's nearly two months away! So, I'm going to go to Hogsmeade myself. I'll just have to sneak out, I suppose. I'm going to work on arrangements tomorrow. We finally got some homework tonight. We have to write 1 roll of parchment on the Goblin Rebellion of 1247 and its causes. Then there were the usual Runes translations and Arithmancy homework. 

I decided to get as much of that work done as possible, so I headed straight for the Library again. It was deserted except for a few other students; including Malfoy. He was watching me again! I can't say I'm not surprised, after all, I should be used to it by now. But, I keep thinking that he's planning something. Why else would he keep watching me? What is it that I have that he doesn't? I wish I knew… I did manage to finish up all of my homework though.

I'm so tired right now. I didn't say good-night to anybody and I just went upstairs to get ready…


	3. Chapter 3

**Underneath it All  
**  
**A/N :** So, once again, I present you with another chapter. =) You know the drill, after I get 5 reviews, you get your chapter, lolz. Oh, and I'm really sorry about how the second chapter uploaded the first time… I have no idea what went wrong… Sorry!! =( Anyways.    
  
**DISCLAIMER** : All characters and places are brought to you by JK Rowling - not me.  
  
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**qazwsx****()******

**BBLLPMLover******

**laura****()******

**Amandaliini****(****)**  
  
**_Now we begin..._**

_September 7th,_

_The weekend began! I have all of today and tomorrow to do as I please since we have no homework. It's quite strange. I always finish my homework ahead of time, but, to have none to do at all… I suppose I can always get a book from the Library. But, I may as well enjoy the free time and lovely weather while I can._

_Ah, but I've hatched a plan! If anyone found out, I would be sure to get expelled! Now, since I have the day off tomorrow as well, seeing as how it's Sunday, I'm going to sneak into Hogsmeade using that secret passage we found out from the Marauder's Map. _

_Then, I'll use the fireplace and some Floo Powder to Floo over to Diagon Alley. Either to the Leakey Cauldron or to Gringotts – I'm not sure which one yet. Then, I'll go to Ollivander's and get myself a wand! There is one wand shop in Hogsmeade, but, I just don't think I'll find the right wand there._

_The only problem will be to get there unseen by anyone. Using Harry's Invisibility Cloak is out of the question since Harry and Ron will want to tag along, and then I'm sure to be found! So, I took out some books on Invisibility and Potions – and I've found the perfect potion! It's not too difficult to make, and it will be done by tomorrow._

_All I have to do is drink it and I'll be invisible for half an hour. It should be enough time to sneak out and get to Diagon Alley. I'm going to brew another batch to bring with me just incase I have need of it while at Diagon Alley… I do hope I won't need it._

_What a morning though! I spent it all with Shania Burlest – she's a Ravenclaw from my Arithmancy class. We had the most fun; she has the most outrageous ideas. First, we went to the __South__Tower__ and then climbed out onto the roof! I have no idea how we did it, but we managed. _

_We just talked on the roof about everything really. She's quite a character! Then, around __noon__, the sun was high and bright. It really was quite hot. So she suggested we jump into the lake; after all, it was right under us. Without hesitation, she took of her cloak and jumped in – skirt and blouse! I have no idea what possessed me, but I followed her!_

_It's amazing we weren't caught by anyone. Although, I got the feeling that someone was watching us the whole time. Come to think of it, I saw a flash of white-blonde hair while I was jumping down. It was breathtaking! The fall was so large, but it was so fast it past by in mere seconds. And the water was so cool and refreshing… _

_We didn't swim for long though. Snape was coming by and asked us what we were doing in the lake with our uniforms. He took off 10 points apiece! I know that he's on our side, but he really is quite a bother sometimes… I would never be able to admit it to Ron and Harry though – they'd constantly tell me that they were right and I was wrong. _

_After lunch, I spent the majority of the afternoon with Ginny. It feels like I haven't spent time with her in ages! We had so much to catch up on. She's saying Perry Kormen now; he's a 5th year Hufflepuff from her Herbology class. I can't remember him though, although, his name does strike a bell… _

_Harry's holding Quidditch try-outs tomorrow! What luck – everyone will be busy with those and they won't notice if I sneak out… At least, I hope so. Ginny's trying out for a spot as a Chaser. I do hope she makes it._

_Oh, but pudding was simply delicious! Oh, the meal was scrumptious as well. But the pudding was simply heavenly! We had ice cream sundaes! I've no idea why though – we've never had them here before. It was two scoops of vanilla ice cream – the best ice cream, ever! – topped with chocolate fudge and several nuts. And then, at the top was a cherry. A real cherry, mind you, not those cheap store-bought kinds mum and daddy buy all the time._

_After dinner, everyone went to the Common Room. It was like a party! It really was quite fun though. The party lasted a bit too long for my liking though. Professor McGonnagal came in at 1 in the morning to tell us to go to bed, but, the party didn't end until 4! Naturally, I went to bed when she said so – very few people did though. _

_I can't get to sleep though. There's still several people left over partying, but, it's not that… It's Malfoy! He's really acting odd lately. First of all, he keeps watching me. And then there's the fact that he never has any snide remarks anymore. I really wonder what happened to him… Do you think it could be an act? Maybe he's trying to learn more about me so that he can give information to Voldemort? But, why would he need any information about ME? It's Harry that he wants…_

_Lavender and Parvati are coming up now, they want to talk about their latest boy-toys. Honestly. You'd think they could talk about something a bit more… Important? Ah well, they can be wonderful friends, so, I'll just bear with them during these times._

_I'm hoping to brew the potion once they fall asleep…_

**~*~**

_September 8th,_

_I did it! I made the potion! It took well long though… I honestly thought it would take a lot less. But that's beyond the point. _

_After breakfast, I told everyone that I was going to the Library and to not disturb me since I was reading for and assignment – a small white lie, but, it's necessary. No one seemed to care very much; after all, I do that almost all the time anyways… _

_So, I hurried up to my dormitory and took the potion. I didn't think it wise to keep it in a vial as that could easily break, and would take longer to take. But it was too late to do anything about that now, and I didn't want to put a spell on it since that might ruin the potion._

_I managed to sneak out to Hogsmeade and Floo over to Diagon Alley easily enough. But, at Ollivander's… Well, some interesting things happened…_

_Ollivander__ remembered me right away. Thank goodness he didn't ask any questions or anything! I told him what had been happening and he had a thoughtful look on his face for a few moments before he started handing me wands. None of them did ANYTHING for me. Finally, after about half an hour, he handed me a box._

_Now, this was no ordinary box – and it was no ordinary wand! The box itself was a lovely maple wood. Inside, the wand was nestled on a velvet cushion. The wand was polished to perfection; it looked like it had never been touched. It seemed a tad silly to go to all that trouble…_

_When Ollivander handed me the wand, his hands were trembling, and he looked a tad scared; as if he wasn't sure he was making the right decision. Nevertheless, I took the wand, and waved it. It was magnificently eerie… Out of the wand, came a burst of black and white sparkles. They were no ordinary sparkled though. I don't know what they were, I wish I had been able to take a closer look. All I know, is that they weren't just sparkles. And those particular colours too – black and white – it was symbolic in a way, I'm sure of it._

_Ollivander__ was positively shaking! His brow was covered in sweat, and he looked as though he had seen a ghost; although, that would hardly make him react like that – muggle saying, actually. He wouldn't tell me anything though! When I was leaving the store, he looked at me, and I heard him muttering under his breath. Something along the lines of "Powerful… Good or evil… Only time will tell…" I'm not sure exactly._

_As I was heading back to Gringotts, I saw that Flourish and Blotts; the best book shop ever, had the latest version of "Hogwarts, a History." Well, I had some money left over, so, naturally, I bought it._

_It was the most peculiar thing though. In the store, I saw Malfoy again! Only, not Draco Malfoy, Lucious Malfoy! I think he recognized me… He was coming right for me with this look in his eyes, so I turned the corner and gulped down the potion just in time! My heart was beating a mile a minute and I could swear that he heard it because he looked right at me before turning away and leaving!_

_All I knew, was that I had to get out of there as fast as I could. I ran to Gringotts and to the fireplace and Flooed to Hogsmeade as fast as I could. I knew that I had to hurry up and get to the Library. If he was sure it was me, he might tell Dumbledore!_

_So, here I am now, in the Library. Nothing has happened yet, but, you never know… The day's almost over though. Then again, tomorrow is another day…_


	4. Chapter 4

**Underneath it All**  
  
**A/N :** Here's your fourth chapter. =) Don't forget, 5 reviews and you get another chapter. I wrote a whole bunch of them, so, I'm just waiting for you guys, lolz. I really like how the story is going. And I've decided to make it all of Hermione's Sixth year. So, this series will go on for quite some time. It's about 3 entries per chapter, although, I may make it more. And Christmas break will be one entry as will Easter break. There's really no point in writing those in each day, but, you never know, there's still quite some time until then, lolz. So, enjoy the chapter!    
  
**DISCLAIMER** : All characters and places are brought to you by JK Rowling - not me.  
  
Reviews-  
  
_Thanks:_

**Amandaliini******

**hp/**charmed obsesed** - Malfoy wasn't out of school, his father, Lucious Malfoy was. "Only, not Draco Malfoy, Lucious Malfoy!" And about making Hermione thick. She's not thick in the story. Just because she doesn't think that Draco likes her, doesn't make her thick. Besides, what makes you so sure he does? ; )**

  
  
**_Now we begin..._**

_September 9th,_

_Classes today! Thank goodness I had my new wand. It looks quite different from my old one though. Ollivander never told me what it was made of though… Funny, he always says what each wand is made of. Ah well, I'm sure it isn't important._

_We did quite a bit of practical work today. In Defense Against the Dark Arts, we learned about the Patronus Charm – although everyone from the DA hardly needed that lesson since we learned about that last year from Harry! Professor Parlink was quite shocked when all of us mastered the Patronus Charm so fast. _

_The rest of the day went quite well. Harry said that he would post the new Quidditch team sometime during the week; I'm crossing my fingers for Ginny._

_Of course, Ron and Harry wanted to play Quidditch instead of starting their essays. How they got through the first 5 years, I've no clue! But Ron shirked on Prefect duties! I had to cover for him when Professor McGonagall asked where he was. Honestly. He needs to get his priorities straight! _

_Professor McGonagall said that since he wasn't there, I may as well patrol with… MALFOY! It was quite an awkward experience, indeed. We didn't say a word except for 'hello' and 'good night.' Except for when we caught one of the younger Slytherins sneaking back to the Common Room from one of the empty classrooms… _

_It was quite funny actually. Malfoy was acting completely oblivious to what the boy was doing, and was asking him all sorts of questions. The poor boy. It was hilarious though. As soon and the boy had turned the corner, I burst into laughter. But then Malfoy looked at me strangely before… Oh, get this, diary, he smiled! Draco Malfoy actually smiled! I must say, he looked quite…_

_AH!!! I cannot believe I just wrote that… No!! But, then again… NO! He can't be that bad, can he…?_

**~*~**

_September 10th,_

_Oh, what a lovely day! _

_Last week, we had all practical lessons. But now we're finally getting homework! Oh, I'm so excited! I finally feel like I'm back home now! We have so many essays to write… And I love to write essays! Ron thinks I'm mad for liking homework. But, what's not to like? It takes up time and it teaches you so many things! Or, at least it WOULD if you did it yourself. _

_We had Potions – always a fun lesson. We copied down notes and then answered questions from our text book. We have to write 2 rolls of parchment on the elements and their purposes in the Memoria Potion – we're going to be brewing them in our next class. _

_Malfoy kept looking at me again! I'm growing used to it now… I keep wondering why he's doing it… It's still a tad awkward. I swear I caught him smiling again! I turned around for what had to me the hundredth time and I swear he gave me a slight smile. But then again, it could have been a smirk…_

_After potions we had Care of Magical Creatures. For once, Hagrid gave us a decent lesson. "The Streeler is a giant snail that changes colour on an hourly basis and deposits behind it a trail so venomous that it shrivels and burns all vegetation over which it passes." They really are quite interesting. We had a homework assignment on them as well. Quite a bit of homework – I was beginning to wonder what happened to Hogwarts!_

_Dinner… What a memorable dinner THAT was! No one could have expected that to happen… Let me start at the beginning…_

_So, we were all eating dinner, chatting and having fun. Then, all of a sudden, someone started calling for silence. Naturally, everyone stopped talking and started craning their necks to see who it was and what they wanted. _

_It was as if they were invisible or something. A giant bowl of soup was pushed by this… Thing, and it fell onto Luna! She didn't seem to care, or even notice for that matter. And then, a handful of mashed potatoes flew through the air, and hit Seamus square in the face!_

_Needless to say, one thing led to another, and an all out food fight started! Food was being flung from every direction! People were covered in our dinner, and no one cared. They just through it at anyone! It really was quite messy though. I'm surprised Dumbledore or McGonagall didn't do anything. I swear I saw Dumbledore throw something at McGonagall, who threw something back at him!_

_Everyone was having such fun – no one cared about the mess, the food, or anything! Even the sticklers for the rules were into the food fight. I don't know how long it lasted, but I suppose it stopped once all of the food had run out. Of course, we could have easily conjured more, but, that would have taken the fun of it._

_So, little by little, everyone started leaving for their Common Rooms so that they could get cleaned up. Almost everyone had left soon. Me and Ginny were the only Gryffindors left apart from a few First Years who were coming out from under the table._

_After they had left, we thought we were alone. But then I felt something hit the back of my head! I turned around, and saw Malfoy leaving the Great Hall. He was the only one in sight, and he was trying to hide a smirk. So, I did all I could do. I pelted him with grapes! Ginny noticed and joined in. Malfoy just stood there for a moment – in shock I suppose – before dashing for the Slytherin table. _

_We had our own little food fight with the food we could find. I don't think Ginny knew who it was – we were barely recognizable since we were covered in food. It was quite strange, actually. I never thought that I could have fun with Malfoy. He just didn't seem like the type. But we were all letting loose and having fun. _

_The food fight didn't last long though. Snape came marching in and started telling us of. Thank goodness we were covered in food or else he would have docked points! The three of us just shuffled out of the Great Hall and went our separate ways._

_Back at the Common Room, everyone was still covered – no one had gone to clean themselves up. Ginny joined a group of her friends while I headed for the showers. I came back 10 minutes later, and the Common Room was considerably emptier. Only the older students were left since the younger ones were tired and wanted to clean up._

_We all just made one big group and sat around the fire chatting. It would have been perfect if we had had hot chocolate as well. It didn't seem to matter that well all weren't friends; we just sat there talking to each other. It was quite fun… It would be nice if we did that more often too._

_We didn't stay like that long though. One by one, people started going upstairs to clean themselves up and get ready for bed. Soon, it was only Harry, Ron, and I. We snuggled up together on the couch and kept talking. That was nice… Ron really is quite comfortable. _

_I suppose Harry noticed how much I liked being near Ron, so he decided to turn it for the night. It was a bit awkward at first. I don't think that Ron and I have ever spent time alone – apart from Prefect duties, but those hardly count._

_Nothing was really different though. We were just two friends sitting together and chatting. Although, perhaps, someday… _

**~*~**

_September 11th,_

_Wednesday: the middle of the week. It's such an ordinary day - well, as ordinary as it gets at Hogwarts. We had classes, meals, and breaks; nothing different. I simply loathe Wednesdays. They're just so… Predictable! Now, don't get me wrong, I don't want to go around living a life where I never know what's going to happen. But, a little bit of newness would be nice on Wednesdays – to spice them up a bit, if you know what I mean._

_Harry posted the new Quidditch Team today though. Ginny made Chaser! She was simply ecstatic; she really deserved that position. Harry's obviously the Seeker; and Ron's obviously the Keeper. The two other Chaser's are a pair of 4th year girls: Henrietta Bornet and Marina Shorbest. Then there's a pair of brothers as the Beaters: Jack and Tom Morbentor. I've no idea how to team will do, but Harry's pretty confident, so, I hope for his sake that they do well. _

_Harry wanted to start Quidditch practice right away, but it started to rain in the middle of classes. It's still going on, actually. So, he tried to hold a meeting in the Common Room… Needless to say, it didn't work out since there were so many distractions. _

_I spent most of the evening in the Library: doing homework and reading. It's so peaceful there since hardly anyone ever spends time there – unless it's to take out a book, and then they're only there for 5 minutes or so. I don't mind though, I like the Library better when I'm all alone in it._

_I just couldn't seem to keep my eyes open all day. I suppose it' just a boring day… I never thought I would say that, ever. I've always wanted to live my life so that I could honestly say I had never been bored. I got that philosophy from my father. He always has some interesting story to share about how he beat boredom. Why, one day when he and his brother were sick, they made 100 little men and little horses out of clay. After that, they smashed them together in a little war!_ (A/N : True story! My dad told me it, lolz.) 

_Well, I suppose I should turn in now… If I don't, I'm sure that I'll fall asleep here…_

**~*~**

_September 12th,_

_As usual, classes went on. I'm finally used to being here again. Well, I already was before, it's just that now… Now I KNOW… This is home._

_After classes, the rain had turned to a slight drizzle, so, Harry decided to hold a Quidditch practice. It wouldn't be an official one; just a get to know you and just to see how everyone played. Now, I don't know a thing about Quidditch, but, what I DO know, is that this team needs work…_

_I don't mean to be rude, and I know that I'm one to talk about being a good Quidditch player… But, Harry really does have his work cut out for him. I'm sure that each player was good separate, but, they just don't seem to work very well together… Although, I suppose it's only got to do with the fact that they've never played…_

_After the practice, Harry came out of the changing rooms and he and Ron started talking about the new team. I was sort of pushed to the side… Both metaphorically and literally… _

_Luckily the day was almost over, so I just ran up my dormitory to read… And now I'm here. I wonder if they noticed…_

**~*~**

A/N : Memoria Potion – Memoria is Latin for memory. The potion is used to remember something. I just made it up for lack of better potion.

Streeler – The quote and creature comes directly from 'Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them.' I just needed a creature to mention.


	5. Chapter 5

**Underneath it All**  
  
**A/N** : I better write chapters faster! You guys just keep reviewing!! Thanks so much everyone, I really appreciate it! And, I hope you don't mind if I don't post right after I get 5 reviews like I am now, but I want this story to be a success and I want the chapters to be really good for you guys. But don't worry, it won't be too long a wait. =) 

Sorry for the late update, but I wasn't on all day, and I just typed it up now… Enjoy!   
  
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**_Now we begin...  
  
  
_**

_September 13th,_

_Well, what do you know, it's Friday; Friday the 13th. _

_Now, don't get me wrong, having Lavender and Parvati as friends is wonderful, but, sometimes… Take today as an example. They carried around so many good luck charms to repel the bad luck that Friday the 13th is supposed to bring. They were actually debating over leaving their beds or not. Honestly, they can be quite a drag sometimes._

_Ron was a touch superstitious today as well. There's nothing wrong with Friday the 13th! How can one day be unlucky! Why, I could just as easily tell everyone that every time a month begins on a Monday, they will have nothing but good luck. _

_Luckily, none of our professor are superstitious; with the exception of Professor Trelwany. I can't say I'm surprised though. Classes went by normally nothing out of the ordinary - for Hogwarts that is._

_The ghosts were certainly happy today; especially Peeves. He played many more tricks than he usually does. It figures that I had to be there when he decided to drop a gigantic water balloon. And, it figures that my class was in not even a minute. And, it figured that it was with Snape – who just happened to be turning the corner when the balloon dropped._

_I swear he's out to get me. His lips were twitching – I swear he wanted to burst into laughter! At least he had the courtesy to not do it in front of me… Everyone else – my friends included – were laughing their heads off._

_And I, I just stood there, sopping wet. Water was dripping from my hair and my uniform onto the floor. I didn't know what to do. But, boy, was I mad. Someone was going to get it…_

_Unfortunately for Ron, he decided to cross my path first. After Potions he decided to comment on how revealing my shirt was when it was wet – not what I would have liked to hear. So I slapped him straight across the face and yelled what a pervert he was – then I turned around and left the classroom; only to ignore him for the rest of the day._

_Serves him right! The rude prat! How dare he?! ARGH! And to top it all off, MALFOY winked at me as I passed by him!!!! _

_All through the rest of the day Ron kept asking me what was wrong. He is such an insensitive jerk at times. Harry just didn't know what to do. On the one hand, he was Ron's best mate, but on the other, he didn't want to feel 'my wrath,' as he put it._

_Now, Lavender and Parvati's idea of staying in bed doesn't sound so bad. Of course, nothing bad happened to them. The water balloon sprayed everyone just a touch – except for them; they were spot free! I really must get a hold of some of those good luck charms for the next Friday the 13th. _

_After classes I just ran up to my dormitory. I absolutely refused to leave. Although, I was seriously doubting my decision when my stomach kept grumbling. Luckily, Ginny brought me some dinner. _

_She told me that Ron had tried to get up the staircase and had fallen. I'm still mad at him, but it is quite cute how he's trying so hard… Thank goodness I didn't have prefect duties with him tonight. I simply worked on homework, and now I believe I shall go to sleep._

_Tomorrow, all of this will be over. No more Friday the 13th bad luck for a while._

**~*~**

_September 14th,_

**_Early Morning – VERY Early Morning… _****_4:35 AM_****__**

_Ugh, I can't sleep. I woke up about and hour and a half ago because of a dream I had… I can't remember it very well though. In fact, I don't even remember whether or not I liked it…_

_And now I have the entire weekend ahead of me. I finished up what homework I had left over. After all, even though I couldn't sleep, didn't mean that I couldn't be productive._

_So, now I'm left with nothing to do but wait for breakfast. I'll probably go outside to watch the sunrise soon. I've always wanted to do that with that special someone – it's so romantic! However, this time, I'll be alone._

_I'd better go get a blanket or something. It's still quite dark outside right now, but, I may as well go out anyway. As long as I've got my wand on me, I'm sure I can handle anything Hogwarts throws at me._

**_Afternoon – Just After Lunch_**

_Well, that sunrise was simply gorgeous! Everything was slowly being lit up and getting life. It was all so… Breathtaking! Who would have thought, that something as simple as a sunrise could give you such a big thrill._

_Now, I certainly was surprised when I got outside. I was looking around for a spot, and then, once I found one, I saw someone. Malfoy was watching the sunrise as well. He was leaning against a tree near the __Forbidden__Forest__ and just watching it. I don't think he noticed me there – it was as if he was the only one there, and everything had ceased to exist. He looked quite sad out there all alone. He wasn't holding himself with the arrogance and confidence that he normally did – he looked just like a regular person. _

_After the sun had risen, I started to get hungry. I would have stayed out longer if it wasn't for the hunger… Malfoy was still there though; in the same position as when I had first came. I've no idea how long he stood there. I really should watch the sunrise more often – it gave me such a burst of energy!_

_While everyone else was struggling to stay awake, I was about to burst! I really wanted to do something, but, everyone went back upstairs to lie down or sleep right after they ate. There's not much you can do alone with so much energy… I looked around for other people, but, I suppose they all had the same idea._

_So, I just went back outside with my blanket and a good book. It really was quite relaxing to just sit there, basking in the sunlight and reading. I suppose it's the sun… I mean, it's the giver of light and energy - it's bound to make you feel alive._

_By lunchtime, everyone was fully awake and ready to tackle the rest of the day. So, we all ate lunch, chatting merrily and enjoying each others' company. And now, here I am in the Common Room, waiting for everyone to come downstairs…_

**_Evening – Quite Late_**

_What an amazing day! Everyone came down quite fast since they were all feeling quite energetic as well. We decided to play a game of Quidditch…_

_Now, I'm a terrible flier, and I'm frightened of heights, but it was just so much fun! We split into teams: boys against girls. Ginny was our Seeker; Parvati was the Keeper; Lavender was the Beater; and I was the Chaser. I've no idea who won… No one bothered to count the score._

_But that Quidditch game sure helped use up all of that energy. It was amazing! We played well into the night. It started getting dark before we stopped. The strange thing was; I wasn't tired, or hot, or sweaty like everyone else was. The sun was shining on us all day, and everyone else was quite hot and very sweaty. But I felt cool and refreshed… I even had more energy left over! I felt like I could run a __Marathon__… It was quite strange, indeed…_

**~*~**

_September 15th,_

_Honestly! When will Ron and Harry learn?! They ALWAYS leave their homework until the last minute – when they expect me to let them copy mine! Well, no! Not this year! Never again, will I let them copy my homework!_

_…_

_Alright, so, I let them copy me… But it was just this once! Never again! It's just that when I look into Ron's adorable baby blue eyes… I just melt – I can't help myself. They're just so clear and blue, and… It's Ron… He's just so adorable… I can't stop it… It's not my fault!_

_But, it's the eyes! There's something about eyes that makes me forget everything around me. It's like the world ceases to exist when I look into someone's eyes… They're the window to the soul. I could look into someone's eyes for hours! I can tell is someone's lying just by looked into their eyes. And sometimes, I seem to be able to sense what people are thinking… Call it woman's intuition, but, I think it's all in the eyes…_

_And eyes are so different. They're like snowflakes – no two eyes are exactly alike. Even in a pair of eyes, there's a difference. And no ones' eyes are the same as anyone else's. Take for example, Ron's innocent, playful baby blue eyes, and then Lavender's mysterious, alluring baby blues. _

_Am I strange? I mean, is it natural to love eyes as much as I do? Or, am I just some sort of freak of nature that has an obsession with eyes? That's all I need! It's ban enough I'm the smartest with in the class; and a muggleborn at that! But to add that to my list… People already think I'm strange… _

_Anyways. Harry finally had himself a proper Quidditch practice this afternoon. I watched the beginning of it, but, I got bored halfway through so I decided to just take myself for a walk around the grounds – after all, it really was a lovely day._

_It's amazing how beautiful everyone is when you stop to actually look at it. I suppose that everything has beauty, it's just that sometimes you have to dig a little deeper to find it… Sometimes, it's where you least expect it to be… _

_I mean, I never realized how beautiful flowers are. Sure, they're quite lovely to look at. But they're so delicate and fragile. They depend so much on us to not hurt them, and to be careful with them. Then there are little baby rabbits. They're so cute and cuddly… But, they're so young and carefree as well – completely unaware of the troubles that befall our little world…_

_I wish I were like that at times. Life can get so complicated sometimes! It's always throwing things in your face to deal with – and you never have a moment's peace! And then when you do get a few of those precious moments, you wonder what's happening._

_What I'd really like to know, though, is what the point of it all is. Sure, life is wonderful and all. It's a gift given to us and all that. But, what exactly IS the point of it? To just live, and then to just die? To help others? But, what's the point of helping them, if they die anyways? I know you should help others, but, really… Why? Why are we here?_

_But, seriously. I'm only a 15, soon to be 16 year old girl… And already, I've dealt with so many things that most adult witches have never had to face! _

_Though I've never actually faced Voldemort myself, I have helped to fight back against him by Harry's side. And I'll keep on fighting until the war has been won and Voldemort has been defeated! I will never stop; and I will never, ever, give up hope. _

_I've also got to deal with discrimination. Though it's not that bad, it's still there – it always will be. Just hearing that dreadful word, "mudblood," makes me wince. You'd think that I would be used to it, but, I'm not. It still hurts everyone someone says it – not just to me. It's like a dagger is piercing my heart._

_Oh, and on top of all of that, I've got to be a witch and learn hundreds upon hundreds of spells and charms that may one day save my life. Though I love being a witch, it really is quite stressful worrying about all of that._

_Then I have to deal with regular everyday problems that muggles and witches deal with: doing well in school, having friends, family, having fun, and being a girl…_

_Sometimes I wonder why I even bother. But then, I look at Harry. He's lost so much, but he's never given up hope… He just keeps on fighting. And I know, that I can't give up. Not only for my sake, but for his, and for the rest of the world's. We all have to band together to defeat Voldemort…_


	6. Chapter 6

**Underneath it All**  
  
**A/N :** As usual, 5 reviews, and I'll update. =) Unless I'm not done the chapter, but I think I'm pretty good at updating after 5 reviews. =) And, I know I didn't get 5 reviews for Chapter 5, but, I had 25 reviews, and, logically, that would calculate to 5 reviews per chapter. =)   
  
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**Amandaliinii** - Thank you, that's exactly what I was trying to show in that chapter. In Hermione's journal entries, I try not to make them trivial and just saying 'Today I… Blah, blah, blah.' I picture Hermione as the type to say everything in her diary. And I try to connect it to something that happened to it's not off topic and completely random like, "I played Quidditch and I'm obsessed with eyes…" 

  
  
  
**_Now we begin...  
  
_**

_September 16th,_

_So, it's back to classes again… We're back to a regular schedule. _

_Harry decided to hold a DA meeting after dinner tonight. Even though we're allowed to hold DA meetings now, I suppose we're just so used to hiding it, that we'll just keep going how we started. We informed everyone with the Galleon method – everyone came, so, that means they kept the Galleon. And everyone arrived secretly as well. _

_I for one, find that it's much more interesting to keep going. Not only is it good practice, but, I must admit, it IS quite fun to be sneaking around… If Ron or Harry found out I thought that though, then I would never hear the end of it! They think I'm the bookworm that doesn't break the rules… But, I can't help it… I find it exhilarating. _

_If only they knew some of the things that I've done… After Harry got the Marauder's Map, and figured out how to get into Hogsmeade, I've gone every time I've needed to be alone… I just go through the Secret Passage with some homework, and go to the Three Broomsticks to have some butterbeer while doing homework. I tell everyone that I'll be in the Library and not to disturbed me – it always works._

_And going there really helps me. I mean, being surrounded by my friends is lovely and all, but, it's just that sometimes, when I feel unwanted, or I just need to get away from it all – it's nice to have the option. It's been going on since 3rd year, and no one has noticed yet – it makes me wonder whether or not they really care…_

_Anyways. We didn't do anything new in DA this time. After all, it was our first meeting of the year, and we just needed to get back into the swing of things. We simply practiced in pairs; going over basic hexes and jinxes. No one really practiced; it's not much fun if you can do it with ease – everyone just chatted and socialized._

_In the middle of the meeting, though, something happened that no one could have predicted… You see, the door opened, and someone entered the room unnoticed. It's quite odd, really; seeing as how me and Ginny were near the door, and noticed nothing. _

_You wouldn't believe who it was, though… It was Malfoy! The whole room just stopped to stare after they realized someone had come in – especially once they saw who it was! No one said a word, and everyone just looked at Malfoy suspiciously. He didn't seem to care though; just stood there, all calm and composed._

_Finally, Harry asked him what he was doing here. And you know what he said?! He said he was wondering if there was a DA meeting, and if he could join! He didn't offer and explanation, just said that he wanted to join. _

_Harry didn't know what to do, so, he looked at me. Of course, he expected ME to know what to do – after all, I'm know-it-all Granger, I have the answers to everything. Honestly! I just nodded; if anything, I could tell him that he must have misinterpreted the nod for something else._

_  
So, Harry let Malfoy stay – it's not like he could kick him out, and it's not like Malfoy would leave willingly. Harry tried to go back to teaching us, but, it wasn't really working out. Everyone kept whispering about Malfoy and what he was doing here. I'd like to know myself. _

_It would have been fine, if Ron hadn't come over to us and kept going on about what a git Malfoy was. He kept shooting him suspicious glances, and snorting in disgust at him. It was quite annoying actually – so I placed a 'Quietus' charm on him so I wouldn't have to listen to it. I don't think he realized that I had even placed it on him…_

_After the DA meeting ended, I was determined to get to the bottom of the whole Malfoy thing. So, I followed him out of the room and tried to get his attention. He kept walking and ignoring me. I ran after him, and finally caught up to him, and asked him. He stopped in his tracks, looked me in the eye, and told me that what he did was his business – then he walked away._

_I just stood there – I didn't know what to do. By the time I regained myself, he was gone. I headed back to the Gryffindor Common Room – my head was filled with new questions, as well as the old ones. Malfoy's up to something, and I need to find out what it is before it's too late…_

**~*~**

_September 17th,_

_Well, today we had double Potions first thing in the morning, so, I figured that I would get a chance to ask Malfoy again. After all, he couldn't leave in the middle of class. Now, normally, being paired up with him would have been torture, but, this time, I was glad. It was the perfect opportunity to ask him!_

_We were finally going to brew the Memoria Potion this class. We were supposed to last time, but, Snape said we probably weren't ready, and made us read more on it, and copy down more notes. It was a wonderful review on the potion… Although, I would have liked to brew it last class._

_Now, I knew that since I was with Malfoy we would do will. There's no denying that he's intelligent – especially in Potions. I'm sure he got an O in it as well. I was so worried that I would only get an E since I added and extra pinch of Shrivelfig to the Shrinking Potion… _

_I tried several times to ask Malfoy about the DA meeting from last night, but, he just kept ignoring me or telling me to get back to brewing the potion. Well, we were the first to finish brewing the Potion, so, I decided to ask him then. But he just told me what he had told me last night… _

_After everyone had finished, Snape decided that our partners would have to try ours. I felt so bad for Hannah Abott; she was paired with Neville and would have to drink his crackling, smoking murky brown potion. I've no idea how he managed to achieve that…_

_Now, the Memorium potion is supposed to make you remember something from your past. The more you drink, the further back you can remember. Malfoy took a spoonful of it, and then he tried to stifle a scream. Snape paled, and escorted him out, warning us to not do anything._

_I wonder what Malfoy saw… And it seemed as if Snape knew what was going on… I really don't like being so clueless about things… If only I knew…_

_Snape came back with Malfoy who was back to his cold demeanor. Snape made me try the potion next. I took as much as Malfoy did, so that I would be able to pinpoint around how long ago Malfoy remembered whatever it was. _

_It was back in the end of Fifth Year – when we were in the Department of Mysteries. I saw Sirius falling. I remembered the look on his face – he was laughing, and then shocked as to what had just happened. I remembered the look on Harry's face – it was a mixture of sadness and anger. I remembered the look on Lupin's face – he paled and didn't know what to do. Suddenly, I snapped back to real life. _

_I had worked so hard to bury that night deep down in my mind. The looks on those three faces had haunted my dreams. Though I hadn't been that close to Sirius, he was very dear to Harry, and that was what affected me. And then Harry's face… I had tried to forget that face. It was then that he was no longer a child. He had dealt with loss before, but he had actually seen Sirius – his last shred of family left – fall at Voldemort's hands. After that, he had never been the same. And Lupin's face. That was the one and only time I had ever seen him looking helpless. I wanted to get on with my life – to forget those expressions. I had been doing so well…_

_I started to cry. I burst into tears and ran out of the dungeon. I just ran and ran and ran. And here I am in a cubicle in Moaning Myrtle's bathroom. I know that I've no right to do this. Harry's been so strong, and he's dealt with much more than me. But I'm just not as brave as he is. I just can't hide certain emotions as well as he can. _

_I've no idea how long I've been sitting here, but I'm sure Snape will be angry with me… I'm bound to get detention and lose points from Gryffindor. It's only a matter of time before someone finds me…_

**-**

**Night**

**-**

_Well, I was found. Found by none other than Draco Malfoy. How he knew where I was, I will never knew. But what shocked me the most was that he had followed me. He was the only one that had bothered to come looking for me. Perhaps Snape had told him to, since he was finished already, but, I have this feeling…_

_He didn't say much, really. He just helped my up, and led me out of the bathroom. He started to take me somewhere, but, I didn't resist. I just didn't have it in me. I was sitting there, thinking about, well, everything. I was still thinking when he was leading me away from the bathroom. I didn't really register what had happened until we reached a room. _

_I've no idea what, or where the room was. But it was quite a lovely room. It looked like it belonged in the Queen's palace! The carpet was a rich deep green colour. The walls were stone like the rest of the castle, but, these ones were covered with paintings and a wall of books. There was a large arm chair made out of a velvet forest green. It was so soft that I didn't want to get off of it. In front of it, there was a warm fire crackling, and another chair similar to the first. The room itself was quite small, but it was so cozy and comfortable that it was just right._

_Malfoy__ sat down in the chair opposite me, and watched the fire while I thought about what had happened. Finally, he spoke. He started to ask me what had made me run out of the dungeon in tears. I didn't know if I should tell him, but, something made me. I told him all about the memory that had just resurfaced, and how I felt. He didn't interrupt me at all, and looked at me, as if urging me to go on. _

_Once I had finished, he leaned back on his chair, and said that that was the night he had remembered as well. I asked him if he wanted to tell mea bout it, but he just shook his head, and kept watching the fire, thinking._

_We sat there for quite some time, lost in our own thoughts. The room was silent, but it was a comfortable silence – I never though that could happen with me and Malfoy…_

_I asked him where I was, but, he either didn't hear me, or pretended not to. After a while, he seemed to snap back into reality. He asked me if I was OK, and whether or not I was hungry. Truth be told, I was quite hungry, but, I was a tad uneasy about accepting food from him. After all, he could have easily poisoned it. _

_I was too hungry to reject his offer, and he left the room for a bit. I was thinking again about the whole night at the Department of Mysteries when I saw his shadow above me. He handed me a plate of food, and then took his own back to his chair._

_After we finished eating, we started to talk. I don't know how, or why, but we just talked. It wasn't small talk, it was a real conversation. I told him about that entire night in the Department of Mysteries, while he sat there. He looked quite sad, and he said that he couldn't believe what he had done. I was quite shocked with what he had said, but, I chose not to say anything about it. _

_We talked about our families, classes, feelings, futures… Everything that we felt at the moment. It was such a lovely conversation, and it was going so well. I really was quite surprised about it. I honestly never though that I could have a civilized, let alone deep, conversation with Malfoy – but here I was, telling him things that I wouldn't dare speak aloud to anyone else. _

_I don't know what made me trust him, but, it felt like something was telling me that it was OK to tell him. And the fact that he seemed to truly care made me want to tell him everything. He didn't do much talking – just listening. I asked him about his memory, but he said that he wasn't ready to tell anyone. _

_It was a pity that the conversation had to end… We must have talked for hours because by the time we left the room, the castle was quite dark and empty. He walked be to the Great Hall, and then turned to leave._

_I knew that I couldn't just end the night like that. After everything that we had talked about, it didn't seem appropriate to just cut it off like that. So, I ran after him. Unlike the last time, he didn't keep going, but he stopped and turned around to see what I wanted._

_I wasn't sure whether or not I was doing the right thing at the time, but now I know that I did. It may not sound like much, but, it meant so much to me, and I'm sure it did to him. I said, and I quote, "Thank you, it really meant a lot to me, Draco. Good night." I could tell he was shocked at my words, but he didn't say anything for a while. I was so nervous, and I didn't know what to do. Finally, he said, and I quote, "No, thank you, Hermione." _

_And I knew; I knew that our petty rivalry was over. We were no longer enemies. Don't ask me how I knew, or why it was like that. But that was how it was – and I was glad._

**~*~**

  
_September 18th,_

_Honestly, Ron and Harry can get quite irritating! I got back to the Common Room very late – everyone was asleep once I got there. So, I just went right to sleep._

_Well, in the morning, Ron and Harry came up to me in the Common Room while I was reading over my Herbology essay before going down for breakfast. They just came up to me, and demanded to know what had happened. Well, Ron did. Harry just sort of stood there, not knowing what to do with himself._

_I simply told them that what I did was my business. I couldn't believe I had said that… Draco had said that to ME, and here I was, saying it to my two best friends._

_Ron only got madder. He yelled at me to tell him what had happened, and where I had been the whole day after my outburst in the dungeon._

_What business did he have demanding to know that?!! Honestly!! I just glared at him, grabbed my bag, and stormed out the Portrait Hall to go for breakfast. Ron yelled at me to go back and tell him, but I just went faster._

_I can't believe he dared do that to me!! He had no right whatsoever to yell at me to tell him what I had done!! It was my business what I did, and who I told! _

_Ron kept trying to approach me all day in between classes, but, I managed to steer clear of him. I was in no mood to talk to him today. I knew that if he said one word to me, I wouldn't be able to control myself. He thought that he had seen an outburst in Potions, but, that was nothing compared to what I would have done…_

_After classes I headed right for the Library. But that was too predictable. If I went there, then he would most definitely find me, and yell at me. So, I went to Hogsmeade. I had my bag with me, and I always carried some spare change with me just in case – so I went to Hogsmeade._

_I must say, it really did clear my head. I had a butterbeer at the Three Broomsticks and finished up my homework there; I didn't have very much – only a few translations for Runes and some problems for Arithmancy. I knew that I couldn't go back to Hogwarts yet, so, I decided to walk around Hogsmeade to see to get some fresh air and clear my head._

_I walked around Hogsmeade for several hours. I went into a small restaurant to have a bite to eat for dinner. I didn't eat much, and right after, I decided that it was time to head back to Hogwarts. After all, I couldn't disappear for too long or else people would notice._

_I got back and went right to the Library and set out some books. That way, if anyone came in, I could say that I had been in there the whole time. I was trying to write an essay for Potions about the experience of the Memorium potion, but, I just couldn't concentrate. _

_Though the walk in Hogsmeade gave me a lot of time to think, it didn't really solve any of my questions. I packed up quite soon, and decided to turn in early. In the Common Room, everyone was off doing there own thing – it was like I was invisible. No one had noticed my absence, or my return…_

**~*~**

_September 19th, _

_What a lovely birthday this was! I finally turned 16 today – everyone calls it the Sweet Sixteen; it's supposed to be one of the best years of your life. Well, it's off to a bad start. _

_Ron was still ignoring me. He kept shooting me dirty looks over meals. What good is a birthday if one of your best friends is mad at you?! _

_Harry was neutral. We wished me a happy birthday and handed me a gift, but he spent the rest of the day with Ron. I didn't even bother to open the gift – I just thanked him and put it in my bag after he left._

_Ginny wished me a happy birthday also, and promised to spend the evening with me… She ended up spending it doing homework she had forgotten about – at least she apologized and promised to make it up to me another time._

_Lavender and Parvati handed me a gift as well; it was from the two of them – it was a book. More proof of what everyone though of me. I'm not just a bookworm! There's more to me than that…_

_I just wish everyone would realize that! Just because I love to read, and I want to do well in school, doesn't mean that that's all I am or can be. It's like I'm expected to do that, and nothing more. Now, I don't want to be some rebellious teen that never does her schoolwork and smokes or drinks. But, I would like to be seen for what I really am…_

_Over the summer, when I was at home, I spend a lot of the time with my old friends. They think I'm at a Boarding School since muggles aren't allowed to know that magic exists. I had such a fun time then! We did all sorts of interesting things… And they didn't see me as some boring know-it-all. They saw me as this adventurous girl that loved to have fun and live life – and that's who I am! I may love books, but that doesn't mean I can't be more! _

_We did all sorts of things that girls do – shopping, partying, gossiping… And then we did amazing things as well. We took a week trip to Cumbria, and climbed Scafell Peak. It was such an adventure!   
  
_

_Sure I read over the summer break, but, I still had time to have fun. And it seems like I can't do that at Hogwarts. No one will let me… It's like they're forcing me to stay a bookworm. They ask me if I'm going to the Library, as if they want me to go, and leave them alone. And, if I suggest something fun, then they think I'm joking, or think that I'm coming down with a fever. If only they would let me be me…_

_At least my birthday wasn't a whole loss… I got something from my parents. It came with a letter from Dumbledore wishing me a happy birthday and saying that it had been mailed to me and that he was just passing it on. My parents sent me a lovely new sweater and several sweets. With it came a short, but sweet letter wishing me a happy birthday. _

_Unfortunately, it also said that I wouldn't be able to go come for the Christmas hols since my parents decided to have a second honeymoon. At least I could hear from them. Normally, I don't hear anything form them unless I go home for the break. It was quite a nice change to know that they cared…_

_I got another owl; I've no idea who it was from though. It came with a note, that simply said, "Happy Birthday." It was attached to a parcel wrapped in plain brown paper. I decided that I would open it later, just in case. So I put it in my bad along with Harry's gift…_

_Classes went by normally – nothing out of the ordinary. I kept wondering who the second owl was from. But, luckily, we were only reading in most of our classes, and I had read ahead. _

_After classes had ended, I decided to take a walk around the school grounds for some fresh air. I didn't stay out too long though. Harry was having a Quidditch practice, and I didn't feel like being around so much noise… And Ron._

_So I headed back inside and walked around the castle. I didn't feel like going down for dinner, so I went to the Kitchens to get something to eat instead. Much as I don't like house-elf enslavement, I've started to grow to terms with it. Though I'll always help any house-elves that want to be freed, I'm not going to go around like I used to. _

_After I ate something, I decided to turn in early. I was quite tired, and, if I was asleep, nothing else could happen to make my birthday worse. Neville was in the Common Room with Seamus and Dean though, and they wanted to play Exploding Snap with me. They didn't see it fit that I go to sleep early on my birthday._

_We played several games, until more people started to come up to the Common Room. No one would let me go to sleep – after all, it was my birthday. So, I put on a smile, and played games or chatted with everyone. Everyone, that is to say, except Ron. On more than one occasion I caught Harry looking at me sadly, and Ron glaring at me._

_At about 11 o'clock, everyone started to go up. Finally, it was just me, Ron, and Harry. I sat by the fire holding a book, but not really reading it – my mind was elsewhere. Finally. Harry got up, and said good night to the two of us. As he passed by me, he whispered happy birthday and that he hoped everyone would get better._

_After a few minutes of an awkward silence, Ron finally spoke. He had a bit of trouble at first, since he was stuttering, but his message got across. He was sorry that he had been so rude, and hoped that I could forgive him. That was all I needed, my eyes were brimmed with tears as I hugged him tightly, and told him that it was alright. He was a tad surprised, I'm sure, since I don't usually forgive him so easily. But, nevertheless, he hugged me back and wished me a happy birthday._

_We sat down on the couch after we finished hugging and started to talk. We was in the middle of telling him about the anonymous letter, when he cleared his throat and interrupted me. I wasn't sure what he was going to do, but I stopped talking and looked at him._

_He was blushing like mad, and I could tell he wasn't sure that he was doing the right thing. He cleared his throat, and reached for my hand.   
  
And, oh, you wouldn't believe what happened next! He mumbles something that I couldn't understand, but then, he asked me loud and clear, and I wanted to go out with him!! I was so happy, that I grabbed him in a hug. _

_Poor Ron, though. After we broke apart form the embrace, he asked me if that was a yes. He can be so adorable when he's clueless…_

_Well, I must say, my birthday wasn't as bad as I thought it was…_


	7. Chapter 7

**Underneath it All**  
  
**A/N** : Another chapter… That last one was quite long, lolz. I'm writing a lot since it's Christmas break, and there is no homework to be done!! =) So, enjoy the long chapters!! And the more chapters as well, if that makes sense, lolz. And don't forget to leave me reviews! =)   
  
Oh yes, and if you know how to bolden italicize or underline words so that they show up like that when uploaded, please tell me!! It would make things a heck of a lot easier for you guys to read. (E-Mail - lilmisspurrfection@hotmail.com | AIM - o0Purrfection0o) Just send me the code, thanks. =D

(hp/charmed obsesed - Thanks for the idea, I'm trying it here!! =))  
  
**DISCLAIMER : All characters and places are brought to you by JK Rowling - not me.**  
  
Reviews-  
  
_Thanks:_  
**hp/charmed obsesed** - Thank you! I'd say more, but, I don't want to spill the plot, lolz.

**Ashes Kittyhawk **- That _is _strange…  
**Amandaliini **- Thanks, and just you wait. =P

**noseyMCnosey **- Aw, thanks!! =)    
**aubey michelle **- Thanks, and yes I am. =) It doesn't pay much, but, I have the whole thing worked out… Lolz, it's all an inside joke from a field trip we took to the Career Centre one day…

**BBLLPMLover **- You'll just have to wait and see… ; )  
  
  
**_Now we begin..._**  
  
_September 20th,_   
  


_This morning, I woke up quite late, and was rushing to get all of my things packed – I didn't have enough time for breakfast! So, I was running around the Common Room and my dormitory - Ron and Harry were quite amused, and Ron kept trying to say something. Finally, I just let him say what he wanted to say. Apparently, he had packed my bag for me this morning because I had been sleeping. It turns out, that I was going around searching for nothing! Although, it was quite sweet of him…_

_The only thing was, was that he had packed everything wrong… I didn't tell him or anything, since I didn't want to hurt his feelings. But, it took me some more time to find the right books. As I was repacking my bag, I found my gifts from last night – I hadn't opened them. I really wanted to find out what they were, but, time wouldn't allow it. It's days like these I really wish I had my Time Turner again._

_Because it took me so long to pack, I was late for my first class – Defense Against the Dark Arts. Now, it wouldn't have been that bad, since Professor Parlink would have understood. As luck would have it, he wasn't there! Snape was filling in! The last time he had filled in for the Defense Against the Dark Arts professor, Lupin had turned out to be a werewolf…_

_Snape, being Snape, offered no explanation, and took off 20 points from Gryffindor!! Honestly, 20! I was only 5 minutes late too – but, I suppose he was right… It was, after all, a NEWT Class, and if I wanted to do well, I couldn't afford to miss any class time._

_Ron was positively fuming when that happened! I could tell he wanted to yell at Snape, or harm him in any means possible… I think Snape noticed, since he smirked in Ron's direction… Now, I know that he's on our side, and that he's helped our side a lot, but, I can't help but hate him at times… _

_I mean, he can be down-right rude when he wants to be! Like, back in Third year when he filled for Lupin… _

_He only made us copy out notes from our text book on Chapter 2: Dementors. The class went by quite slowly though, and it didn't help that Ron kept muttering things under his breath about how much he hated Snape…_

_The rest of the day went by quite smoothly… Until lunch that is. During lunch, I spilt my tea on myself! I had to hurry and change before classes started. And, wouldn't you know it, the seam of my bag split as I was leaving __Gryffindor__Tower__! So, I had to go back, find a new bag, and repack it. _

_Of course, I was late for History of Magic. Professor Binns, as usual, seemed surprised that someone was in his class. Luckily, he didn't take off any points. I've no idea what he was talking about though… I was just so frazzled from running around and rushing, that I just couldn't pay attention. That, and my mind kept drifting off to a certain blonde headed boy that just happened to be sitting in front of me…_

_Luckily, Ron and Harry dropped History of Magic, so, I didn't have to worry about giving them my notes, and having to endure their teasing for not paying attention. I got the notes from Susan Bones – she really is quite nice; in a shy, sweet way._

_After History of Magic, I had Charms, and that was that. Friday's were always light on my schedule. I figure that since it's the end of the week, I may as well relax and thin ka bit less about school. Now, don't get me wrong. School is important, but, it's nice to something forget about it… I asked Professor McGonagall if she wouldn't mind making my schedule lighter on Fridays… Now, I know that it wasn't right to do that, but, I just thought that I may as well… It's better for me, right?_

_After classes were done and over with, I was heading for the Common Room when I bumped into Ron. He asked me if I wanted to take a stroll around the grounds with him before it got to dark – I was more than happy to go! It was quite a nice stroll – we chatted a bit, and then just sort of enjoyed company at other times. _

_We headed for the Great Hall for dinner right after the stroll; after all, we were getting a bit hungry. After dinner, I decided to stop by at the Library to get a book. Actually, everyone kept asking me if I was going to the Library, so I just decided that I may as well. Obviously, I wasn't wanted._

_I debated going to Hogsmeade or not, but, I figured that I may as well just go to the Library. I wasn't in the mood to sneak around, and I did want to catch up on my reading. Well, about a half hour later, Harry came to the Library; he said that I should take a break from all of this reading, and go to the Common Room and just have fun. _

_So, I packed up my things, and headed up for the Common Room with Harry. All the way, he kept smiling, and then trying to hide it. It seemed like he wanted to tell me something, but, whenever I asked him, he told me it was nothing, and then looked away. It was quite odd, really… I can't remember the last time he seemed to excited, it seemed. I suppose it's all Voldemort's doing… It's a pity that Voldemort has singled out Harry, I always wonder why he chose Harry and his parents…_

_Well, when we got to the Common Room, it was pitch black – which was a first. I was a bit suspicious since Harry had said that everyone was there playing a game or chatting around the fire. But then, everyone lit their wands, and yelled, 'Surprise!' I was so shocked – and there was a huge banner that said 'Happy Birthday Hermione!' Everyone was there – even the First and Second Years! They left to go off and do their own thing after a while though. The party went on for a long time – well past __midnight__! There was lots of food, sweets, and butterbeer – I suppose Ron and Harry snuck out to get some from Hogsmeade. _

_It really was a lovely party. I had lots of fun, and so did everyone else, but, something was making me uneasy. There was something at the back of my mind that was bothering me – I just couldn't figure out what it was! I didn't think anything of it, after all, it couldn't be that important if I couldn't remember… _

_The party ended and everyone went upstairs to get some sleep. Only Ron, Harry, and I remained. We sat in front of the fire, and had a good long talk. We hadn't had one of those in a while. It feels like lately, I've been drifting away from them, and they feel the same way. I suppose it was bound to happen eventually. I mean, they have their Quidditch and guy stuff, and I'm a girl… Sure we're still friends, but, we're not as close as when we were younger. I have my girl friends and girl stuff now… _

_It saddens me, how, over one summer, everything's changed. I mean, I've become friends with Lavender and Parvati, but, at the same time, I've separated myself from Ron and Harry. _

_And then there's the whole Draco thing… I'm so confused about that! One night, we're chatting all day long; missing class and not even noticing or caring! And then the next, it's back to being distant from each other, and just ignoring one another… I wish I knew what was going on. It's not like I like to hate him – I suppose it's only because Ron hated him, and I was always around him, so, I got that instilled in my mind. And his mudblood remarks – sure, they bothered me, after all, who likes to be put down for things that are out of their control? But, at the same time, I didn't really care. It became part of my life, and I just brushed it aside… Never completely though – it would always hurt._

_But then he stopped calling me a mudblood, and there I was, thinking that we could have a neutral relationship… I suppose we still can, it's just that it's hard when you can't understand what the other person wants…_

_Anyways… Ron, Harry, and I stayed up a good two hours chatting – the fire was just dying out when Ron decided to call it a night. He gave me a peck on the cheek before leaving… Now, don't get me wrong, I love having Ron returning my feelings, but… It just feels like we're not right for each other._

_When I first met him, I developed a crush on him, and, as the years went by, that grew stronger. But, now I'm wondering if maybe it was only a strong love as a brother… It just didn't feel right! I've known him for so long, and I know him so well – I'm one of his best friends! I suppose that it might be that I'm not used to having a boyfriend or anything… I don't know… Only time will tell…_

_After Ron left, me and Harry stayed up for another hour or so, chatting. Now, with Ron, it's all fun and games. Sure he can be serious, but, there's always that hint of humor with him. With Harry, it's always serious… He knows how to have fun, but, it's just not the same… Though we didn't talk for too long, I learned so many things._

_I always knew that Harry was a strong, brave person. I always knew that he hid his feelings and thoughts behind his independent exterior as well – I just didn't know how much he hid. He has such a burden on his shoulders! _

_I was reading over one of my journal entries, and I was complaining about how much I had to deal with. I can't believe I was so selfish!! Now, I know that I have the right to complain about hardships and problems, but, when I think about Harry…_

_Think about it: he lost his parents before he even got to know them; he lost Sirius – the one thing that was even close to family; he has to live with the Dursley's – though they're family, they treat him like dirt, that he doesn't even refer to them as family; he's had to watch so many people die and suffer under the hands of Voldemort… _

_On top of that, he told me why it all happened. I was shocked; I couldn't believe it! A prophecy was made several years ago, and, Voldemort hears snippets of it. Basically, since Voldemort thought that Harry fit the description of the boy from the prophecy, Harry has to either be a murderer, or be murdered! Only he can murder Voldemort – neither can live while the other survives._

_Now, add on to that Quidditch, homework, friends, and other guy stuff… My heart broke for him. I wish there was something I could do to lighten his burden, but, he said that it was his to carry, and that he wouldn't be able to live with himself if he knew that I was carrying it for him…_

_Before we went upstairs to try and get some sleep, Harry told me what he wanted to do with his life. He told me that in previous years, he had wanted to become and Auror and battle evil. But now, he said that all he wants to do, is vanquish Voldemort, and then just settle down and lead a calm and peaceful life. He told me that all he wanted was some peace and harmony in his life, and to be able to be a normal person._

_I wish him that. I wish him to defeat Voldemort. I wish him to lead a life of calmness and peace. I wish him a normal life. I wish him everything wants. Because, you see, if anyone deserves to have their heart's desire fulfilled – it's Harry. _

_So, I asked him what it was, that, maybe I could help him. And he told me, he told me that I couldn't… That no one could get it for him… At first, I didn't understand. After all, you can accomplish anything that you set your mind to. But then, it hit me. He wanted a family. He wanted to have his parents by his side once more. He wanted to relive his childhood as a normal person with his parents…_

_I wish I could help him… But there's nothing I can do…_

**~*~**

_September 21st,_

_Sometimes, I really do wonder whether or not I have insomnia… Last night, I just couldn't get to sleep. I just lay there in bed, thinking and looking out the window. I tried for hours to get to sleep, but I just couldn't do it – I had too much on my mind. That chat with Harry really opened my eyes…_

_Well, since it was already 5 in the morning, and I had yet to get a wink of sleep, I decided that I may as well head outside to watch the sunrise again. So, I packed up a blanket and a cloak, and then decided to head down to the Kitchens first to get something to eat. There weren't many house-elves up yet, and they were too tired to do anything, so, I just got myself something to eat. _

_I brought everything outside, and found myself a spot by the __Forbidden__Forest__. I wasn't rally hungry, so, I just left the food aside for when I did._

_The sun started to rise a few minutes after I was all ready and comfortable. Now, I've seen several sunrises in my life, well, parts of them, at least. I've only seen the full sunrise from beginning to end once in my life before that. But, I knew something was different._

_The sky is usually an orange or pink colour, but, it was red. It was a deep red that almost looked like blood… And the sun, which is normally a dark yellow or light orange, was a ginger colour – red mixed with orange. It was quite odd; I wonder if it meant anything…_

_A few minutes into the sunrise, Draco Malfoy came out – I wonder if he comes out to watch the sunrise everyday, or only on weekends, or if it's just a coincidence that I've seen him… Anyways. I was hidden by the trees, so, he didn't see me. _

_I didn't think much of him – I was too busy with my thoughts. My talk with Harry kept replaying itself in my mind… I wish I could do something for him; make his life easier, or something. I just feel so helpless. He's suffering – I know he is. And I hate being so helpless and being unable to do anything for him. _

_As I was pondering something to do to help ease his pain, the sunrise was almost finished. And, it seemed that the moment it had fully risen, I was energized. I suddenly had the perfect idea – I knew exactly how to help Harry!_

_I found it a bit odd that it happened right at the moment of the risen sun, but, I'm sure it was just a coincidence… Either that, or I just happened to clear my head because of the tranquility and beauty of the sunrise. Maybe that's all I need; maybe I only need the sun, and then I can concentrate more… _

_As soon as I got the idea, I must have made a noise, because Draco's head turned in my direction, and we made eye contact. I was blushing like mad… it was so embarrassing, although, I've no idea why; it was only Draco Malfoy…_

_Well, he must have also seen the basket of food that I had brought, because he came over to me, sat down on my blanket, and helped himself to some food. I had no idea what to do, so, I just grabbed some food for myself, and let him eat what he took._

_We sat there for quite some time, because by the time we started heading into the castle, many people were already awake. _

_While we were sitting together, my mind kept drifting off to that room we were in… This reminded me so much of our conversation there. We didn't speak any words this time, but, it was such a comfortable silence, and I truly enjoyed his company… I must be going mad… If Ron or Harry found out any of this…_

_I didn't bother going to the Great Hall since I had already eaten, so, I just went up to __Gryffindor__Tower__ and put everything away. I didn't feel like sitting around and reading or doing nothing all day – I felt like doing something! I felt ready to tackle anything! Unfortunately, no one else did. I asked around a few people, but, they said that they just wanted to relax and cool off from a busy week of classes._

_Well, I wasn't going to let that stop me! I just kept asking other people, until finally, someone agreed to do something with me. Eva Hoffman; a Hufflepuff that I have Arithmancy with, was also feeling energetic. So, with our newfound energy, we decided to go around the Hogwarts grounds and explore. We'd never gone around the whole grounds since they're so big. And we had to whole day ahead of us, so, we packed a lunch, and then set off. _

_After about an hour or so, and only seeing grass and the __Forbidden__Forest__, we started to get bored, and began to wonder whether or not we should continue. We decided to keep going a bit longer, just in case there was something interesting, after all, we could always turn back. _

_Well, we didn't see anything, and I wanted to turn back. But, Eva ran into the __Forbidden__Forest__! I couldn't just leave her there alone, so, I had no choice but to run after her. I don't know how far I chased her into the __Forest__, but, we ran into an empty clearing and decided to stop there for lunch before turning back._

_We ate our lunch, and as we were packing it up, we saw that we were surrounded by fairies. They were much smaller than us, and they had delicate wings. They looked so delicate and fragile, that we didn't think they would harm us. But just in case, I cast a Shield Charm around us. _

_Well, those fairies were anything BUT innocent! I swear they wanted to attack us! They kept showing us their sharp glistening teeth, and growling at us. Surprisingly, they didn't do anything. I suppose they were waiting for someone… _

_We didn't have to wait long. In front of a group of particularly snobbish looking fairies appeared the most beautiful fairy of them all. She was so very pale, with black hair that was dark as night. She wore a dress made of a rich pink fabric that went down to the ground. Atop her head was a lovely golden crown with jewels encrusted all over it. The only piece of jewelry she wore was a silver chain with a diamond pendant in the shape of a heart… _

_She said nothing, but just waved her hand toward us. As soon as she did that, our shield disappeared, and two particularly strong-looking fairies took hold of us. They confiscated Eva's wand, and tried to take mine. But the moment that the fairy touched it, he shocked and burned. The fairy's pale skin became a crispy black, and he howled with pain as he gripped his hand and fell to the floor. I still wonder what caused that… _

_Several other fairies tried to take my wand, but the same thing happened to them. They even tried to take it away from me using magic, but nothing worked. Finally, they gave up, and let me keep my wand. It was quite odd that no one was able to take it…_

_All of the fairies were scared to come near me, let alone touch me, but one of them had to. Eva and I were led to a cavern and left there by the fairies. They sealed the opening so that we wouldn't be able to open it – believe me, I tried; with and without magic. _

_And now, here we are, all alone in the middle of the __Forbidden__Forest__, trapped in a cavern. I've tried several charms and spells to get out of here, or to alert someone of our presence here, but all that's happened, is that we've heard the laughter of the fairies. I wonder if we'll ever get out…_

**~*~**

_September 22nd,_

_I didn't go to sleep at all last night – I don't trust anything in this __Forbidden__Forest__. Anyone would be able to attack us while we're at our most vulnerable. I watched Eva sleep while I stood guard by the opening. I managed to magic some fire to keep us warm, and we still had some food leftover from our basket that we ate._

_I watched faint rays of the sun penetrate through some of the gaps in the opening, and I think that that is was kept me going. I really do wonder why the sun has such an effect on me…_

_For several hours, we discussed how we could escape the wrath of the fairies, but we came up with nothing. As the afternoon sun's rays came through the gaps, I got an idea. Since we couldn't get out ourselves, perhaps we could bargain with the fairies to let us out. The only problem was, was that we didn't know where they were. So, ever so often, we yelled for the fairies… Not even a laugh came._

_As we sat there in the cave, I thought about my life. What did I have to show for it? O's in all of my subjects? Being the smartest witch in the class? None of that could help me now… The fairies wouldn't care if I could transfigure a stone into a rat… It hadn't helped us get out of the cave… Nothing could leave it seemed…_

_We sat there in silence, thinking about everything. Had anyone even noticed we were gone? Had anyone even cared? Did they just think that I had gone to the Library and stayed late, and then went back very early? Would anyone bother to check? It seemed that all hope was lost; that we would never get out._

_I would never see Harry and Ron again… I would never gossip with Lavender and Parvati… I would never read another book… I would never go to another class… I would never see Crookshanks again… I would never find out what was going on with Malfoy… I would never see my parents again… Would I even see the light of day again? Would I ever feel the sun beaming down on me again; not just tiny little rays? Would I rot in this cave until I died?_

_It was well into the evening when we heard the fairies returning. We didn't know how long they would stay; so it was now or never. But then something hit me – what if they didn't know English? I couldn't speak Fairy, or, whatever language they spoke… But it was too late for that. I just had to try…_

_Eva would be of no help – she was curled up in a ball at the end of the cave crying silently. It was all up to me to try and get us out. So I called for the fairies. I called and I called, until I could call no more… I must have yelled for at least an hour before they finally replied… _

_Although, it would hardly count as a reply; all I got was a laugh. But I wouldn't let that discourage me – at least I knew they were there. So I kept on yelling for them to let me out; for them to help me. They all just kept laughing; louder and louder; taunting me. Then they were gone… And I was alone again… _

_Eva had fallen asleep, and the fire had died out. I didn't bother to relight it. What was the point?_

_And then I did something that I hadn't done in a long time – I cried; I really and truly cried. I cried for Eva, for having to be locked in this dingy cave. I cried for Harry, who had so much to deal with in his life. I cried for Ron, whom I would never see again. I cried for Crookshanks, who would be alone. I cried to my parents, whom I would never see again. I cried for Malfoy, whose secret I would never unlock, and whose life was horrid. I cried, and cried. I had so many tears inside me, and I just cried for everything in my life… _

_And most of all, I cried for myself. I cried that I had never had any true friends. I cried for all of the times I had been neglected. I cried for all of the times I had been pushed away. I cried for all of the times I had been alone. I cried for everything… _

_And now, I've cried all I can cry – I can't cry anymore; I've run out of tears. All I can do now, is sit here and wait; wait for my fate to be decided…_


	8. Chapter 8

**Underneath it All**  
  
**A/N** : I've been writing quite a bit since I have so much free time… I hope you enjoy the longer chapters… They're also updated faster too, lolz. Isn't it much easier on the eyes now that I know how to make it bold, italicized, and underlines!! =)     
  
**DISCLAIMER :**** All characters and places are brought to you by JK Rowling - not me.**  
  
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**_Now we begin..._**

**__**

_September 23rd,_

**-**

**Afternoon**

**-**

_I guess I managed to get to sleep last night… It must have been all of that crying. I can't believe that I cried so much! I suppose it was good that I did, since I got all my feelings out, but I'm so disgusted with myself too! I've never broken down like that before – no matter what the situation! And there I was, crying like a baby… At least no one saw me; at least I can have some dignity in that._

_The fairies were long gone by the time I woke up… Eva was already awake; she was watching the opening of the cave with a tearstained face. She keeps getting angry with herself for coming into the __Forest__ and causing all of this. I keep telling her that it's not her fault, after all, I didn't have to follow her. And I didn't have to keep going with her after I caught up with her. I could have just as easily cast a spell on her to take her back to the castle. It's as much her fault as it is mine – I craved adventure, but I forgot that with adventure come many troubles…_

_The cave is quite empty, and I've transfigured some stones into food, water, and a blanket. There aren't many stones left, so we're going to have to find other things to transfigure if we want to survive and make it out… I'm just glad that I brought my diary. I don't know what I would do without it… It was odd, really. I wasn't even thinking when I packed it – I just took it. _

_I kept yelling for the fairies and for help ever so often. I just know that we'll get out of here – we have to! But it's not looking good for Eva. I don't know what's wrong with her, but she won't eat or drink anything. She's so pale now, and she looks so sick. She just sits on the blanket, arms wrapped around her knees, lost in thought. She won't say anything, and she looks weaker and weaker by the minute. Her turquoise eyes; once bright and filled with energy, are now dull and lifeless. I don't know what's wrong with her, and every time I ask her, she shakes her head. If only I knew, I could help. _

_Classes have started, it's already the middle of the day, I'm sure. By now, someone must have noticed our absence. But will they come after us? Will they find us? Or, are we doomed to stay in this dank cave until we can no longer survive? No, I refuse to believe that! We will get out – someone will find us, or we, ourselves, will find a way out. There must be a way!_

_I searched through the entire cave, and mind you, there wasn't much to search. I felt around everything, and tried every charm or spell I could think of. I tried to move the stone covering the opening, and I tried to claw off pieces of the stones that made up the wall… But, nothing… Nothing worked. But I'm not giving up hope. Everything has a weakness, and sooner or later, I will find it… We will get out._

_I heard the fairies! Just now, I heard the fairies! Oh, maybe we'll get lucky this time… Maybe, maybe they'll help us… Maybe they'll have mercy. I must try!_

**-**

**Evening**

**-**

_I knew it! I knew that we would get out! We're finally out of the cave!! Oh, it feels so good to breathe fresh air… Mind you, we've still got a long way to get back to Hogwarts, but, at least we're out of the cave… They're still hope!_

_Here, let me tell you how we got out…_

_I yelled, and I yelled for a good long time. I blocked out the taunting laughter of the fairies, and I think that that's what made me keep going and not give up. I kept yelling, even though I heard the fairies leaving. There was nothing to be lost if I kept going. I was about to accept defeat, when I saw the stone covering the opening move. It wasn't a large movement, just something very subtle – as if to acknowledge someone was there. At first I didn't believe it – I was sure that it was just a figment of my imagination. _

_But Eva saw it too, and I saw a flicker of hope in her eyes. That little sign made me believe. I yelled once more, and I kept yelling. After a bit, Eva joined in. As we yelled, louder and louder, we began to feel stronger. We glanced at each other and smiled, and yelled louder again. Suddenly, we were screaming at the top of our lungs, and the stone moved a bit more. As we kept yelling, it kept moving. Little by little, there was an opening big enough for us to leave though._

_It was strange, really. We had tried yelling before, but it hadn't worked… We didn't stop to think though, we just ran out of the cave as fast as we could. We didn't hesitate to think about what could be awaiting us on the other side – we just ran out as fast as we could. _

_We could feel the cool breeze on our faces; the fresh air filling our lungs; the dark night surrounding us… We got out just as the sun was setting, and the moon was rising. We looked around to see where we were… _

_We were greeted by a fairy… He was as all fairies, shorter than us – but he was much shorter… He was probably one of the shortest fairies. Unlike the other fairies, he didn't hold himself with confidence or arrogance. He looked nervous, and kept blushing when he looked at us. He kept glancing in all directions, as if afraid. I wonder if he had helped us by defying orders. Perhaps he wasn't supposed to help us, and that's why he was afraid. But we didn't think much of it. We just kept thanking and thanking him. _

_Unfortunately, we didn't have much time. He handed us a package, glanced both ways, and disappeared. We weren't sure what was going on, but we took the package, and sat down on nearby stones, wondering what to do. Suddenly, a gust of wind blew our way, and I swear we heard a voice say 'Go, go now!' Eva must have heard it as well, because she stood up at the same time as me. We had no idea where we were, or how to get out of the __Forest_, so we just chose a random direction and started walking.__

_The night was cold, and we were shivering in our uniforms. We hadn't brought our cloaks since we thought that we would get out. I tried to transfigure things into cloaks, but it wouldn't work. So I tried some other simple charms and spells to make it warmer, but nothing worked – no magic did. We were stranded in the middle of the __Forest__ clueless as to anything around us, and helpless without magic.  _

_Nevertheless, we kept going. We had gotten out of the cave, and we were bound to end up out of the __Forest__ eventually. So, ignoring the cold, we walked further and further in silence. We were dead scared though. The __Forest__ is, after all, filled with many dangerous creatures that we can't even dream of! And without magic, we had no ways to defend ourselves if we were to be attacked. We walked carefully, and as silently as possibly – perhaps nothing would attack us if we didn't bother anything._

_The only problem was that we were tired… It was late at night, and the little bit of moon that shone through the trees wasn't providing much light. We couldn't find our way back to the cave, and we didn't want to risk getting attacked while we slept. So, we decided to sleep in shifts until morning. _

_Eva's sleeping right now – how she can sleep so well in such circumstances amazes me. I offered that I would wake her up once I felt myself drifting off to sleep, but I'm as wide awake as ever. I haven't gotten much sleep lately, but I do know that once I get back to Hogwarts, I'm going to sleep and sleep for a long time… _

_I never appreciated how easy I had it before now. I always took my soft, warm bed for granted, but I would give anything to be in that bed now… Or to be in one of the cozy armchairs by the fire in the Common Room… Or to have a delicious meal in the Great Hall… I did find a few berries, but, I'm reluctant to try them – who knows what they can do to you. _

_I always hated going into the __Forbidden__ _Forest___… It's so eerie and unpredictable. The trees scare me the most, though. It sounds strange when you think about it, but, they're just so big and dark… They hide whatever lives in the __Forest__, and gives them protection. It seems that everything in the _Forest___ works together… They keep swaying in the wind, and their branches keep creaking… Oh, how I wish I was anywhere but here… There really is no place like home…_

_At least we haven't run into anything dangerous, yet. We've been really lucky so far to not have much trouble with anything but the fairies. It's making me uneasy though. I mean, when there are two vulnerable girls in a vast __Forest__, filled with dangerous creatures, you'd think that something would happen to them while they're walking… It's odd, really… It's quite unsettling. I keep getting the feeling that when something happens, it will be much bigger, and much worse than if little things happened along the way…_

_And I keep getting the feeling that we're being watched. It's hard to tell whether or not it's just my mind playing tricks on me since it's so dark all around me. It's as if there are eyes all over, watching my every move… It's just a matter of time before something strikes and we're rendered completely helpless. At least we've got the use of our legs to run, and we've got our minds… Sometimes the mind is the only weapon you need… But I can't help thinking that that's not enough…_

_What if we just keep walking and walking, and never getting out of the __Forest__? What if, no matter how hard we try, and how much we keep going, we just end up back where we started? I wonder… Has anyone come to look for us? Surly, they've noticed we're gone by now! We left on Saturday, and it's already Monday… Oh, we've missed a whole day of classes! I can't remember what we had today…_

_Oh, I don't know how we'll manage! We've just got out of the cave, and already it's not going that well… We're cold and hungry… And we're tired! We have such a long way to go! Wait, what if it was a trap? What if that fairy had been put up to it – and we've just been let out, only to be led into something much worse? What if it's Voldemort's doing? Oh, this is much worse than I though…_

_So much for having a wonderful adventure…_

**~*~**

_September 24th,_

_I've no idea how I'm living, and being able to keep going… I haven't gotten a wink of sleep in what seems like ages! Going without sleep for this long CAN'T be good for you… But I can't get to sleep, I just can't… I'm too scared… I envy Eva for that… She sleeps like a baby… Although, somehow, she's tired during the day – even though she's slept for so long!_

_Well, we did all we could do today – we walked. I woke up Eva as the sun was rising – we need as much time as we can get if we want to get back to Hogwarts anytime soon. At first, we didn't have much light because the trees kept blocking the light, but as the sun rose higher, and got stronger, it penetrated through the tree tops. _

_The __Forest__ is actually quite beautiful when it's so calm and lit… Everything looked so fresh and alive… There were flowers blooming, and other exotic plants all over the place… It really was quite gorgeous… It would have been a walk in the park had we not been so worried about what could happen and about getting back to Hogwarts… _

_Luckily, we didn't run into anything today. We had close encounters though! We were getting ready to stop and eat lunch, when we heard the skittering of many feet, and through all of the foliage, we saw giant spiders – as big as the fairies, and some even as big as us! I just couldn't move after I saw them! Thank goodness Eva was there to drag me away from there… If she hadn't been there, I don't know what I would have done…_

_As we were walking, I started wondering whether or not we were going in the right direction… After all, we had no idea where we were, and the __Forbidden__Forest__ was quite big… For all we knew, we could be headed further into the _Forest___ and just getting ourselves more lost. But, like all forests, the __Forbidden__ _Forest___ has to end somewhere – so, even if we're going the wrong way, we'll end up somewhere near civilization – hopefully. And, it shouldn't be that hard to get back to Hogwarts from somewhere else, right?_

_When it started to get dark, we decided that we may as well stop. At least with the light we could see where we were going and see if anything was in our way. So, we found a spot that looked safe enough, and lit a fire. _

_It seemed like we just noticed that package from the fairy as we sat down. You'd think we would notice it sooner though… Ah well. We weren't sure whether or not we should open it – after all, who knew what could be in it? But, we decided that we may as well open it… Something of help might be in there… And am I glad we did! There were 2 large blankets, a compass, a lantern, a loaf of bread, a bottle of water, 2 cloaks, and a necklace. I could swear that those blankets and cloaks are bewitched; but then again, it IS from a fairy… They're so warm, and they're lifesavers since it's getting so cold out! We didn't eat much bread since who knew how long we would be stuck in the __Forest__, but, it was simply heavenly! It was so soft and sweet… Truly the bread of fairies! The water was normal water, unless I'm mistaken. _

_The lantern is quite useful indeed – we decided to go on a bit further since we could use the lantern to light our way a bit. We didn't get far, but, it's better than nothing. The compass is wonderful as well, but, the only problem is that we don't know which way the castle is or anything. We decided to just head North; it would lead us out of the __Forest__ no matter what, and, we had a feeling that North was the right way… _

_Now, the necklace confused us a bit. After all, what would we need a necklace for if we're stuck in the middle of the __Forbidden__Forest__? But, nevertheless, we kept it anyways. We decided that I should wear it, since, whenever Eva tried to put it on, but the clasp wouldn't close around her neck. Perhaps it has some magical powers that will help us along the way, but, it looks like a common necklace. Then again, magic can be found in places you least expect…_

_Well, Eva's sleeping again. She was a bit worried when I told her that I would stay guard the whole night again. She said that I should get some sleep; but I told her that I was fine and not tired at all – which is the truth. Last night, I felt so afraid to be awake and vulnerable in the dark __Forest__, but, tonight I felt fine – I suppose I'm getting used to the _Forest___. The noises don't scare me much anymore, and, I can tell what they are. The trees still frighten me, but, I'm able to forget about them…_

**~*~**

_September 25th,_

**-**

**Afternoon**

**-**

_With the rising of the sun, I felt a burst of energy inside me. I had a feeling about today – I knew we were going to get somewhere! Eva got up quite early and, though she felt tired, she was ready to face whatever the Forest wanted to throw our was as well._

_So, with thoughts of Hogwarts and our return on our minds; and the compass in my hand; we packed up our things and headed North. _

_The __Forest__ was eerily calm and silent in the morning… The only noise was of the wind blowing ever so softly. There was something unsettling about the placidity of everything. Eva didn't seem to care one bit… But it wasn't right… I may not be an expert on the __Forbidden__Forest__, but, something didn't feel right…_

_There were no obstacles blocking our path, and we got a lot of ground covered in a short amount of time. That disturbed me as well. It was easy – too easy. On every other occasion that I've entered the __Forest_, something has interfered with whatever we were doing… But today – nothing. It just wasn't right…__

_We did find another cave though. We were quite reluctant to go in it, but, something seemed to be pushing us to go into the cave and examine it. It was quite a fairly small cave – about the size of the one we were trapped in. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary in it. Except… There was a stone; a large stone that resembled a table. And on it, there was a book. It was old and musty; and covered in dust – no one had touched it in what seemed like a long time. I don't know why I did it, but, as we were leaving the cave, I slipped the book into our package – perhaps it will be useful. The writing on the cover was faded, and I couldn't make it out without more light. _

_Although, from the moment that I touched the book, to the moment I let go of it as it was placed in the package, it seemed like the necklace from the fairies glowed… It was only for a split second, but, I could swear that it glowed… It was probably only my imagination, but, I can't help but wonder… Why would touching a book make it glow?_

_Eva didn't notice that I took the book since she was already out of the cave and waiting for me to come out. We walked a bit more until we came to a clearing. It was similar to the one where we had been captured by the fairies, but, it couldn't be that one. The clearing was quite small, and surrounded by trees. The grass was green, and looked as if nothing had ever set foot on it. And, unless I'm mistaken, there were several Bowtruckles surrounding us in the trees. _

_Needless to say, we ran through the clearing and kept going. Although, something about that clearing seemed familiar – I felt like I'd been there before… The only time I'd ever gone into the __Forbidden__Forest__, was back in Fifth Year to do an assignment for Care of Magical Creatures… But, it couldn't be the same clearing, could it? Well, if it was, then that meant we were close to Hogwarts. I decided to keep the information to myself. Mainly, because I had snuck out on my own to go, and because I didn't want to give Eva a false sense of hope… If I turned out to be wrong, it would be easier for us to move on…_

_A bit after that clearing, we stopped for lunch since we were getting hungry. We ate some of the bread, which boosted up our energy and filled us up. We drank some water as well, but, it didn't do anything… I don't know why I was expecting it to… _

_We've decided to take a little rest – we've been walking for a long time, and the only times we've stopped have been to sleep or just now, to eat lunch. Eva's taking a nap, and, I told her I would stand guard once more. She was too tired to object, and fell right to sleep._

_I decided to try some magic once more, just to see if maybe it was working again – it was! I knew we had to be close to Hogwarts now! Although, I wish I knew why it was malfunctioning last time… So, I shrank our package to make it fit in my pocket, and decided to levitate Eva so that she could sleep, and we could get a bit closer to Hogwarts. I knew we were close – I could feel it!_

**-**

**Evening**

**-**

_Well, we made it! I knew we would! Everyone was so happy that we were back – and they were all so worried while we were gone!! I'm just so happy that we made it back safe and sound. Let me start from the beginning…_

_Eva woke up not long after I started levitating her. It was much easier to carry on since levitation takes quite a bit of energy out of you… Easy it is, but it still drains power. She didn't bother asking why I had levitated her, or where the package was. She was quite happy that magic was working though. Although, it didn't really help her since she had left her wand back at Hogwarts. _

_Knowing that we had magic back on our side, we felt more confident in reaching Hogwarts safely. After walking for several hours, and covering lots of ground, we started to catch glimpses of the majestic castle that is Hogwarts. We knew we were on the right track, and so we started to run. We kept seeing more and more of Hogwarts, and it kept getting closer and closer. Every time we got a peek at Hogwarts, we ran faster, and as we ran faster, we got more excited – we were almost there!_

_Finally, we were there. We reached Hogwarts. It never felt so good to be at Hogwarts. As soon as we stepped out of the __Forbidden__Forest__, we couldn't believe it. We had been through so much in those four days in the __Forbidden__Forest__, and now we were finally back! We started screaming for joy and jumping up and down while hugging each other. We must have been quite loud and caused quite a commotion, because several people started coming out of the castle to see what was going on. _

_Soon, it seemed like everyone was outside surrounding us, and telling us how relived they were that we were back. People we didn't even know were coming up to us and saying how happy they were, and giving us hugs. It felt so wonderful! After a while, though, people started clearing away and heading off to go back to whatever they had been doing. Then, it was just Dumbledore, Professor McGonagall, Professor Sprout, and us. It was hard to tell how they were feeling. One the one hand, they looked relieved that we were back all safe and sound; but on the other, they looked quite mad at our behaviour. _

_We got 20 points apiece taken off for our Houses, and each got a detention with our Head of House for one night. They let us go after giving us a stern lecture about never wandering off again. _

_We went our separate ways; Eva headed to the Hufflepuff Common Room, while I went to __Gryffindor__Tower__. We quickly said goodbye and hugged before going. This wasn't an adventure that we were soon to forget._

_As soon as I entered the Common Room, everyone started to surround me trying to hug me and talk to me. After everyone had gotten a hug, and gotten a chance to tell me how happy they were to see me again, everyone calmed down. Someone called out asking me what had happened and where I had been. Everyone was curious and wanted to know, so, they all quieted down while I started to tell my story._

_I told them about everything, and it took a good long while to go through everything – it had taken 4 days after all. No one could believe what had happened, and everyone was just so relieved that I had made it back. I'm so happy to be back as well. Someone started a party which I knew would last well into the morning. I managed to slip out very early – I don't think that I can pull another all-nighter. _

_As I was getting ready for bed, I noticed the package in my pocket. I charmed it all back to regular size, and decided to look through the book and see what it was about. It took me a long time to make out anything, and once I did, I couldn't make heads or tails of it! It must have been written in another language. I was too tired to really concentrate on it as well. I've decided to examine it more thoroughly tomorrow after classes – if I have time that is – I have two days to catch up on._

_I decided to pack everything up before I went to bed, and then I noticed my gifts. I had put them in the bag and long since forgotten about them – it was time I saw what I had gotten for my birthday. I decided to open Harry's first. And you wouldn't believe what he had gotten me – a nice book. At least it's an interesting book – it's the most recent version of Hogwarts, a History. It should be quite a good read to see how they've updated it…_

_At least Ron didn't get me a book. I've no idea how he managed to afford it… It was a necklace… It was a fine gold chain – pure gold, not imitation! And there was a lovely charm in the shape of a heart. The heart was a gorgeous red with a tiny flower on the side of it. I think that the center of the flower is a tiny diamond, but, I might be mistaken… On the back of the heart, in flowing gold script, it says 'Love always, Ron.' It's such a beautiful piece of jewellery, and it looks so expensive… How could Ron ever afford it?! And why did he spend so much on me? He didn't have to get me something so elegant… I've decided to wear it everyday though – it's so exquisite! _

_It was strange though… I was trying to take of the fairy necklace, but it wouldn't let me – the clasp seemed to be stuck. I tried to magic it open, but, it wouldn't work. I was too tired to do anything else about it – I'll look at it tomorrow as well. Besides, there's nothing wrong with wearing two necklaces, right?_

_I couldn't find the other gift – the anonymous one. It's probably buried somewhere underneath my books, but, I'm too tired to look for it right now… It won't matter if I look at it tomorrow, I'm sure…_

**~*~**


	9. Chapter 9

**Underneath it All**  
  
**A/N :** I decided to finish off all of September for you guys. =) It's quite long because of that, but, consider it a Christmas present. ; ) And you know what I want for Christmas? Reviews!! Lolz. Anyways. Sorry it's up a bit late, but, what with it being Christmas and it being the longest chapter, it took a bit longer. Enjoy! =) I hope you all had a very merry Christmas!! And have a happy new year as well!! And to all those who don't celebrate Christmas – Happy Kwanzaa, happy Hannukah… Happy Holidays everybody!! =) Oooh, and, for Christmas, I got my computer moved to my room with wireless, so, I can write a lot more because I don't have to go to the basement to write it or upload it! =) That means more chapters and better ones… If I get inspiration, just turn on the computer and write – no need to go to the basement anymore!! =) Yay!! Lolz. Anyways. Sorry for the long AN, but, I just felt like sharing. =) Feel free to do so in reviews. =)  
  
**DISCLAIMER : All characters and places are brought to you by JK Rowling - not me.**  
  
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                **_Now we begin..._**

**__**

_September 26th,_

_Thank goodness we didn't get too much homework today! Almost all of our lessons were practical – and the professors decided not to give us any homework apart from practicing - which is wonderful since I have so much to catch up on!_

_Eva and I missed 3 days worth of classes!! I still can't believe how irresponsible we were by straying so far from Hogwarts… At least we found our way back to Hogwarts safely. And the professors didn't give too much homework over those 3 days - thanks goodness! All I had to do was practice the 'Deliquesco Charm' and explain how to perform it and give examples of situation where it can be used. There were a few simple Runes translations that I finished quite easily as well. In Transfiguration we read up on human transfiguration which we're going to be starting soon – good thing I already read up on is back in Fourth Year during the TriWizard Tournament. I was really curious as to how it worked after Viktor used it on himself. The rest of the classes only had several short answer questions; and in Potions, we got time to work on a new project. Snape decided that we have to write about, brew, and then explain the consequences of the 'Occaeco Potion.' What luck – it's the potion that I brewed to sneak into Diagon Alley! And he's giving us quite a bit of time since it's such a large project…_

_After classes, Harry was holding a Qudditch practice and he invited me to go by and watch for a bit. I really didn't have to time though; it's such a shame since he said the team was playing quite well, and he wanted my opinion on it. Why he wanted my opinion I've no idea – I don't know the first thing about Quidditch! Then again, I suppose it was just an excuse – everyone's keeping tabs on me since they're worried I'll wander off again. It's nice that they care and that I always have something to do, but it's a tad annoying that they don't think they can't trust me…_

_I spent nearly the whole day in the Library working on assignments – especially the Potions one. I already know how to make it, and I know all of the components of it. I just need to study it a bit more carefully and write it all up – when I first made it, I wasn't really learning all about it, I was just making it. And brewing it should be easy enough as well. I heard we're going to have to test it ourselves, and it has to last for exactly 5 minutes if we want to pass. It shouldn't be too difficult to finish._

_I didn't get as much work done at the Library as I expected… Perhaps it's because Lavender and Parvati had decided to follow me there and kept gossiping and trying to involve me in their little gossip session. I always thought that their little chats were innocent, but they can be quite catty when they want to be! They were discussing boys, and some point system they must have dreamed up. They kept comparing boys – saying which ones they wanted to go out with and which ones they would never even dream of going out with. It was quite rude – they were just judging them on materialistic values, and on their appearance! Not a word on personality… And that's the most important part of it all!_

_Apparently, Harry and Draco are the most "eligible bachelors Hogwarts has ever seen." They're both rich, good at Quidditch, have great bodies, and are the most intriguing since no one can really have them… Well, except for Harry and Cho, but, that was last year… And Harry even said that he regretted it. Oh, but, it wouldn't have been that bad to hear them rave about Seamus' sense of humor, or, Justin's amazing hair… It's just that they said some down-right rude comments as well! _

_Take Neville for example – he was one of the boys that they would never want to go out with! And I find that terrible pathetic – he is one of the nicest people I know! Well, I say, good that they don't want to go out with him, he can do much better than them! They said that since he's a tad pudgy and forgetful they wouldn't want to be seen with him. It just bothers me so much! They think that all he can do well is forget things! But he has so many wonderful qualities about him! He's excellent in Herbology, and he's a wonderful cook as well. Oh, and he can draw quite well too! I've seen some of his rough sketches, and they're amazing! I just wish that they would see that… There's more to him than not having a perfect body and being forgetful…_

_I just couldn't take listening to their tactless comments, so, I just left. I really needed a walk around the grounds – I needed some fresh air to help clear my head. Was that what the world was like? Was their no chance for wonderful boys like Neville because they weren't outstanding Quidditch players? Were the only boys that would ever be happily married be athletic and rich? If that's the case then I want no part in it! It's disgusting how the world seems to revolve around money and athleticism… Whatever happened to being smart or nice? Don't those things count for anything anymore?!_

_It just all makes me so mad that everyone is like that! And it's not just Parvati and Lavender… Sometimes, I hear Harry and Ron doing it as well! And I can't help but overhear when I'm walking by if people are doing that… It's pathetic how people like Neville are treated… I mean, he's practically shunned by everyone because of that. Sure, the boys include him, but, when it comes to sports like Quidditch, then they just shun him as well. And there's no point in him even trying with the girls! They just give each other a "look" before telling him that they were in the middle of something…   
  
_

_It made my heart break when he had to resort to asking Ginny to the Yule Ball back in Fourth Year! He had asked almost all of the girls in our year and had received countless rejections… I wished I hadn't had to add to that list, but, I had already accepted Viktor's invitation. Although, I think that I may have had more fun with Neville… Viktor was very polite and a wonderful dancer, but, I just didn't have that much fun with him – and it didn't help that Ron kept assuming we were going out… _

_Well, I won't take it anymore! I refuse! If I hear someone talking about that silly point system, or putting someone down, then they'll hear from me! It's down-right rude and stupid of them! How dare they?! I mean, who do they think they are – they have no right to judge people like that!! It's awful how they can do this, and how they don't even care if they're hurting someone's feelings!_

_The walk really helped me clear my head though… Although, I had to pass by Ron and Harry as they were discussing girls in our year and comparing them and commenting on them. I swear, I felt like strangling them!! They still haven't forgotten about Eloise Middgeon's acne… She had that back in Fourth Year, and it wasn't even that bad! Honestly, it took all of my will power to just walk by them without exploding at them…_

_I'm just so frustrated that that's how everyone acts around here!! They say that those who gossip with you, gossip about you… Well, does that mean that everyone talks about me behind MY back? And, there's no doubt about it, but, what do they say? Do they make fun of my love for books and school? Do they make fun of how bushy my hair is? What OTHER things do they say, that I've no idea of? _

_I've never really cared what other people have thought of me before, but, I don't know… I just don't like the thought that people actually do talk about me behind my back… And now I want to know what they say. But there's no way of knowing! They obviously won't talk about me if I'm there, and, I can't ask someone else, because they won't tell me the negative things that they say… The only way, would be to become invisible… That's it! When I brew the 'Occaeco Potion,' I'll make a little bit extra, and use it… _

_Oh, but, how can I be sure that they're talking about ME? How can I know that someone is even going to talk about people? … Hah! It's just not a day unless Lavender and Parvati have one of those talks… But spying on them? They're supposed to be my friends… Oh, but I just have to know what people say about me! But, do I really want to hear it from them? I mean, they have a tendency to be quite heartless when they do that… I can handle it… If what they say is the worst, then, at least I'll know what most people TRULY think of me._

_On another topic, I finally got around to opening that anonymous gift. I love it! You see, it's a book, but, not… It's hollow – you can keep things in it. And the cover looks like the cover of Hogwarts, a History. It's as if, whoever sent it knew that I liked it, and that no one else read it… It's a bit scary to think that someone knows me that well, and I've no clue as to who they are… _

_Anyways.__ In the hollow part of the "book," there was a small box. Inside the box, there was the prettiest bracelet that I've ever seen! It's a silver chain with emerald beads on it - they seem to be tied onto a certain spot. And in the space between those beads, there were tiny beads made out of pink diamonds. The bracelet is simply gorgeous! I put it on my wrist, and it fit perfectly… I just couldn't stop looking at it! I wonder who got it for me… And why would they send it anonymously? It's beautiful, and must have been very expensive… You'd think that they would want me to know who they were…_

_Well, it's only about __9 o'clock__ right now, but, I really need to get some sleep. I haven't gotten a decent night's sleep in a long time… If only it was the weekend… I could sleep in…_

**~*~**

_September 27th,_

_It was so nice to get a good night's sleep! I was sleeping so soundly… I don't know how I woke up! My bed is just so comfortable, and it's so warm and cozy under the covers… I just didn't want to get out! Somehow, I managed. At least I wasn't late for classes like last week. It's bad enough that I'm behind, but, to be late as well! _

_We practiced the 'Festinatio' Charm for the entire class in Charms. I got it down after about 3 tries – AND I used the 'Tardo' Charm to make sure that Ron wouldn't be running around all rushed until the charm wore off. Unfortunately, I wasn't so lucky… He must have over-done his charm, because I ended up running around the room. And since he over-did it, I was running too fast for them to counter the charm and make me go back to normal… Harry finally caught me and held onto me while Professor Flitwick fixed it. It's a nice charm if used properly – I should use it in the morning if I'm rushing around!_

_In Defense Against the Dark Arts, Professor Parlink decided to give us a surprise quiz… I think I did quite well in it. It was all about Dementors – we learned about those near the beginning of the year, and he wanted to test us to see what we had learned – and remembered! I didn't think that the quiz would be very long or difficult, but, it took almost the whole period to finish it! Then again, I was the last one to hand in the quiz… I just wanted to be sure that I had put down everything! After all, one mark can make the difference between an O and an E. _

_Now, I love Fridays – partly because it means that the weekend is coming up, and you have more time to relax and do whatever you want; and partly because I have an easy schedule there. The morning classes are wonderful – it would be all of my favourite classes if Transfiguration was there. But, the afternoon classes… They're wonderful classes, they're just not my favourite. _

_I always thought that it's the teacher that makes the class fun – not the class itself. Take Transfiguration – Professor McGonagall makes the classes go well, and she makes them interesting - and it's my favourite class! Then, take History of Magic… I love learning about history; I find it interesting. But, Professor Binns just gives us lectures about the wars and rebellions and everything… He never does anything new. And, it's not my favourite class because of that! Now, Potions… That's a class that I would like, had we had a different teacher. Snape just liked to make life miserable for the Gryffindors, and make it heaven for the Slytherins. So, that way, even if we do well, we can't appreciate it since he'll put a damper on it… _

_Unfortunately, I have both History of Magic and Potions on Friday afternoon's. Although, today, it seemed a bit… Different. Professor Binns was as dull as ever, but, the class seemed much more interesting today – even more so than the class back in Second Year when Professor Binns told us all about the Chamber of Secrets. Today, he was telling us about medieval times, and wizard royalty. It was really interesting to learn about it since it's so different from how life is now – and yet, it's the same. Let me try to explain… _

_You see, back in medieval times, there was still discrimination of the poor and the rich. But for the magical community, it was the pureblooded and the mudblooded and halfblooded. But you see, the pureblooded would become witch hunters, and when a witch was found, they would cast the Imperius Curse on them so that they would confess that they were magical. Then, they would use magic to destroy them… It's what made them rich since they were paid so well to find and capture witches. _

_And now, even though they don't burn witches at the stake, there is still discrimination. And instead of witch hunters, there's Voldemort and his deatheaters. So, it's like we're back in the middle ages, except that now it's worse because of the fact that we've evolved so much and have so many new spells and charms that can be used for torture. Of course, there are also spells and charms for protection, but, the two cancel each other out._

_Don't ask me why I found this class interesting, but, I've always thought that medieval times were interesting… Although, I'm glad that I don't live back then – life must have been quite difficult for those who weren't rich. And it seemed that the rich were always magical… Professor Binns told us some of the most rich and powerful magical families that were also witch hunters… One of them was the Malefoi family. Of course, names changed, and they became the Malfoys. Ironic, isn't it?_

_Although, I have noticed that discrimination hasn't been as severe and common as it used to be. Of course, the deatheaters still go around and torture the innocent, but, I mean here at Hogwarts. Why, I haven't been called a mudblood all year… But then again, it's just the end of September, so, there's still time for that. Although, I think that if I was to be called a mudblood by Draco, then, it would have happened sooner… After all, Snape assigned everyone seats, and I have my seat next to him…_

_Speaking of Potions, Snape gave us time in class to work on our project. He said that it would be due October 2nd – 5 day's time. I've finished everything but brewing the potion and describing the brewery since I finished up everything else in the class time we got. I finished up the brewing and description after Potions – it was my last class of the day. It wasn't that difficult, seeing as how I've brewed it before… But that will be my little secret, won't it?_

_I know that today is Friday, and that nobody goes to sleep early on Fridays, but, I really need to catch up on my sleep. I mean, one day of good sleep just isn't enough to make up for the time in the __Forest__. And, since tomorrow is Saturday, I can sleep in… Now, I hate sleeping in, but, I think that I can make an exception this once. You see, sleeping in, I find, isn't good for you. You get accustomed to waking up late over the weekend, and then, when it's back to classes, it's harder for you to get up early. It's also annoying… I feel like I've missed out on so much if I sleep in. I mean, you have the whole day ahead of you, and to waste it by sleeping when you could be outside having fun? But, my biological clock will wake me up once I've had enough sleep… But I'm only doing it this once – just this once._

_Well, if I want to get enough sleep, I'd better get ready for bed now…_

**~*~**

_September 28th,_

**-**

**Evening – Sunset **

**-**

_I have never, ever, slept so late in my life… Everyone was surprised when I finally woke up! I thought that I would only sleep until __9 o'clock__ – the latest! I actually thought it was only __9 o'clock__ at first… No one was in the Common Room, so, I figured that they had all gone down to the Great Hall for breakfast. They were in the Great Hall… For lunch!! _

_I came down, stretching, rubbing my eyes, and sort of struggling to stay awake. I saw everyone fully-dressed, chatting energetically, and all wide-awake. As I said before, I thought that it was only __9 o'clock__, but, when everyone saw me – let's just say they were surprised. I mean, picture this…_

_It's the middle of the day, and you're eating lunch in the Great Hall. Then, in the middle of your meal, someone comes down all tired and trying to stay awake - someone who is usually the first person up and who complains about sleeping in. Wouldn't YOU be a little bit shocked?_

_Everyone told me that they had thought that I was in the Library and that I had already eaten. It's nice to know that my friends are so wonderful that they bothered to check if I was there or now. For all they knew, I could have been being held hostage by a pack of vampires high atop a mountain in __Peru__!! But since it's me, I was probably in the Library… Honestly!! I didn't bother to stay to eat; I didn't feel like being around people who cared so much about me. I mean, it really IS a lot of trouble to go the few steps to the Library to see if I'm there. I really do understand how difficult it is to look for a friend. Honestly… I do hope you noticed the sarcasm in this. _

_I lost my appetite, and decided to head to the Library… But then I had second thoughts. That's where they ASSUMED I would be – but why should I go there! So, I stopped by the Kitchens and got some food to eat, and quickly stopped by in the Common Room to get a blanket, a book, and my diary, and then I decided to head up to the roof – no one would think to look for bookwork know-it-all Hermione there! _

_So, here I am on the roof. I long ago abandoned the book… It turned out that I've read it several times before, and have it memorized. I've just been sitting here and thinking really. There's just so much to think about lately… There are so many changes going on… That is to say, unless it's always been that way, and I'm just realizing it now… Whichever it is, I don't really like it… I know that change is good, but, that doesn't stop me from liking it. Why can't I just be a little kid again… Just on my way to Hogwarts, or even before then! Life was so much easier when I was younger… Everything was much simpler and easier to solve. _

_And I've really been doubting my friendships with people lately. I mean, if they can't even go to the trouble to go and see if I'm in the Library and check if I'm OK, then what does that tell me? Do they even care about me at all? I wonder if they're noticed that I'm gone again. They probably think I'm in the Library or something. Of course they won't check… It's me, where else would I be? _

_Now, I'm not asking to be surrounded by people all the time that I don't have a moment to myself, but, it would be nice if my "friends" would at least CHECK where I was and see if I'm alright… I wonder… How long did it take them to discover that I WASN'T in the Library when I was really in the __Forbidden__Forest__? Did they even go out to look for me, or, did they just sit around together, HAPPY that I was gone; convincing themselves that I was in the Library and out of their hair… _

_Oh, if only I knew! At least now I have a plan. But, I just can't stand to be around them right now. So, I'm now going to put my plan into action just yet… I think I'll wait a bit until I cool down, and maybe next weekend or something when everyone will conveniently assume that I'm in the Library…_

_I don't know how long I've been up on this rooftop, but, no one has bothered to come look for me yet. You know what I've just realized… It wouldn't be that hard to find me. I mean, Harry has the Marauder's Map which would show where I was. And that just makes it even worse! How difficult and time-consuming can it be to look at a piece of parchment to check if I'm in the Library. It would show them exactly where I was… They would check for someone else, but not for me… After all, I wouldn't go anywhere but the Library or the Common Room because I have nothing better to do than read books or do homework! _

_I wonder if I should go back inside now. I mean, the sun is going to set in a few minutes, and it's going to get pretty dark… No! No, you know what, I WON'T go! Let them find me! I want to see if they care about me! The cold and darkness is nothing that a simple spell can't fix. And I still have food leftover from what I took from the Kitchens, so, I'll be fine up here… Alone…_

_Is that how I'm meant to be? Am I meant to live my life alone, with only the company of books? Am I going to live the rest of my life with "friends" that don't care what happens to be? Am I going to be alone? All alone… Am I going to have to face everything all alone, with no one by my side to help me or support me? Is loneliness the only future there is for me? Because if it is, then, that's a whole lot to look forward to…_

_There's no sign of anyone yet… No one has come to look for me… I suppose that everyone is sitting down to dinner, thinking that I got lost in a book in the Library and will probably go to the Common Room late… I wonder if they'll look for me after they've realized I'm not on the Library – that is to say, IF they realize it… _

_Oh! The sun is setting right now… It's gorgeous!! Almost as much so as the sunrise! It's going to be completely dark soon… Maybe I should just head back. I've already proved to myself that they obviously don't care what's happening to me… But, what if they do? What if they're looking for me now? Well, if they are, I'm sure I'll hear about it when I see them, right? And I can just tell them that I was in the Library the whole time…_

_Oh, but I hear footsteps… I wonder who it is…_

**-**

**Late night**

**-**

_Well, I was found by someone who I would never expect – Pansy Parkinson! Although, she told me that it was an accident that she found me, and that she hadn't been looking for me. She made it quite clear that no one was. It seems that she likes to go up there after sunset so that she can have some time to think and get away from everyone. It's strange, isn't it, how two people so different can be so similar?_

_Pansy stayed on the roof for quite some time with me… We left quite late – the moon was out and the stars were shining by the time we started to get up off the roof. For the most part, we sat there just looking out and leaving the other with their thoughts, but, ever so often, one of us would say something, and it would spark a conversation that would end with someone staring off into space after a comment… _

_We had quite a few lovely conversations… She doesn't like the mould that everyone has put her in – as a skanky girl who will do anything for attention and that is obsessed with Draco Malfoy. Pansy says that she's not like that, just that people have given her that reputation for several things she has done, and that she hasn't been able to get rid of it. _

_I always thought of Pansy like that – and as a rude, selfish, spoiled rich girl, but, she really is quite nice if you take the time to actually speak to her… She always thought of me as a snobbish, know-it-all, who always had her nose in a book. Well, at least I know what some people think of me… Although, before we left, we both agreed that underneath it all, no one was what everyone thought they were… Underneath it all, everyone is someone different._

_Now, the thing that I like about Pansy, is that she's bluntly honest. Now, I'm not saying that that is a great thing, but, I quite liked how she was so direct about everything – it made talking to her much easier than say Ginny. Ginny's the type that's nice to people, and doesn't like to hurt feelings. And that's a good thing at times, but, it makes conversation a bit difficult because of the fact that she wants everyone to be happy. _

_Ah well, everyone is different, and I still like both of them… Did I just say that I liked Pansy Parkinson?! Wow… I never though that I'd see that day… Me liking Pansy? It's amazing what one night of talking can do to destroy a reputation and to create a friend, or acquaintance from an enemy… It's strange, isn't it? I mean, it's the same thing with Draco… We were enemies, but, now we're, well, not. Same with Pansy. And they had always been rude to my and my little group of friends… But it just goes to show you that people can change. _

_On the first day of school, I had a feeling that it was going to be different this year. I felt that things would be changing, and that things would be happening. And now, it's only September, and already I've befriended two Slytherins whom I deeply disliked, and I've started doubting and drifting apart from my old friendships. I don't want to lose those friendships though… Even if they may be fake or with people who don't care about me, there is still some part of them that must like me for who I am – after all, I've known them since First Year, and I HAVE been friends with them…_

_No matter what, I don't want them out of my life. I want to have them there for me in the future, after Hogwarts. I want to keep contact with them. I want to know what's going on in their lives; and I want them to be part of my life. It's not going to be easy though… Especially if I keep doubting the sincerity of those friendships. _

_I've been told that I tend to over-analyze things a lot, and, I think that this is one of those things… Why can't I just accept the fact that they're my friends and that they accept and like me for who I am? I suppose it's not really my fault… I mean, when I was younger… No, I'd rather not think about that… I promised myself… I put it in the back of my mind, and it WILL stay there._

_Anyways…__ When Pansy and I finally went back into the castle, we went our separate ways – she to the Slytherin Common Room (I'm guessing) and me… Well, I just sort of wandered around a bit… Thank goodness I was because I remembered that I had Prefect duties tonight. So, I didn't get much sleep since I was going around making sure everything was in order and no one was out after hours. It gave me a lot of time to think since I was alone… I keep thinking that I was supposed to go around with someone else, but, I can't remember…_

_It's like my mind has been wiped of that – and I'm fine with that. I have time to myself to really reflect on the past month – especially recent events. I'm sure that I stayed out well past how long I had to. When I got to the Common Room, it was deserted, and everyone in my dormitory was sound asleep. I'd go to sleep, but, I just feel like writing in my diary at the moment… So much has happened, and I've still got the rest of the year to face! _

_  
I wonder what Hogwarts will throw at me next…_

**~*~**

_September 29th,_

_Ah, Sunday! Sunday's the day when everyone is rushing around to finish their homework well… It's times like these that I am truly happy that I finish my homework as soon as it's assigned – despite constant teasing from Ron and Harry. At least I don't have to worry about finishing up something well enough for it to be accepted. _

_Today, I decided that I would just take the day to relax. No more thinking about life, or friendships, or anything. I would just sit there, lazily, and chat with my friends, catch up with people, and help people with their homework. It was a good strategy, I must say. _

_After a late breakfast which became a brunch, I headed towards the Library to get myself a book to read – one that didn't require much thinking. It's not good if your brain is over-worked, after all. And besides, every once in a while, everyone deserves a break. I didn't really read that book though – everyone kept asking for help with a question or essay they needed to finish, so, I was just going around helping anyone who needed it. It's a great way to meek people, actually. People I just don't remember going to Hogwarts asked me for help – I met a great deal of new people. _

_Even though I went around helping, I stuck mostly with Ron and Harry. They were my first friends, and they had saved me from the troll back in First Year… Ever since then, we've been best friends. So, I decided to strengthen our friendship by just being there – we caught up on each other's summers and what's been going on lately. It was quite nice. I can't remember the last time we've just had a nice long chat in a while. I mean, we've had serious conversations, but, just a relaxing one? Not in a while…_

_It seemed that they had finished up most of their homework, and only had a bit to do today, so, after they finished, we went outside – it was quite nice, so, we decided that we may as well spend the day outside. We talked for nearly the whole day about everything… Nothing serious though, like Voldemort. Just simple things. We really ought to do it more often – it's amazing what a regular conversation with your best friends can do to you!_

_After dinner, we played a few games of Gobstones, Exploding Snap, and Chess. We didn't get to play long though – Ron and I had Prefect duties. So, leaving Harry with a Seamus and Dean, we headed out of the Portrait Hole to patrol the halls and just to keep chatting. Although, the conversation that I had with Ron was a bit more serious…_

_At first, we just kept talking about everyday things that we hadn't talked about with Harry, but, as it got later, we started talking more seriously. I don't know why, but, I opened up to Ron. I told him all about my life before Hogwarts, and he told me about his. I never knew how different we were… It's not just the fact that he's pureblooded and I'm a muggleborn, but, everything about us is different – I can't find one similarity. I suppose that's why we always have our petty little arguements.  _

_I thought that the night was going well and that we were really connecting, but, then I learned otherwise… I have the conversation stuck in my head – I've gone over it so many times, I'm sure that I'll never forget it… We were talking about how close everyone had grown over our time at Hogwarts, and Ron was starting to look at bit nervous – he was fidgeting, and looking around; he wasn't really focused on the conversation it seemed. So, I asked him if he was alright, and I could tell that he was thinking of what to say…_

_Finally, I suppose he found the right words, because he asked me how I felt about him. Now, that question confused me, and it really made me think. I didn't really understand what he meant – I loved him! He was my best friend, and, just recently, he became my boyfriend… Although, it's not different between us – we haven't had a chance to go out yet. I was considering telling him that I had always liked him THAT way, but, I don't know what made me keep my mouth shut… After a few moments, he answered me…_

_He told me… He told me that he thought we shouldn't be going out… He said that things were better when we were just friends… He said that he had thought he liked me that way, but that it turns out that those were just strong feelings of friendship… He told me that he was sorry, but that he just said that it didn't feel right… He said that he hoped we could still be friends… He said that it was silly if we threw away five years of friendship just like that…_

_I didn't know what to say, so, I just nodded… He looked relieved after he saw that, and said that it was good that I thought that too. Well, what did he expect me to say?! Did he expect me to say that he couldn't do that; that we were meant to be together and that I wouldn't let him?! All I could do was nod! _

_I still can't believe it… I mean, it was just out of the blue, it seemed! I wasn't prepared at all! And to think, that I was about to confess that I had been hiding my feelings since the day he had saved me from the troll! Oh diary! How could I have been so stupid! Why did I let my heart get the better of me?! Why didn't I just tell him that we should just be friends the day he asked me out!? Why did I let myself get so caught up and happy in the fact that he returned my feelings?! Why didn't I realize that it could have been a mistake?! Why didn't I think it through!!_

_But it's too late now… I can't believe that I was so naïve to think that he would return my feelings, and that we would be together forever?! What happened to the logical part of me?! Why did love have to blind me so much… If only… And he expects us to go back to being friends! Just like that! It's as if it was never supposed to happen… Just a dream… That's what it was… It was a dream; a foolish dream. And believe me, if I could turn back time and stop it from happening, then I would!_

_They say that it's better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all, but, I beg to differ. Whoever said that, obviously never experienced heart break… They never had to hear from the boy they loved that he only wanted to be friends. They didn't have to feel their heart shattering into a million pieces… They never had to deal with it… They were probably happily married their whole life with the same person that they fell in love with when they were 5 years old. _

_Well they're wrong. It would have been better if this had never happened! Even though nothing really happened, the fact remains that he asked me out, and then changed his mind… I had my chance, and I lost it… There was no hope anymore for us… There would never be a Ron and Hermione Weasley… He was the one boy who I had a chance with – but not anymore._

_I suppose that I can always move into some dilapidated, old shack with a million cats and throw them at people who come near me… I already have Crookshanks… _

**-**

**Midnight******

**-**

_I left my diary… The memory is still fresh in my mind, and I just had to go to the bathroom and cry. After Ron told me, I told him I had to go… I got my diary, and went to the bathroom. This page is covered in tear stains… I couldn't take it anymore… The prospect of having the future as a crazy old cat lady just made me breakdown. _

_But I'm OK now. I've cried enough for one night. Ron isn't worth all these tears… And yet, as I write this, I'm still crying… Why is it that my heart doesn't understand what I'm trying to tell it! It's over with him – I messed up my chance, and there's no use crying over it – it won't change anything. But no, I just keep crying… The tears just won't stop._

_Well, I can't go back to my dormitory all in tears – I refuse to let anyone see how weak I am. All my life, I've worked hard to show everyone how strong and independent I am. I won't let Ron and that whole thing ruin that. Once I finish crying, that's it. I'll go to my dormitory, and I won't shed another tear for him again. Why should I? He doesn't deserve it!_

_Although, it might be easier if I was surrounded by my friends…__ I mean, they might be able to comfort me, and, it's not like they'll never find out that Ron and I aren't going out again… They'd like it more if I told them myself; instead of them hearing it as gossip… _

_Then again, what if they just laugh at me? Or, what if they just think I'm some pathetic little girl that can't handle anything because I broke down and cried after he dumped me? Oh… Skinned knees were so much easier to heal than broken hearts!_

**~*~**

_September 30th,_

_Well, I ended up going to the dormitory… Only Lavender was awake – she was finishing up a Divination assignment. Although, she dropped it the moment she heard me come into the dormitory sniffling and trying to stifle my cries. Right away, she came to me and took me to her bed, sat me down all comfortable, and just hugged my while I cried. After I stopped crying so much, she asked me what had happened, and why I was crying._

_So, I told her. Maybe it was the fact that she was comforting me, and making me feel all safe and loved that I spilled out the entire story… I told her everything – how I liked him since back in First Year, up until just mere hours ago when he broke my heart. She sat there and listened patiently while I told my story between new fits of tears… Perhaps it wasn't such a good idea to go over everything so soon, but, I'm glad I did._

_Lavender didn't say anything; she didn't laugh or cry or yell… She just sat there, in thought, and kept hugging me and telling me that it would be OK. Honestly, when Lavender has children, she's going to be an amazing mother. _

_We stayed up all night long just sitting there and talking after I calmed down. She used a spell to get rid of the tearstains on my face, and the red around my eyes. I think she did a quick spell to fix my hair as well because it looked quite nice afterwards. She really is quite good at spells like that – they're quite useful, and, most people use them everyday.   
  
_

_Anyways.__ She didn't tell anyone, and neither did I, but, somehow, everyone knew what had happened the night before. I heard several versions of it, and underneath all of the added bits, it was exactly what had happened. Harry came up to me during breakfast to see if I was OK. I put on a smile, and said that I was fine; never better. I don't know if he believed me, but, he didn't say anything apart from telling me to meet him in the __Astronomy__Tower__ after classes._

_I was in a daze all through classes… Nothing really got to me. It was as if everything went in one ear and out the other. I kept telling myself to snap out of it and concentrate, but, it wasn't working. At least I got all of the notes from other people since I always gave them mine. They were a bit surprised when I asked, but, they all knew what had happened so they understood why I had asked for their notes. I just hope I stop acting like this soon – I can't afford being like this much longer if I want to do well and keep up my good marks. _

_After classes were finished, Lavender said that she would be in Professor Trelawney's classroom if I needed her, but, no matter how much I would need her, I promised myself that I would never set foot in that fraud's classroom ever again. Since Astronomy was my last class of the day, I just stayed there. I sort of, just, sat there not really paying attention to anything. _

_I didn't even notice that Harry walked in until he tapped me on my shoulder and asked if I was alright. I was sick of everyone asking me that; and I was sick of always plastering on a smile and saying that I was fine. Besides, this was Harry – and, even though he was a guy, he would understand… So I burst into tears. I swear that I heard him sigh and mutter that he knew it under his breath before he wrapped his arms around me in a hug. I don't know how long I sat there crying in his arms, but, he just sat there patiently, occasionally telling me that it would be alright and that I would get through it._

_After I finally stopped crying, Harry wiped away the last of my tears, and looked me in the eye. He held my face in his hand, and told me that I would be OK. He said that I was strong, and that it wouldn't be hard for me to get back on track. He kept telling me things like that, but I tuned out. I was too busy staring into his eyes – they were almost hypnotic… They're so green, and you could so easily get lost in them. But his voice snapped me back into reality._

_He sighed again, and hugged me again. This time, I didn't cry. I just leaned on his chest, and thought about Ron and what Harry had said. He was right – I was strong, and I would be able to get through it. It wasn't the end of the world… After all, when one door closes, another opens. And I had been so busy moping, that I hadn't been looking for that door. _

_Harry kept holding me for a while like that. But before he left, he told me something that I'm going to carry with me everywhere I go. He said that if I wanted the rainbow, I had to put up with the rain. In my life, I've heard many quotes and proverbs, and until then, I had always felt strongly about every cloud having silver lining, but upon hearing that one, I changed my mind. It was true. _

_I was done crying and moping – it was time to get on with my life. I'm going to have to deal with things much worse than this in my life, and if I want to be happy, then I'm going to just have to get through them as best as I can. And the only way to do that, is to just try and live as normally as possible. _

_If Ron wants to be just friends, then fine. He can have that. We've been best friends for a long time, and I'm not about to throw that away because of that. It's going to be hard, but Harry's right – I'm strong and I will do this._

_I don't know how long I sat there reflecting upon what Harry had said, but, I soon got up, and decided to go and have fun. I would have liked to go outside for a walk or run around having fun, but, since it was raining, I couldn't really do that… But then again, what was a little rain? That wasn't going to stop me… I decided to go outside and breath fresh air. No one else was outside; everyone was inside by a warm fire. So, I felt fine running around and screaming. Thank goodness no one saw me though, that would have been too much for me to handle._

_I was soaked to the bone, but I wasn't ready to go inside yet. The rain wasn't falling as hard as it had been before… Call me crazy, but, I think that the weather was portraying my mood. I was sad and moping, and it was raining. As I was getting happier and getting over the fact that there would never be a Ron and Hermione, the rain started to let down, and the sun started to come out. _

_I would wait outside until I saw a rainbow. Once I saw that rainbow, I would know that I was fine – I would be able to move on. I know that that sounds crazy, but, I don't care. I walked around, and thought about everything that I had going for me. I have wonderful friends, I'm doing well in school… I have a bright future ahead of me! There's no reason to let something so small hold me down._

_Then I began to think about the next door… My door with Ron had closed, but, that just meant that there was someone out there better for me… Now, I just needed to find them, or did I? Who said that I needed a boy to be happy? I can be perfectly happy and fine without one. I'm only 16!! I have my whole life ahead of me to date people. I may as well just enjoy what I had left of my time as a child before I had to take on the responsibilities of adults and go out into the real world. It was then that I decided to make a pact to myself. I promised myself that, no matter what, I would never sink so deep into depression or sadness. I would always push that aside and be happy. After all, you only live once – but if you live it right, once is enough._

_I promised myself that I would never take anything for granted, and that I would always look for the good things… Even when times seem at their worst, there is always something, no matter how small, that can make it seem a bit brighter. It will be your salvation when times are dark, and it seems like there is no hope. And I promise that I will always find that salvation. After all, it's the little things that make the difference._

_I believe that everything in life has a purpose. Though I may not know the purpose of what happened between me and Ron today, tomorrow, or even in 10 years. The purpose will be revealed to me when the time is right. Everything that happens, happens for a reason. And there was a reason for this. I'm not going to dwell on finding it out – I'm just going to go out and live my life – let it find me. Why worry about things that I can't control?_

_It was at that moment that the rain stopped. The sun started the pop out from behind the clouds, and the biggest, most vibrant rainbow I have ever seen came out. I was at peace. I was fine – I could get through this all. I can face anything that the world throws at me! So, go ahead life, give me your next challenge, and I'll get through it. I'll pass your next test with flying colours!_

_All my life, I've thought that I was living – but I wasn't. I wasn't living – truly living. Life is what happens when you're too busy making other plans. I've wasted 16 years of my life not living… The worst part of life isn't that it's over so soon; it's that it takes so long to truly live. I'm glad that I've figured that out though…_

_Who knew that something so simple as being dumped can make such a drastic change on someone? Who knew, that someone so small as a rainbow could have such an affect? _

_I'm so happy that I've finally realized this. Now I can truly being living. I don't know how much time I have left on this earth, but, I do know that I'm going to make the most of it. This is MY life, and from now on, I'm going to be happy._

_I feel so free. Once I saw that rainbow, I felt so free. I was finally released from the chains that held me back from living. Now, I could soar in the sky and fly freely. I'm free… Free from the clutches of fear and self-consciousness. Free from the grasp that sadness and anger held me with. Now, I could fly… I could reach new heights of happiness and joy. I can now say, that I am truly happy. _

_When I came in after the rain stopped and the rainbow had appeared, I was wet and dripping water. But I had a huge smile on my face – I just couldn't contain myself! I had the biggest grin on my face that I have ever had. Everyone found it odd; and I see why! Only a few hours ago, I had been sad and moping. But, they didn't know what I knew… They didn't know that I was free. They didn't know how restrained they were from life. _

_It was my little secret. No one would know what had happened to me during that rainstorm… Only I would. They could guess, they could assume – but no one would even know. It's something so simple, that it's so complex. If only they knew… If only they knew what I had just experienced… If only they knew what they were missing out on… But they would. Eventually, they will know what I know; they will experience what I experienced; and they will feel what I feel._

_I literally skipped up the Common Room. I was humming a random tune and had that same smile on my face when I walked through the Portrait Hole. Everyone gaped at me. I felt there eyes staring at me. I could sense that they were questioning my sanity. But I didn't care. I just stood there, giggled, and said hello before rushing over to Harry; who was sitting in an arm chair across from Ron._

_It took a moment for everyone to get back to what they were doing, but, their eyes finally left mine. Although, I could hear their whispers about me – again, I didn't care. I took a seat on the arm of Harry's arm chair, and just beamed at both Ron and Harry. I told Harry thank-you for shedding the light on me, and then I left them both with a hug. They were staring at me as I bounced over to Lavender; whom I thanked as well._

_Soon enough, everyone started staring at me again. So, I said good-night, and skipped up the stairs to the dormitory._

_And here I am, still wearing that grin, and writing it all out… It really and truly amazes me how fast I had a change of heart… And I owe it all to Harry._

_I can only begin to imagine what everyone else is thinking…_

**~*~  
  
**

**A/N : **Deliquesco - _Latin_. Meaning – melt.

         Occaeco- _Latin_. Meaning – invisible.

         Festinatio - _Latin_. Meaning – speed.

         Tardo - _Latin_. Meaning – slow down.

Wow… September 30th was one of my favourite entries to write. It's just so real for me… This entire chapter was easy to write because it was so real to me… I included lots of quotes that I liked, and it's actually based on my life. Evidently, things have been changed, but, basically – it's me. So, I hope you enjoy reading this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it.

Oh, and just so you know, this isn't all you're going to hear of Hermione… I'm thinking about continuing this until June so that you can see the whole year through her eyes, but, it's your choice. Tell me if you think that I should stop in June, or sooner in a review. =)

**~*~**


	10. Chapter 10

**Underneath it All**  
  
**A/N** : Finally, we're in October. =) Only a few more months to go! ; ) Lolz.

Let me just say that writing the entry for October 1st was really hard… I wrote it several times, and I wasn't happy with it, so, please understand if it's not the best… I just didn't know exactly how to continue from that last entry… I'm still not satisfied with it, but, I hope you guys don't mind too much… =)

I've decided to continue on until June – it'll take quite some time, and be a lot of work, but it'll be worth it in the end. =) I may, after that, make a sequel and do Seventh Year, but, I'm not thinking that far ahead now, lolz.

By the way, I have a short little one shot fic up called Watching From Afar… It's not the best, but, if you want to, then, check it out, lolz.

**Oh yes, and, happy New Year everybody!!**  
  
**DISCLAIMER :**** All characters and places are brought to you by JK Rowling - not me.******

This disclaimer has been brought to you by…

The letter **D** for DISCLAIMER

And…

The number **10** for the number of times I could be sued without it.  
  
Reviews-

You guys are all so awesome… Always sending me nice reviews and everything… =) =) Thanks so much!!

_Thanks:_  
        **LyssasPen - Thank you! And same here, lolz. Most of this story, like I said before, is based on things from my life, lolz.**

**          hp/charmed obsesed - Thanks – I was just wondering what you guys wanted. If I do Seventh Year, it will probably be a new story. =) And I agree about the Harry/Hermione ship… I don't like it either. And, you'll just have to wait and see what it all meant, and who the bracelet was from, won't you? ; )**

**          Teen Typist - Thanks for the review. =) And not as much as she should lately, lolz.**

**          noseyMCnosey - Thanks for the wonderful review!! =) And thanks so much for the compliment. =) I always love reading your reviews… They're so flattering and helpful, lolz. =) **

**          foxXy - Aw, thank you so much!! =)**

                **Leanah - Thanks for the review… You'll just to wait and so. =)**

  
**_Now we begin..._**

_October 1st,_

_I really didn't know what to expect today… I mean, what was today going to be like? Would I just go back to normal, with the knowledge of yesterday tucked in my head? Or, would I change, little by little into someone knew? Or, would I just drastically change into a completely different person? _

_Well, when I woke up, I didn't FEEL any different, so, I guess that I just have the knowledge, and will change some minor things, but, I'll mainly stay the same… All day I was looking for those changes, but, I couldn't find them… Perhaps I was looking to hard… Or, perhaps they're just not there…_

_Everyone kept commenting on how great I looked. That smile was still on my face – it hadn't left at all! A few people asked me how I could be so happy after how sad I was yesterday… I just started to laugh and walked away. It's funny how good life seems when you're finally happy and free…_

_Nothing could dampen my mood – even when Snape asked me if I wanted detention for smiling so much. Honestly, how can you give detention for smiling? It's quite stupid if you ask me… But, that's Snape for you. He likes to give detention and take points of from Gryffindors for silly things. Normally it bothers me, but, you know what, who cares? Let him be a bitter, old man. If he wants to hold a petty school boy grudge, then he can just go ahead – it just goes to show you how pathetic he is… _

_Although, wouldn't it be something if he gave points to Gryffindor, just once? Or, better, if he took away points from Slytherin? That would certainly be shocking… Too bad it's never going to happen…_

_He gave us time to work on our projects in class today. I didn't really need the time since I've already finished, so, I just went to the Library and read up a bit on wands. I remember a while back when my first wand was malfunctioning, and I had to get a new one… Well, I'm still curious as to why that happened – I've never heard of that. I've also taken out a few books on the properties of a wand – perhaps I can figure out what my wand is made of, and why Ollivander wouldn't tell me anything about it…_

_No one said anything when they saw me carrying those books, but, I could tell that they thought something was wrong with me. I mean, they're used to seeing me taking out many books, but, never on wands and their properties. Thank Merlin nobody asked me why, because, I myself don't truly understand why I'm reading up on it… I mean, I want to know, but, I can't help thinking that there's something else behind that…_

_At least the time I had in the Library was quite useful, apart from finding all of those books that is. I started reading one of them – Woods of the Wands – and I found out something quite interesting… Well, wands are made out of wood from trees; such as oak, pine, redwood, etc – except for mine, that is. You see, it showed pictures of the types of woods, and I matched up my wand to see which type of wood it looked the most like. I wasn't having much luck until I got to the last chapter of the book. It said there that, though wands were made out of tree wood, there were several wands - no more than 10 - that were made out of the wood from other things; such as ferns and treelike plants. The wood of my wand perfectly matches the wood of the "Alsophila australis;" the largest of all ferns. _

_There was an entire section devoted to the Aslophila australis. It said that that wood was particularly strong when it came to wands, and could be extremely powerful when mixed with certain cores. And, from what I read, only three wands have ever been made of it. One of them is mine, while the others seems to be, well, lost. _

_Unfortunately, I didn't get to read much else since Potions was over by the time I had found and read that. And, I didn't have time after classes to read some more. Perhaps tomorrow I'll learn more about it… So far though, I can see why Ollivander had reacted the way he had… Not only is it not made out of tree wood, but, it is also one of the only two wands made of that particular wood in existence… It's a shame that I can't figure out what the core of the wand is. Although, I have a plan that just might work…_

_Now, I know that I really shouldn't have, and, I know that I really should have been paying attention, but, I couldn't help it! Although, at least I paid attention when Professor Binns told us what we were going to be learning – witch hunts. And, luckily, I already read up on that. If anything, I can always get someone's notes. You see, I just HAD to read up a bit more on the Aslophila australis, so, I took the book, put it in my lap, and read it during History of Magic… Thank Merlin I wasn't caught! No one noticed either… They were too busy passing notes, finishing up homework, chatting, everything BUT paying attention. I feel so guilty though… I mean, the classes are here for a reason… But, I just couldn't resist! Was it really so bad to tune out during just one class?_

_And it's not like I was doing something unproductive or something that could get me in trouble. I was reading up on my wand! I think that I have a right to know and understand my wand… After all, according to Wands and Wizards, the more you know about your wand, the better you and your wand will work together, and the stronger your magical abilities will be. So, I was, in a way, strengthening my magical powers by reading during class, right? I mean, interesting as History of Magic is – no sarcasm intended – it isn't really going to help me if I need to use magic to help myself… I can't help but feel like a criminal though… _

_But, I promised myself that I would read the chapter on Medieval Witches and Wizards, and even take out a few books on witch hunts so that I wouldn't fall behind in History of Magic. So, not only am I becoming a more powerful witch, but, I'm also going to learn MORE about what Professor Binns taught us. If that doesn't make up for it, then I don't know what will… _

_And it's not like I'm going to make a habit of ignoring my lessons and studying whatever else I want to – it was just this once – I'll never do it again._

_Well, after classes, Ginny wanted to talk to me, so, we went to the Kitchens so that we could have a bite to eat and catch up. It turned out that she wanted to hear everything about what happened between me and Ron, and why my mood had suddenly changed. I didn't really know what to tell her. I mean, on the one hand, I didn't want to keep secrets from her; after all, she's one of my best friends. But, on the other hand, I didn't really want to tell her anything… I ended up telling her the main points, but I skipped over several things… _

_After that, we just kept talking until it was time for dinner. Since we had eaten while we were talking though, we didn't bother to go down to the Great Hall. Well, I didn't. For Ginny, that's the time to socialize and catch up on everyone's day. So, I just went up to the Common Room. I had about an hour to myself, so, I decided that I may as well do my homework. I mean, how often do you get an hour of silence in the Common Room? I got a great deal done – the Common Room is very comfortable, and the silence gave me the right atmosphere to do my homework. I finished faster than I ever have before._

_There was a DA meeting after dinner, but, I didn't end up knowing until the fake Galleon started to burn quite hot. That's when I finally remembered about it, and threw it out of my pocket. I nearly burned myself; it was so hot! I cast a Cooling Charm on it, and then after a few moments when I was sure that it wasn't burning hot, I read the numerals on the side… I had about 5 minutes to get to the Room of Requirement!_

_I used a Speed Charm so that I could make it in time to the meeting. Surprisingly, I was the first person there. I decided that I may as well go into the room and wait for everyone there. At least I could read a book while I waited. I settled down on a cushion, and opened a book called Cursing on the Run. It really was quite interesting – I got a bit lost in it. After a while, I noticed that no one was in the room with me, so, I checked my watch – __7:20PM__; the meeting had been scheduled for _7:00PM___. I found it quite odd that no one had turned up… But, I really wanted to finish the book, so, I just kept reading._

_I must not have noticed the door open, but, the next thing I knew, the book was flying out of my hands, and someone was trying to disarm me of my wand! Strange thing though – they kept trying and trying with different spells, but, my wand wouldn't budge. I didn't notice until they screamed 'Expelliarmus' at the top of their lungs – and the wand STILL didn't budge. I wonder why…_

_I didn't have enough time to react or anything – the person quickly left the room muttering 'Damn you.' Then, I heard them magically locking the door. I figured that 'Alohomora' would open the door, but, it didn't work! I tried every opening charm that I could think of, but, none of them worked… Evidently, this person had put a lot of time and effort into planning that._

_I wonder who it was, and what they wanted… I mean, they were obviously after me, since, I was the only one in the Room of Requirement. All I know is that they're very powerful – they had managed it so that only my Galleon burned and so that only the numerals on my Galleon changed… But to do that, they would have to know about the Protean Charm I had placed on the Galleons for the DA meetings… If they can do that, and find a spell that locks me into here, then must truly be very powerful…_

_But, what I really want to know is who would do that. It's not like some random person wakes up one morning thinking, 'Let's lock Hermione in a room for the fun of it.' So, obviously, this person must have a grudge against me to go to all of this trouble… I was thinking about it the whole time that I was locked in the room, and I couldn't think of anyone that would do it to me… I'm not saying that I'm someone perfect that everyone likes, but, it's not like I'm someone that people hate, am I?_

_Oh, but luckily I wasn't locked in there forever… I didn't really stop to think about how long I might be stuck in there, but, when Dobby came, I was so relieved to get outside. He had no trouble at all getting in, so, I suppose that, somehow, the person managed a charm that made the door only locked from the inside… Dobby was quite surprised to see me there though. I just kept thanking and thanking him and asking him what I could do to repay him… He said that he wanted socks… Well, at least I can knit, so, that shouldn't be too hard to do._

_By the time I got back to the Common Room it was nearly __9:00PM__ – I had been in there for nearly two hours! The time sure went by fast. I didn't tell anyone what had happened though… I don't know why. I mean, they could have helped, but, then again, anyone could be after me… it's quite scary to think that someone out there really hates me that much… If they can do that, then, I'm scared to think of what else they'll do to hurt me…_

_Luckily, I have the Library excuse. Sometimes, it's good when people always assume you're somewhere. It sure comes in handy when you need to cover for yourself… No one really cared after I told them that – they had, as usual, assumed that that was there I had been._

_Now, I was considering joining Ron and Harry, but, I didn't really think that I was ready to jump right back into being friends with Ron right away. I mean, I know that I'll be able to, but, I just don't think that I can at the moment… But then again, everyone else was busy doing something else, and I didn't want to bother them and make them alter whatever they were doing just for me. And, I wasn't ready to go to bed, so, I just joined Ron and Harry._

_After all, though I'm not ready to be best friends at the moment, I've got to start somewhere if I ever want to have that friendship again. Harry must have known that that was what I was thinking when he saw me approaching him and Ron… He smiled encouragingly, which made it much easier to get over there. Just because I wasn't that close to Ron anymore, didn't mean that I'd lost Harry._

_I really don't know how Ron felt to have me there… I mean, at first I thought that he was a bit surprised that I had gone over to them. But, then, I don't know why, but, I was under the impression that he was angry… I was his best friend since First Year, so, I know what he's like when he's mad… He goes all tense for a bit, and then he isn't really that warm and nice as he usually is. I noticed him tensing up for a moment, but then he seemed to relax, so, I may have been imagining things… But, I also just had this feeling that he was angry… I don't know what to think, really._

_We didn't really do much… We played a few games of Exploding Snap, and a few games of chess – me and Harry both lost to Ron. Ron couldn't play that long since he had to finish up homework that was due tomorrow – a Divination assignment. For all of September, it seems that they've been reviewing what they've learned so far, and now they need to make a prediction for every month and say how they got it. As usual, Ron made up ludicrous predictions. I'm amazed that Professor Trelawny believes that he actually did his homework, but, then again… But, really. I mean, some of his "predictions" are so far-fetched! For example, he said that he saw in his crystal ball that the Minister of Magic would resign, and his father would become Minister of Magic! Now, I'm not saying his father wouldn't make a good Minister of Magic, but, Fudge wouldn't resign. And he said that even though it didn't affect him very much, it still did since it would be his father! Honestly!_

_Although, I must give him some credit…__ He said that in the middle of February he would have to heal a broken heart. Professor Trelawny is going to love that one since she just loves including pain and despair in her predictions… And since the middle of February is Valentine's Day… While Ron thought up of reasons for finding his predictions, Harry and I kept playing chess. We didn't even finish one game though… _

_It was quite late, so, we decided to just head upstairs after Ron had finished. I must say, I'm quite glad that I decided to join Ron and Harry… At least now it hopefully won't feel so awkward when I'm near Ron… I just can't bear it! During the day, there were several times when we were around each other, and, conversation just seemed to stop and everyone felt awkward – so I just left; I don't want to be the cause of awkwardness._

_There I was, thinking that I would have a break from all of this Ron business from everyone, when who should come up but Lavender and Parvati. It turns out that they had been looking for me all day and had wanted to talk to me… Honestly, they're wonderful friends, but, at times they can get quite annoying what with all of their gossip and all. But, something made me tell them everything – well, ALMOST everything. Lavender already knew most of it, and, surprisingly, she hadn't told Parvati. So, I had to fill her in on everything that had happened._

_It was quite nice to get it all off my back though. I feel much lighter now that I've actually said it all out loud… They didn't really say much about it; after all, what is there to say? But, at least they listened patiently and let me finish. It always amazes me how they can be so quiet and understanding when needed…_

_By the time I had told them everything, it really was quite late, so, we decided to go to bed. But, since our beds are all near each others, we kept talking until the other two girls that we share the dorm with came back. They're nice girls, but, there's something about them that unsettles me… Don't ask me why, it's just a feeling…_

_I've been having a lot of those lately. And I've been relying on them every time I've had them too. They haven't failed me yet, so, I'm just going to keep trusting them…_

**~*~**

_October 2nd,_

_The Potions assignment was due today… I noticed that some people hadn't finished – they were working on it in the Common Room and then there were some people in the Great Hall trying to eat breakfast and finish Potions. In fact, I noticed that some people who had Potions with me skipped their first class since they weren't even close to finishing! _

_Ron said that he had already finished, but, at the last minute, he remembered that he had forgotten to write down something; he didn't say what. Harry said that he had finished last night in the Common Room after dinner. At least Snape wouldn't get mad at us. I decided to check on Neville since Potions was his worst subject – I'd offered to help him with the project if he needed it, but, he told me that he wanted to do it himself. I was looking over his notes, and they're quite good. Neville really isn't that bad at Potions, but, it's the fact that Snape is always there discouraging him that makes him falter… It's quite sad, since he told me that he wants to be an Auror and needs a good mark in Potions._

_I remember last year when we were visiting Ron's father in St. Mungo's and we accidentally went to the Permanent Spell Damage Ward… We saw Lockhart there, but, we also saw Neville… I was wondering what he was doing there, but, then his grandmother seemed to answer that question… I never knew… It was such a heartbreaking sight – I felt like crying on the spot. Poor Neville; his mother didn't even know that she was his mother! And I found it so touching that he kept the bubblegum wrapper that his mother gave him… Oh, Merlin… That was something I'll never forget. And then also in the Department of Mysteries… I was knocked out for most of the time, but, I regained consciousness and I saw several of the deatheaters using the Cruciatus Curse on Neville as one of them was taunting him about his parents… And how he kept standing up for himself, trying hard not to falter… I didn't see much, but, I kept slipping to and from consciousness and I saw small parts of what was happening… I hated being so helpless!!_

_When we got back to Hogwarts, I remember that Ron, Ginny, and Luna were sleeping. Neville and I weren't tired, so, we just started talking. Well, somehow, we touched the topic of what happened at the Department of Mysteries… I already knew most of what happened from what I saw and from what I heard from everyone, but, he told me a bit more… And then he told me about his parents… Oh Merlin, it was so sad. They were tortured by Bellatrix Lestrange - the same woman that was torturing Neville – with the Cruciatus Cruse until they reached insanity. It's because of her that Neville's parents don't know him… I just felt like crying… I never knew…_

_Ever since he was young and understood what had happened to his parents, Neville has wanted to become an Auror. He said that he joined the DA so that he could get better at hexes and jinxes so that he could become a better Auror… He wants to be the one that captures Bellatrix Lestrange… Oh Merlin, it's so… I just wish that he can accomplish his dream of becoming an Auror. And I truly do wish that he is the one that captures Bellatrix Lestrange – just so long as he doesn't have to suffer the same fate as his parents… Wouldn't that be ironic?_

_I promised myself from that day, that I would help Neville reach that goal. He, like Harry, had experienced so much pain in his life because of Voldemort… They both deserve to be happy… And I wish them all of the happiness in the world. _

_I've kept my word… I keep reminding Neville that if he needs help, then he can just ask me, but, I somehow get the feeling that even if he needed it, he wouldn't. So, I just keep offering every once in a while. He's getting better in his classes though, I must say. Especially Potions. When we had Career Advice last year, he was getting an A in Potions. But now, he's getting an E! Pretty soon, and he'll be getting an O… _

_Anyways.__ After Herbology, I had to head down to the dungeons for Potions. Half-way there, I remembered that I had left the vial with the potion up in my dormitory. I didn't have enough time to run all the way there, get it, and then come back – Snape would get quite angry if I was late. Now, I know that doing magic in the halls is against the rules, but, I really needed that vial… So, I summoned it. Ooh, I'm just so glad that there were no teachers around or else I would get caught… I would probably lose some points or get detention… At least I have the vial though._

_I still had to run to make it to the dungeons on time. We spent the whole class having Snape record our marks while we tested out our potions. It took a while since some people added too many butterfly wings; which made the potion last longer. And Snape couldn't give them a potion to fix it since he couldn't see them. So, we had to wait until the potion wore off… Although, it wouldn't have been that hard to find out where they were; I mean, we ARE magical… But, no one bothered to give Snape any ideas. He'd just get mad at us for trying to show him up or something like that. And it was a nice break from a class where we had to do work… _

_Almost no one's potion lasted only 5 minutes… Only Malfoy's and mine did. Although, Harry's lasted 6 minutes, and that's quite close… But it's not good enough for Snape. _

_It was quite funny though, what some people were doing while they were invisible. Most people just sort of stood there, waiting for the Potion to wear off, but, some people were creating pandemonium! Someone, I don't remember who, started to take out all of the ingredients from the Potions Cabinet and throwing them to the floor. In the middle of this, they became visible again, except they didn't notice. So, they kept going at it, while Snape stood behind them – THEN they noticed. Obviously, they got detention. _

_Ron kept saying how much he wanted to do something to Malfoy, but, when his turn came, he took the potion – which wore off almost right after he took it. _

_Once Snape had tested most of the class, some people found that there was still some potion left over… Needless to say, chaos ensued. Several people mixed some drops together of several people's potions and drank that… Many people were invisible, and Snape had quite a hard time figuring out who it was… How he managed to finish testing everyone I've no idea – it must have been hard for him to time everyone when he couldn't tell when they were becoming visible. And the fact that other people kept going from invisible to visible didn't help much._

_Finally, he just decided to give the whole class detention. Everyone calmed down after that… Snape decided that it would be easier to just give us all one detention than to give us separate ones, so, we're all to go down to the dungeons tomorrow night at __7:00PM__; right after dinner. He hasn't decided how long it's going to last, or what we're going to do. He just said that the chances that we would be let out before _midnight___ were slim. I wonder what he's going to make us do…_

_The rest of my classes went by quite well – nothing happened out of the ordinary. Except in Charms… We were practicing the 'Separado' Charm, and someone somehow made everything separate from the floor… It took Professor Flitwick quite a bit of time to bring everything back to normal. By the time everything was in its place, class had already ended, and everyone was rushing to get to their classrooms. Luckily, the Arithmancy class is nearby – only a few doors down._

_I didn't have much homework today because of what happened in Potions and Charms, but, the homework that I did have I finished quite fast. I even read a bit ahead to find out what we would be learning next class. Now, my homework wasn't done as good as I could have made it, but, I was just so anxious to read some of the books on wands that I'd taken out from the Library. I really want to know more about my wand – it's obviously a special wand, and, perhaps dangerous since Ollivander wouldn't tell me anything about it._

_Even though I had a lot of time ahead of me, I didn't get much reading done. I went back to the Library to find some other books about finding out what the core of your wand is. I read through several books before I found a method that I could actually use. Basically, you need to brew the Revelar Potion, say an incantation, and put your wand into the potion. If you do everything correctly, then from the potion, the wood and the core will be separated so that you can see what the core is. _

_The potion takes about a week to brew, and then it has to sit for 3 days. It's quite complicated since you have to add each ingredient on a different day. But, the thing is, they have to be added at the exact same time each day. Also, the potion can't be moved at all; only to stir, for the entire time that you're brewing and letting it sit. And then, when you put your wand in, it has to be at the stroke of __midnight__ on the beginning of the third day for it to work. If you add something even a minute later, then the potion will be worthless. At least the ingredients aren't hard to come by; I have all of them already. _

_I decided to start brewing the potion tomorrow since I really wanted to read a bit more about Aslophila australis and about some cores that might be in my wand. Apparently, the Aslophila australis can't have the core of an animal or else it will be completely useless. And the three wands made of it share the same core… It's really quite an interesting wood to have in a wand; not only because only two wands are made out of it. _

_I never knew how interesting wands really were. I just thought that they were sticks that you used to use magic, but, they're really quite complex and interesting. I read up a bit on several cores as well. Basically, the more common the core is, the less powerful the wand is; and the rarer the core is, then the more powerful the wand is. And then there's this thing called Priori Incantatem. You see, sometimes, there are wands that have the core of the same creature. When those wands meet, then they won't work properly against each other. But, if the owners of the wands try to force them to do so, then one of the wands will make the other show the spells that it last used – in reverse. It's really quite interesting to think that that could happen… _

_It also said in the same book that wands with the same core AND wood do something quite strange. So, if my wand were to meet on of the other wandw make of Aslophila australis, then they would join as one if forced to fight. Then, the owners of the wands would become each other for several moments before becoming spirits that would go around the world, unable to communicate or do anything with anyone that wasn't in their position… This only happened once before, and that was when Merlin was dueling with Dezdrokton. It's quite eerie to think that they're somewhere in the world; just floating about having to watch everything…_

_Now, I hope that I never have to fight one of the other people with a wand made of Aslophila australis… I would hate for that to happen to me… I hate feeling helpless, but to have to go around the world, and watch terrible things happening, and being unable to do anything… I wouldn't be able to stand that! _

_By the time I finally read all of this information, it was quite late – I was the only one in the Common Room. I didn't think that it would take that long to read all of that… But, it did, and when I closed the book and looked around, I realized how tired I was. It's always like that… I can read a book for hours into the night, and be wide awake, wanting to keep going. But, as soon as I close the book, the tiredness sets in, and I'm practically falling asleep as I go to bed… _

_I really wanted to write down everything that happened today, so, I put a small little charm on myself to keep me awake for a few minutes… Oh, I can feel it wearing off n_

**~*~**

_October 3rd,_

_I was so tired all of today… I really considered using a spell to keep me awake, but, I didn't need that once I got to Care of Magical Creatures… Hagrid decided to introduce us all to Grawp, and start a unit on giants. Of course, Grawp recognized me, and shouted 'Hermy!' before grabbing me and pulling me up to him. Merlin, I'm scared to death of heights – especially when I'm being held by a giant! That was enough to shake the sleepiness out of me! _

_Hagrid__ kept trying to get Grawp to put me down, but, it wasn't working. At least he didn't send me plummeting to the ground – instead, he set me on top of the __South__Tower__. Which was just lovely since it was quite slippery and there was only a small stone to hold onto!! That really didn't help me get over my fear…_

_I don't know how long I was up there; too scared to move. At first, I'd lost my voice, but, after I regained it, I started screaming as loud as I possibly could for someone to get me down from there. Of course, seeing me, scared to death, clinging to a small stone on top of the __South__Tower__ made everyone start laughing. So, there I was, red in the face, angry as ever, scared to death, and no one was helping._

_Finally though, Harry got the idea of getting his Firebolt to fly up and get me… Now, I'm not a big fan of flying, but, for once, I was very happy to be on a broom. Although, I think that I may have been holding onto Harry a bit too tight… Well, he can't blame me – he would too if he was in my position! _

_At least everyone stopped laughing once I was finally on the ground. Grawp tried to pick me up again, but, Hagrid must have done something to get him away while I was hiding behind Harry. I absolutely hate heights!!_

_Luckily I had Transfiguration after that – my favourite subject! We were learning how to transfigure water into candles, and if we managed that, then burning candles. It was quite easy – most of the class could to it by the time it was time for lunch. I got it in my first few tries, and there was still a lot of class time left, so, I kept practicing – now, I can transfigure water into a lovely candle with a flower print on a candle stand, and an ever burning flame. Professor McGonagall was quite pleased with my progress – she gave 10 points to Gryffindor when I first got it, and then 5 after she saw how I had improved. _

_By lunchtime, everyone must have heard about what had happened in Care of Magical Creatures, because whenever someone would see me in the hall, they would yell 'Hermy!' and laugh while walking away. It got quite annoying after almost everyone that I passed commented on what had happened… All through lunch people would stop by where I was sitting to tease me for it. I managed to stay calm and NOT be rude to anyone – something I'm quite proud of myself for. _

_For the rest of the day, no one made any comments about what had happened. Although, I suspect that that was because when Luna had Care of Magical Creatures – they were learning about Thestrals – she climbed up on one of them and they started to fly her around. Not many people could see them, so, it scared them to see her flying in the sky on an invisible creature. At least the spotlight was off me – although, my friends and the people who were in the class with me still teased me a bit about it…_

_I didn't get a chance to brew the potion before dinner - Harry decided to hold a DA Meeting. He said that he couldn't find his fake Galleon, so, he had to tell everyone in person. I promised him that I would make him a new one… _

_Isn't that strange? The person who's after me must have gone to a lot of trouble to steal Harry's fake Galleon… And somehow, they made sure that he didn't notice… They probably did it while he had a Quidditch practice or while he was sleeping or something… This just makes me even more curious!_

_Well, this time, I decided that I would head over with Harry and Ron – that way I was less likely to be cornered again. There were already some people in the Room of Requirement when we went there; which made me feel safer._

_Draco__ was there again… I still can't get over the fact that he's so different. I mean, really. No rude remarks so far – and there have been plenty of opportunities. I don't think that anyone is ever going to get used to having him in the DA, but, we don't really have a choice. He had to be with Harry again since no one else wanted to be with him…_

_Although, I think that it's good that he's there and with Harry. He's very bright and good at casting magic – like Harry. But if Harry didn't practice with someone as good as him, then he might get a big head and think that he didn't need practice. This way, he gets to keep practicing his skills and improving; and so does Malfoy. They keep each other on the toes since they're so competitive with one another._

_Harry decided to teach us something new today. He thought that we should learn how to throw curses and jinxes while we're moving – after all, it's not like when you fight deatheaters or anyone else that you're just going to stand there and throw spells at each other. It was a bit complicated since the room is quite small, but, it seemed to expand ever so subtly if we needed it to. _

_At first, I thought that it wouldn't be a good idea to use this room since Dobby had suggested; and Dobby had guided us the wrong way several times. He had good intentions, but… Sometimes, they're just not the best ideas. Although, once Harry told me that Dumbledore had mentioned it in passing – if Dumbledore knows about it and thinks it's fine, then, it's good to use, right?_

_And it is quite useful. We don't have to bring any supplies that we might need for each meeting; which would get quite annoying. Now, it's provided to us just by thinking it! I really wouldn't mind having one of these rooms when I've left Hogwarts and gotten a house… I've decided to get some books out and try and figure out how to create one of these rooms – it would be quite useful and helpful!_

_Well, I had planned to brew the Revelar Potion today after dinner, but, my plans didn't really work out. I completely forgot about detention with Snape until Ron started ranting about it during dinner. I'm just happy that I managed to finish the bit of homework we had before the DA meeting._

_So, everyone who's in my Potions class went down to the dungeon. No one said a word since they didn't want to get into anymore trouble. Snape looked quite pleased about how dejected we all looked. A whole evening – wasted! He told us to have a seat, so, we all sat down where we normally sat; not knowing whether he meant there or anywhere we wanted. I'm betting on the first option. _

_For about an hour, we sat in complete silence. No one made a noise; and no one moved. We just sat there, watching Snape, wondering whether or not we would just be sitting there for the entire detention. But once the hour was up, Snape stood up from his desk, smirked at us, and told us to stand him. Then, he said that we would be working with our partners, and he assigned us rooms to clean – by hand – with only a rag, a bucket of water, and a toothbrush. He said we were welcome to use our hands, but, no magic. _

_Since I was with Draco, I wondered whether he would give us an easy room to clean, or a difficult room – I could tell that that's what Draco was wondering too. Snape, however, had no problem assigning us the Hospital Wing. I didn't think that it would take that long, but, I forgot that recently many people had been getting sick and the entire Hospital Wing was a mess. _

_At least nobody was in the Hospital Wing to make out work even harder – even Madam Pomfrey wasn't there. So, Draco and I set to work. For about an hour, we worked in silence, cleaning what we thought needed cleaning. But, after that hour, I got tired of the silence, and not knowing what else had to be done. I suppose that Draco felt the same way since he said it first. _

_So, we decided to work from the left side of the room to the right. And since the room is quite large, we decided to split the room in half so that we could clean more and be sure that it was done. Even though it was easier cleaning now that I knew what I had to do, I still didn't like the silence. I remembered the time when Draco had found me in the washroom after taking the Memorium Potion, and how he skipped classes and spent the rest of the day with me in that room just chatting. I kept wishing that maybe we could have that comfortable atmosphere here while we cleaned…_

_After about an hour of thinking and cleaning in silence, I got sick of it – so I tried to start a conversation. I figured that it would be fairly easy, but, Draco decided to be difficult. I tried several times, but, each time, he found a way to end the conversation rudely. Finally, I just got mad and yelled at him that if he didn't want to talk, then he didn't have to be rude and difficult about it. _

_He didn't say anything in his defense; in fact, he didn't say anything at all – he just ignored me! That just made me even madder. So, I turned back to my side of the room, fuming, trying to finish as fast as I could. I didn't bother to attempt to start a conversation again – if he wanted to work in silence, fine! But as soon as I had finished, I had a plan. I really don't know what possessed me to think of that, or to actually carry it out, but, whatever it was... I did have some satisfaction in it, though._

_You see, I had finished cleaning, and I noticed that I had quite a bit of water left in my bucket – it was very dirty and soapy, but, I didn't care. I was angry with him, and I didn't think that it would be a big deal… So, carefully, I picked up the bucket – I don't think that he noticed that I was done. And then, ever so quietly, I crept up behind him, and… And… And I poured the water on his head! Ooh, it was quite satisfying to see him turn around in shock… The look on his face was priceless! He looked so angry and shocked, and… Ooh! _

_But then, there was an evil glint in his eyes, and he smirked. Before I knew what was happening, he took HIS bucket of water, and dumped it on MY head. Well, I just had to retaliate! So, I took my sponge, and throw it at him – and he did the same! We kept throwing sponges and water at each other until we were completely drenched, and the sponges were dry, and the buckets were empty. _

_We caused quite a mess, but, since it was all water and soap, it wasn't really that difficult to clean it up. I can't believe that I had that much fun in detention with him!! I mean, it was really dirty and quite disgusting, but, it didn't really matter to either of us! Oh, but if someone had walked in, we would have been in the biggest of trouble! But, we didn't; and we got the job done right. So, no one but Draco and I will know what happened… It's quite strange… Having a secret with Draco I mean; about us having fun in detention… _

_It was well past 1 in the morning by the time we cleaned up the mess we made, but, it didn't really matter. I wasn't tired in the least, so, at least it gave me something to do. And the strange thing is that we didn't say a word to each other… Except for my attempts at conversation and when I yelled at him – but those hardly count!_

_So, I hurried back to the Common Room – even though I had permission to be out after hours because of detention, the professors would still be curious as to why I was covered in soap and water. Luckily, no one was in the Common Room or in the showers, so, I didn't have to avoid answering awkward questions. _

_After I finished my shower, some people were already in the Common Room – and there I was, thinking that I was the last one there! It turned out that I was the first one back! There weren't many of us, so, we just sat down in front of the fire and kept sharing stories of our detentions. We didn't stay up late though – the detention must have worn out everyone else since they were practically falling asleep in the couches._

_Well, I just went upstairs after a while. I didn't really say much – after all, what could I say? That I had fun with Draco in detention? Not likely. And, I was getting a bit tired, so, it wasn't that bad being one of the first to turn in._

**~*~**

_October 4th,_

**-**

**Late evening**

**-**

_Friday night – the perfect time to start brewing the potion! Harry decided to hold a Quidditch practice, and quite a few people wanted to watch since they had nothing better to do. So, the Common Room was fairly empty. But, it's not like I could brew my potion there. I couldn't move it anywhere, so, I needed to find a place that no one would find it…_

_All through the day, I was thinking of different places that I could hide my potion, but, I couldn't think of any place good enough. I was considering the Room of Requirement, but, lots of people knew of it now, so, I didn't want to risk it being found. I finally decided to use Moaning Myrtle's washroom. Nobody ever used it, and, I'm sure that I could convince Myrtle to keep an eye out for my potion…_

_So, after dinner while everyone was getting bundled up to watch the Quidditch practice, I hid in the dormitory. After I was sure that everyone was gone, I took a cauldron with the supplies that I would need for today… I really wasn't sure what to expect from Myrtle, but, I'm really happy that she agreed. See, being nice DOES pay off!_

_I try to visit her at least once a week so that she knows that even though she's a ghost, she's not forgotten. She really is quite nice once you get past the moaning and sulking… And she's a big help too – like for this. It's quite sad though; her life that is. I mean, when she was alive, her life was no better than now. People avoided her, and when they didn't, they just teased her. And she was so happy whenever Harry, Ron, and I would go to her washroom to work on our Polyjuice Potion. She got quite upset when we stopped visiting her… I promised her then that I would visit her whenever I could. And that promise was made back in Second Year! _

_I've still kept that promise; just like all of my other promises. I never break a promise… I mean, if you tell someone that you'll do something, then you should do it! What's there to be gained in breaking that promise? I hate it when people break their word… It bothers me so much, and it makes it harder to trust or believe them. So, I always make promises that I know that I can keep – and I keep them!_

_Well, at least the problem of finding a place to keep the potion was solved. I sat in one of the cubicles for quite some time; wondering when to put it the first ingredient – star dust grinded up to liquid form. I checked my watch, and the second that it turned to __7:20PM__, I put the star dust in. 7:20 is an easy time to remember – and hopefully it won't be too hard to keep at it for 6 more days… I just have to make sure that I don't get detention or have a DA meeting then…_

_Then, the potion requires to be stirred five times counterclockwise, and then four times clockwise. After that, I had no idea what to do. It had only taken me a half hour to get everything done – now I had to whole night ahead of me!_

_So, I packed up everything, thanked Myrtle several times, and then left to just wander around Hogwarts until I found something to do. I wasn't in the mood to go out in the cold and watch a Quidditch practice, and I didn't quite feel like reading either. So, I set out to explore the castle. I learned my mistake from last time, and I remembered every turn I took and every direction I went in. I already knew quite a bit of the castle, so, it wouldn't be too hard to find my way back if I did get lost…_

_Well, I didn't discover anything, really. Except for one small room… I was walking around the moving staircases, and when one of the staircases moved, I noticed a door. I was quite curious to see what was on the other side of the door, but, I didn't want to risk getting stuck there if the staircase moved back. But, I decided to risk it – after all, the stair case would move eventually. _

_The room wasn't anything special – it was just an old room; clearly no one had been in it for a while since it was all dusty. The room was fairly empty, there was only a small table, and several chairs around it, but, on one of the chairs I found a piece of parchment. I couldn't make out what it said on it form the dim light coming from my wand, so, I decided that I may as well leave now to see what it said._

_Getting out of the room was quite easy, but, I found that I was stuck in front of the door until the staircase moved – it had conveniently moved in my way. So, I sat down on the floor and leaned against the door, trying to make out what the piece of parchment said from the rays of light coming from between the staircase._

_Well, I got tired of waiting, so, I decided that perhaps using a little spell to move the staircase over just enough for me to get through would be fine. I don't know how long I would have been stuck there if I hadn't moved the staircase, but, I'm glad I remembered that I was a witch… I tend to forget at times and think of muggle solutions. Well, you can't blame me – I've only known muggle ways until the age of 11; that's most of my life! _

_So, I ran up the staircases to get to the Gryffindor Common Room so that I could read the parchment. As I was about to sit down and read, though, I remembered back to when Eva and I were in the __Forbidden__Forest__. And I remembered the book that I found – and took back. If I was reading this, then, I may as well read that. So, I ran up to my dormitory, found the book, enlarged it back to its original size, and went back down to the Common Room._

_It was easy to read the piece of parchment since the writing was English, but, I didn't really understand what it said. It was just a bunch of random words written down. I didn't throw it out though – perhaps it would serve of some importance later on. After all, it was probably a code for something… Ooh, I really want to figure out its secret… I tried to make sense of it for a while, but, I just couldn't. So, I decided to look at the book._

_The writing in the book was faded, and the pages were yellowed with age – it was quite difficult to make out anything. There were also several stains over some places, so, it was next to impossible to read any of it. I think that it was in English, and I managed to make out a few words – not enough to understand it though. _

_I must say, it was quite a disappointment to be so close to discovering those secrets, but being unable to… Perhaps I'll try again some other time. I have a feeling that they're quite important, and that they'll be useful somehow… I just wish I knew how… If I knew what they said, then I would be able to figure out how they might be of use in the future…_

_I know that this is a silly idea, but, I was thinking that maybe the piece of parchment had something to do with the Order of the __Phoenix__. I mean, I found it in Hogwarts in a secret room that could have easily been used for meetings back when Voldemort was first coming to power. And it obviously hasn't been used in a while since – perhaps because they didn't have need of it? And they wouldn't be writing things so that anyone who found them could read them – they would write it in a code that only they would know… I don't know – I'm probably wrong, but…_

_By the time I hid the book and parchment in my trunk, everyone was coming back from the Quidditch practice. It's just as well I suppose – it gave me something to get my mind off of the book and parchment… It's been nagging me since I went upstairs though. They're right there in my trunk; taunting me to keep looking at them… I would stay up all night if I could try to unlock their secret… In fact, who says I can't? It's the weekend; tomorrow is Saturday…_

**-**

**Late night/ Early morning**

**-**

_It's nearly 5 in the morning, and I'm STILL looking at that parchment. I decided to take a break and record what I've found out so far so that I don't forget. Merlin, I'm tired. The parchment is about a foot long, and it's covered in writing – at least the writing isn't tiny; or else I would NEVER make any of it out… I can't believe that I've only figured out two sentences of it all! I'm so disappointed… But then again, it's not like it was easy to figure out what those two sentences were!_

_They're the first two sentences on the parchment and this is what I've translated: 'Bumblebee, the time is coming – we must push the plan of action forwards. If we don't get everything done soon, then we'll fail – we'll be doomed!' Now, I'm sure that it's for the Order of the __Phoenix__! I wonder who Bumblebee is though… I figured out who the letter was from though – Fox. I wonder who Fox is… _

_I'm guessing that what's in the parchment is about the plan and the time that is coming… I've figured out a few letters since everything follows the same code, but, not enough to make out if it's about Voldemort or not… At least now I know what it's about – now I can finally rest easy… Although, now that I've solved a bit of the parchment, I really want to try and understand the book…_

_No, I can't. I really do need to get some sleep…_

**~*~**

_October 5th,_

_I'm so surprised! I mean, I got to sleep a bit past 5 in the morning, but I still managed to wake up at __8:00AM__ – and I feel fine! I don't feel any tiredness or anything – in fact, I feel quite refreshed. It's quite odd, really. _

_What a day though…_

_It started out normal – I ate breakfast, chatted with a few people afterwards, read a bit of a book, and then got ready for lunch. Lunch came and went, and I found myself wandering around Hogwarts again. I wasn't really thinking about where I was going or what I was doing – I didn't really care, actually. Well, I found myself heading in the direction of the Kitchens; even though I'd already eaten lunch, I felt like eating something sweet._

_So, there I am, walking to the Kitchens, when suddenly, I have the feeling that I'm being followed. So, I turn around to see if someone's there, and no one is. I walk a bit further, and I get that feeling again. I'd already checked if someone was there, and, chances were that it was just my imagination. So I just kept going to the Kitchens. I'm about to turn into the hallway to get there when I feel someone come up behind me. I turn around – and no one's there!_

_I was getting a bit scared because the last time that I was alone, someone had tried to attack me. So, I quickened my pace, and nearly ran all the way to the portrait of the bowl of fruit. My hands out to tickle the pair, when I feel something on my hand. I try to ignore it – after all, if I get into the Kitchens, I'll be safe since there'll be plenty of house-elves. But a centimeter away from the portrait, the… Thing, pulled my arm back._

_Now I was scared – completely and utterly scared. It was one thing if someone was attacking me and I could see them; but it was completely different if I couldn't see them and they were invisible. I had no idea where they were, and it's difficult to protect yourself from things you can't see. Trying to look calm, I went back to the portrait to tickle the pair. But then, I felt arms wrap around me – not in a nice way; but in a way to hold me back! _

_I'm scared out of my mind, being held back by something invisible, and I have no idea what to do. I was about to scream when I felt someone's lips against mine – they were trying to kiss me to keep me quiet! I kept trying to push them back – something impossible seeing as how they were clearly stronger than me, AND had the advantage of being invisible. I felt like crying on the spot – they had complete control._

_I didn't give up though – I kept trying to break free even though there was no point… Soon enough, I found myself against a wall – their body was pressing against mine, making sure that I couldn't move at all. It seemed like they were looking for something, and, hoping to use that as a distraction, I tried to push away. Unfortunately, it didn't work, and they must have found what they were looking for, because the bricks that were holding me up disappeared to show the entrance to a room._

_As the person pushed me in, the bricks reappeared; sealing us in the room. I tried to remember everything I could so that I would be able to get out, but my eyes were brimming with tears, and I couldn't see straight. The person suddenly started to become visible again. They looked faded, but, soon enough, they looked solid. They must have anticipated that that would happen because they were clad in all black and I couldn't see anything of them. At least I could tell where they were though…_

_I really didn't know what to expect… I mean, what would they do to me? I think that all they wanted to do was scare me, because they quickly tied me up, and left the room without a word. So, I was sitting on the floor in the middle of some hidden room, all tied up, with no idea of how to get out. I tried to reach for my wand, but, they somehow tied me so that it was just out of my reach. _

_I don't know how I managed to get out of the roped that were holding me, but I did. With that obstacle out of the way, I went straight for my wand and clutched it in my hands. The next problem to overcome was getting out. I tried to picture what the person had done to get out, but, I just couldn't seem to remember. It was up to me to figure out a way to get out._

_At first, I tried feeling around on the walls to see if there was a brick you had to press that would make the doorway appear, but, that didn't seem right – it was as if the person had just walked towards the doorway, and the entrance had appeared. So, I tried that – several times. I tried several patterns of walking that looked like what the person had done, but, none worked. _

_After quite some time, I just tried to walk through the bricks – all that happened was that I got a massive headache. So, I leaned against the bricks for a moment so that I could try and soothe my headache. And what luck! The bricks disappeared and the entrance appeared! Unfortunately, since I was leaning on those bricks, I fell back onto the floor – it only added on to my headache. _

_So, wand in my hand, I ran out of there and ran to the Hospital Wing so that Madam Pomfrey could get rid of that headache. I didn't know whether or not I should tell anyone about what happened. I mean, if I told, then I might get some protection, but, if someone wanted to harm me, that would only make them want to hurt me more. In the end, I decided against telling anyone. For all I knew, whomever I told cold be the person that wanted to harm me…  _

_Madam Pomfrey quickly got rid of my headache and let me go as soon as she saw that I was fine. I was careful about going to the Common Room – I didn't want to risk that happening again. I needed to be alert if I wanted to stay safe. Just a few moments of daydreaming was all that they needed, and they could easily attack me; leaving me helpless. _

_I had never been so happy to reach the Common Room in my life. I sank into an armchair by the fire for a moment; lost in my thoughts. I was really wondering who it was that was out to get me, but, I had no idea as to who it was. Not knowing what else to do, I decided to try and make out something of the book. _

_I read for quite some time, and managed to make out a few more words that before. If I kept up like this, then I wouldn't be able to read the book for several years! Although, a few words WAS better than nothing… I still wish that I could have understood a bit more._

_I wasn't aware of how late it was until everyone started to come back into the Common Room. It turns out that I'd missed dinner because I was so caught up in the book. When people asked me where I was, I told them that – they just shook their heads and laughed; typical Hermione. _

_Everyone wanted to do something different with me… Lavender and Parvati wanted to gossip; Ginny wanted to go down to the Kitchens – somewhere that I don't think I'll be going alone for quite some time! Neville wanted me to look at his Charms essay; Seamus, Dean, Harry, and Ron wanted me to play Exploding Snap… I finally settled on helping Neville. I wasn't in the mood to play a game after everything that had happened today, and Neville needed my help._

_He didn't really need my help with the essay - it was really well written! He only mixed up a few incantations, but, other than that, I'd defiantly say that he deserved an O for that! Well, after that, there was no point in going off to join anyone else since they were all already in the middle of something, so, I just stayed with Neville for the rest of the night. _

_We played a few games of chess – he's a much better chess player than I am; I wonder if he's as good as, if not better than, Ron? After that, we just sat by the fire and chatted about, well, everything. We talked about things from classes to his dreams of being an Auror. It was quite a nice chat, really. _

_But, I was quite tired, so, I was one of the first people to go up to bed. Perhaps staying up so late reading that piece of parchment wasn't a good idea. Ah well – at least I could easily get some more sleep tonight._

_As I was putting away my skirt, I noticed that there was a hair on it. At first, I didn't think anything of it, but, as I thought about it, I realized that it might hold a clue to who ever it was that was attacking me. After all, a hair could have easily fallen out of their head and fallen onto my skirt. It took me a bit to see what colour it was, but, I finally concluded that it was ginger. So much for that idea – it was probably just Crookshanks' hair; he probably shed it on me earlier today when I was holding him in my lap. _

_Well, I ought to get to bed now, even though it's quite early, I'm really quite tired._

**~*~  
  
**

**A/N: **Separado = _Spanish. Meaning – **to separate.**_

        Revelar = _Spanish_. Meaning – **to reveal**.

        Dezdrokton = It's just a name I made up. I changed around a word in a different language for it to be that. If you can figure out which word and language it comes from, then you get a whole chapter dedicated to you, lolz. =P   


	11. Chapter 11

**Underneath it All**

**A/N : **Happy New Year!! So, it's finally 2004. =) Only… __ more days until 2005!!!!! =P 

Just to tell you all… The waits between chapters are going to be a bit longer from now on. I'm starting up school again, so, that, homework, and all of my other classes takes up quite a bit of time. But, I promise to write the chapters whenever I can; and update as soon as possible. =)

**DISCLAIMER :**** All characters and places came from the brilliant mind of JK Rowling. **

Reviews –

          _Thanks…_
    
    **Mz.Undastood****-Actress - You'll just have to wait and see who it is… ; )**
    
                            **BBLLPMLover**** - Thanks! =) Yeah, I liked the detention scene too, lolz. You'll see… ; ) Have fun at work! Lolz.**
    
                            **noseyMCnosey** - Thanks. =) And the wand thing _is important to the plot. It's just further in, and, I needed to introduce it early for reasons that I can't say since they'll ruin the plot, lolz. And, you'll find out what it means and everything soon. =) And, their relationship is going to progress soon enough. I'm taking it slowly since they've hated each other for a while, so, it's not like they can wake up one day and start dating, ya know? So, just be patient and you'll see. =) And, sorry for the late update… =(_
    
                            **Amandaliini** - Thank you – I'm glad they make you think and everything. =) Oh wow, longest review ever… Chocolate chip cookie for you! =D

_                   **Now we begin…**_

**__**

_October 6th,_

_I woke up bright and early – early enough to watch the end of the sunset, as luck would have it. The sunset never seems to bore me – it's always different and beautiful… It captivates me. Although, the fact that I always see Draco watching the sunset as well ignites my curiosity. I really do wonder why he does it as well. Perhaps it's sheer coincidence that every time I'm out watching the sunset he's there; or, perhaps he's stalking me; or, perhaps he just watched the sunset every morning. I wonder if I'll ever knew the true reason. I don't know why I care so much – I just have this feeling inside of me that keeps urging me to figure it out since it somehow seems important._

_Oh, but Crookshanks gave me quite a fright this morning! While I was heading out of the Portrait Hole, I felt her brush against me as she sprinted out! Now, I know that she's safe on Hogwarts grounds, but, since the incident in the __Forbidden__Forest__ – you can never be too careful. After all, she doesn't know that the __Forbidden__Forest__ is dangerous – she doesn't know what creatures lurk in there, just waiting for something to come in before they pounce… _

_At first, I couldn't find Crookshanks inside the castle, so, I decided to check around the castle instead. It was the strangest thing though. As I was closing the doors to Hogwarts behind me, I caught a glimpse of a flash of ginger running across the grass. I started to go after it when I saw that it had suddenly stopped by a tall boy with platinum blonde hair – Draco! I didn't know what to do, so, I just stood there, watching, and waiting to see what happened next._

_Well, Crookshanks started to brush up against Draco's legs – it took him a moment to notice, but, when he finally did, he looked a bit surprised. Then again, who wouldn't be – what, with having a strange cat brushing up against you early in the morning. He didn't seem to mind though; he sat down on the grass and picked up Crookshanks. I couldn't see what was happening next since he was facing away from me, but, I did hear some mumbles words when I got closer, and I think that he was talking to Crookshanks… It's times like these that I wish that Crookshanks could speak…_

_I just stood there; half watching the sunset, and half watching Draco and Crookshanks. I wasn't sure what I should do, so, I just stood there. After the sun had risen, Crookshanks leapt up off of Draco and ran over to the greenhouses. I suppose that Draco went back inside the castle, but, I don't know – I went right after Crookshanks. Luckily, I caught him within a few minutes. _

_So, I walked back into Hogwarts and straight to the Common Room to drop off Crookshanks before heading down to the Great Hall for breakfast. Just as I was going into the Common Room, Ron and Harry were leaving. They looked a bit surprised to see me, and then Ron glared at Crookshanks. I just put Crookshanks down on the floor before running after Ron and Harry. I caught up with them quite fast since they hadn't walked very far. _

_It felt a bit awkward once I joined up with them – it seemed as though their conversation had come to a stop once I was in hearing range. It hurt that they felt that they had to stop talking since I was there. I was their best friend! You'd think that they could trust me… Sometimes I wonder whether or not we're still best friends. I mean, they've stopped their conversations several times before when I've approached them. I can't help wondering what they're talking about that they can't let me in on. _

_I try to pretend that I don't notice it, and then I try to make conversation, but, it always seems strained – and this was no exception. I kept trying and trying until we reached the Great Hall – they completely ignored me then. They turned to Seamus and Dean to talk about Quidditch or girls, or whatever other things boys talk about… At least Ginny was there; so I had someone to talk to._

_I really feel like I'm drifting apart from Ron and Harry… We've been best friends since First Year, and, yet, it seems like overnight we've grown apart… We've always been close, and, even through our differences, we've remained friends. But now, it seems as though those differences are pushing us apart, and not letting us stay friends. Maybe it's just me overreacting, but…_

_After breakfast, I decided to take a walk around the grounds. I love taking walks in the morning – it really wakes me up and gives me time to calm myself and think about the day ahead of me. I managed to get away from everyone and take the walk by myself. It took a bit of time though, since everyone kept coming up to me and trying to strike up a conversation. I didn't want to be rude, so, I stood and chatted with them for a while._

_That walk really refreshed me. There was a lovely breeze – perfect for the day, and perfect to relax me. The sun was shining and lighting up everything around me. Life was everywhere! There were flowers blooming, butterflies fluttering… Everything was where it should be, and, for once, life seemed perfect… Memories from that evening kept flashing through my mind. It seems so similar to that night… _

_It's like the rain had cleansed me, and that was what had made me see the truth… And now, now that I've had time to reflect on everything, I can truly say that I understand what happened that evening… Now that I understand, it seems that the rest of the world understands as well. It's as though the world is rejoicing with me, and is being given life – just like I am. _

_I didn't know what to expect after that evening… I didn't know how I would change, or even if I would at all. Looking back, I don't think that I did. It's now that I've had time to think about it that I have the chance to change. I've always believed that for anything to change, you need to stop to think about everything – and I've had the chance to do that. Now, whether or not I change is all up to me. _

_People believe that changes just happen, that nothing influences them – that someone just wakes up different. But it's not like that. People start to change subtly, and it's just that when you finally notice – they've changed quite a bit overtime. Everything that happens is a choice. You don't just one day change for no reason at all. You have to have the will to change, and take the initiative of doing something to change. Then, the world will throw things your way that will help change you and lead you in the right direction – it's up to you to use them to your advantage._

_Everything is a choice – nothing is just there or forced. And it's most forgotten when people make decisions. People say that they were pressured into doing something; that they didn't want to; that they had to – but the truth of the matter is that they DID want to. They may not have known it, or they may not want to admit it to themselves, but, every choice they make is what they wanted. _

_If everyone around if you telling you to do something, and you, with all your heart and soul, don't want to – then to matter what, you won't. It doesn't matter whether or not you're self-conscious or completely confident – it's all in what you want. If even a small part of you wants to do what others say, then even if the rest of you is protesting, then you'll eventually cave and do it. See, there is no such thing as peer pressure. There is only persuasion and yourself. Everyone is trying to persuade you to do what they want you to do – they can't control you with that._

_If you're completely opposed to it, then you'll stand tall and ignore their comments and looks no matter how much it hurts. You'll stick with what you believe in, and you won't back down no matter what anyone says. But, the moment that you wonder if maybe they're right, or, wonder what it would be life – then you'll cave. Slowly, you'll start to lose the confidence you had before, and eventually, you'll be worn down and you'll give in._

_Peer pressure is a word that doesn't exist in my dictionary. There is no such thing – people only use it as an excuse. Because if they really hadn't wanted to give in – then they wouldn't have. They would never have swayed or given in – they would have always believed what they wanted, and wouldn't have let anyone control them._

_And it's sad how people always use that excuse. In Hogwarts, it happens quite often – most often when the older and richer kids get the younger ones to do things for them. They say that they were threatened and pressured into doing it – but, really, if they hadn't wanted to do it – they wouldn't have. They think that there is so much to gain by following their orders. They think that if they're associated with the older and more powerful people, then they'll become well-known, and rise up the ladder of popularity. _

_But there is nothing to be gained with that! What good is popularity if there's no one there to share it with? The majority of those popular people aren't friends – they just use each other, and milk each other for all of the popularity that they can get. Those people are all alone; they have no one to turn to. They've stepped on so many other people, that those people wouldn't help them. And their popular "friends" will just as quickly reject them. After all, what good are they after that?_

_I notice it the most with the Slytherins… Now, I'm not saying that I don't see it everywhere else, but, it's with the Slytherins that it's most evident. The children of the deatheaters bully younger students into doing what they say. And those children that do the bullying learned it from their parents – because their parents are rude people who will do anything to have a taste of power. And once they have that power, they'll do anything to keep it and to get more. _

_  
And their parents learned that from Voldemort – I refuse to call him Lord Voldemort; for he is nothing more than a pathetic excuse for a human being. Although, there is something to idolize in him – he is quite intelligent if you think about it, after all. You really must be to formulate so many plans, and to gather so many people to join his ranks. He is a genius – truly one of the most powerful wizards in our time. But the path that he chose will be his downfall. _

_It will not be Harry who destroys him – it will be Voldemort himself. Harry told me of the prophecy a while back – it said that he was the only one that could destroy Voldemort… But no one has the power to destroy anyone else. Yes they can kill – but people destroy themselves. With each new plan; with each new deaetheater; with each new glint of malice in his eyes – Voldemort is slowly destroying himself. He's living in a false sense that he has all of the power, and that soon, he will be the ruler – but he's wrong. He will destroy himself in the final battle – after all that he's become, there is no way that he can survive._

_All of his carefully formed plans; all of his meticulously thought of offense and defense moves; all of his evilness – all of it will be destroyed. He will not do it to himself, and Harry will not do it to him. '**Either must die at the hand of the other -**' interesting, isn't it, how everyone assumed that one would have to be a murderer? Not once did it mention that one would have to kill…. Not once did the prophecy mention anything about becoming a murderer… Everyone assumed – assumptions will be our fall._

_Everyone will assume Voldemort's next attack, or what he has planned – and that will be the reason that so many will be lost… Voldemort is one of the few that tried to steer clear of assumptions… For that, I do applaud him. His plans evidently took many a month to perfect – and he assumed as little as possible. He only assumed if he was sure of it – like with Sirius. He lured Harry by assuming that he would believe him… _

_Everyone also assumes that Sirius is dead… Perhaps I'm wrong about this, or, perhaps I'm right… But, Sirius fell behind the veil… It seems rather silly, even for the wizarding world, to be lost to everyone by falling through a veil… He may be gone, but who's to say that it's forever? There IS a way back – I know there is… It wasn't Sirius' time to die – he had to live through the battle. I know, somehow, that he has an important part to play in the final battle… Perhaps I'm wrong; perhaps it's just the fact that I wish he was back… But, whatever it is, I've always trusted my instinct – it's always led me in the right direction._

_Back to the prophecy…__ Who's to say that dying at the hand of another means murder? Perhaps, if Voldemort DOES slowly destroy himself, then he won't be killed by anyone… Perhaps it will be the universe that kills him? The universe works in many ways, and perhaps self-destruction will be its way to rid him of the world, once and for all? Perhaps it will be that Harry simply experiences Voldemort deteriorating into nothing? Or, perhaps Harry will deliver the last blow, and it will all be too much for Voldemort to handle? _

_Though he may be in the form of a human, that doesn't mean that he IS a human.__ The body can only protect you so much… It's your soul that gives you your true protection… And as far as I know – Voldemort lost his soul the moment he pledges allegiance to the Dark Side. Or, perhaps, he still had his soul then… Perhaps it was lost when he first met Harry… I'll never know the answer to that – all I can do is share my thoughts – perhaps they'll be worth something. If only someone would listen…_

_But no one does. I'm invisible… I have no need of an Invisibility Cloak or of a potion – I'm already invisible. I'm unseen to the world in my times of need. I'm nothing but a faceless person in the crowd when I seek someone… I'm only there when I'm needed… When I'm not, I just slip back into my invisibility, only to be lost once more… _

_I may have friends, and they may be good friends most of the time – after all, no body's perfect. But, tell me this… I'm there whenever I'm needed; I go out of my way to help them; I do whatever I can to make them happy – and yet… Perhaps I'm just being selfish; or, maybe I'm just overreacting… But, I can't help but feel a little neglected…_

_There are times when I feel so lucky to have such wonderful friends… But, especially with Harry and Ron; when I try to talk about something serious – other than Voldemort, then they just try and change the subject. I guess that they sometimes forget that I'm a girl, and just seem to notice then… And when I'm with Lavender and Parvati, they only want to gossip or talk about boys… If I try to have a deep conversation, they just don't want to… Ginny is the one that I can have the deepest conversations with… And even with her… _

_In fact, I think that the only time I've truly had a good conversation was with… Draco… Back when I ran out of Potions because of the potion… Ironic, isn't it? _

_  
Well, I nearly lost track of time during my walk – I was so lost in thought! If I hadn't tripped and fallen over my own robes, then I wouldn't have snapped back to reality. Luckily, there were only a few people around, so, I wasn't as humiliated… It was still quite embarrassing though – I was started to blush as I got up and tried to leave as quickly as possible. _

_Nearly everyone was already seated and tucking in to lunch… No one questioned my lateness – after all, where else could Hermione Granger be but at the Library? I was still lost in my thoughts, so, once almost everyone had finished and left, I was still buttering the same piece of toast. Ginny finally snapped me back to attention – literally. She told me that she had been trying to get my attention for the majority of lunch… _

_I ended up going to the Library after I finished eating… I really wanted to read up a bit on my wand and see what else I could find out. But, before that, I decided to check up on my potion. Myrtle said that it was fine; she said that she liked it since it was yellow – her favourite colour. I must admit though, it was a lovely yellow… It was so light, that it nearly looked white – like the stars. It kept swirling around on its own… It was so hypnotic… The light yellow kept blending with a white and a darker yellow… The colour never seemed to change, even though, by logic, it should have darkened or lightened… _

_I left Myrtle's bathroom after a few minutes of chatting and just wandered around until I reached the Library. I headed straight for my favourite spot at the back of Library after finding a few books that could help me. I just barely opened my book when I felt like I was being watched… So, I put down the book, and looked around, trying to look casual. I couldn't see anyone, except for one person that seemed to be looking at some books. I decided not to think much of it, and decided to get back to my book. _

_Soon enough, the book had me under its spell, and nothing could make me put it down. But, then I had that feeling again. I tried to ignore it and push it to the back of my mind, but, the feeling persisted until I finally gave in and looked around. Again, I didn't see anyone. Well, I couldn't get back to my reading – I just kept getting that nagging feeling in the back of my head… I wouldn't give up though, so, I kept trying. Finally, I had enough. And then, the feeling subsided. It was quite strange; the whole thing, really._

_I went back to my book, and read for about half an hour. Then, I felt a presence around me… It wasn't a person – something just kept telling me what it wasn't a person; and yet, it was… Oh, I'm not making any sense! It was like… It was like a ghost – sort of. More like… A spirit! That's it – a spirit of a person! It still doesn't make much sense to me though… Why would I feel a spirit? And, what was a spirit doing there? I wonder, perhaps the spirit was what I felt watching me…_

_No… No, I'm sure that THAT was a person. See, I knew it was a person… There wasn't anything different apart from the fact that I felt that I was being watched. I know that it was a person watching me – I don't know how to prove it, but, my intuition says that it was a person. With the spirit – it felt different. I could FEEL them there. I could FEEL a spirit near me… _

_At first, the hairs on the back of my neck stood on end – I know that that may have nothing to do with it, but, I remember reading somewhere that that happens when a spirit is present… Then, I felt a pressure on the top of my head – it was light, almost as if nothing was there… It wasn't the touch of a person, and it couldn't have been a ghost – ghosts can't touch you; only pass through you, and when they do – it's cold. _

_And, it was the strangest thing… I suddenly felt a soft fragrance of flowers – I just can't put my finger on which flower it was... It was so delicate and faint; that I could barely smell it… But it was there; and the scent lingered long after I felt the spirit leave my presence… After the spirit left, I heard a small pop – as if someone was apparating, but, it was much too quiet for that… _

_I decided that I'd had enough of the Library, so, I decided to go to the Common Room to see what everyone else was doing. Perhaps the spirit came to get me out of the Library and to stop my research; perhaps it came to make me go to the Common Room and be with everyone else; or, perhaps it came because it knew that I already had what I needed… See, when I arrived at the Common Room, I noticed that I had left one of my books on an arm chair. I decided to flip through it before I put it away, and that was when I found something…_

_I don't even know how I did it – it felt as if the pages of the book were turning by themselves until they finally reached a certain page – they, they stopped. The page was near the end of the book, and, had I not flipped through the book, then I wouldn't have found that for quite some time… It may not seem like much information, but, I just felt so excited that I had finally found something – anything! _

_Basically, to make the core compatible with Alsophila australis, it must be a hair – but, not just some random hair; it must be the hair of the maker of the wand… So, would that mean that the core of my wand is Ollivander's? Well, I suppose that I won't find out until the potion is done… Although, it wouldn't seem right that it was Ollivander's… There's a piece of the puzzle that I'm missing; and without it, I can't see the bigger picture…_

_All through dinner I was thinking about that. I tried to continue on Ginny's attempts for conversation, but, I just had too much on her mind. I think she noticed since she got angry with me… Tomorrow I'll have to talk to her about that…_

_After dinner, I decided that I would get whatever I needed for the potion ready, and then head out to the bathroom. I got sidetracked on the way by several people that just wanted to talk or play a game… Luckily, I made it in time, and I added the unicorn hair at the right time. After I finished stirring, the concoction went from the light yellow to a silvery white… It was gorgeous! The potion seemed to shimmer and it was such a light silver that it was practically white. _

_Myrtle wasn't anywhere to be seen, and, I didn't feel like waiting for her, so, I just left after a few minutes. I decided to go to the Common Room and play Exploding Snap or something… Only, fate decided to take an unexpected twist… _

_When I got there, the Common Room was practically empty, so, I asked around to see where everyone was. They said that they had all gone outside to play Quidditch – by now, the lovely sunshine of the day had disappeared behind storm clouds, and a huge storm was raging outside. I decided to check around the castle to see if maybe they went inside, but, I found no one. I did bump into a red-faced Ginny though. Her face was streaked with tears, and she kept breaking into new fits of sobs. She kept trying to tell me something, but all that she got out was "Hospital Wing."_

_I tried to comfort her, but, she kept pushing away and finally, she ran away, bursting into a fresh fit of tears… Now, I was really curious as to what could have caused her to become so distraught, so, I decided to act on the only thing I had – Hospital Wing. I didn't know what to expect when I got there; I didn't really stop to think about it, actually. I just, sort of, ran towards the Hospital Wing._

_Well, what I saw was a shock – I wasn't prepared for it… I can't believe it was real... I just, can't… It can't be!! _

_It was… oh, it was horrible! I just ran in there… And… And… And I saw him there… And… Oh, Merlin… How could that happen?! And to HIM… Why to HIM!! HIM of all people!! He's already got so much… _

_At least he wasn't in pain. Thank Merlin for those potions… If he was in a muggle hospital… Oh, Merlin… I don't even want to think of the possibilities. _

_He looks so peaceful; so serene; so calm… He looks like an angel… If I couldn't see his chest rise and fall with every breath he took I would think that he was truly an angel – a fallen angel. And he was so close… So close to the end… But it wasn't his time… He's got so much more to do…_

_And he will wake up. He will! I know it! He has to… Already, everything feels strange without him… I just wish I knew that he would come back to us soon… I wish I knew that he would be alright… _

_If only he hadn't gone out to play Quidditch! If only it hadn't been storming! Oh, if only he hadn't reached for the Snitch… If he had just let it go, then the… Oh, Merlin… If he had only been a few centimeters over… If only that stupid Snitch hadn't gone there! _

_Oh Merlin, what if he never waked up?! What if he never comes to us?! Oh, Merlin… I don't know what I would do without him… He's my best friend – he's like a brother to me! He was there for me whenever I needed him… And then, the one time that he needs my help – I can't give it to him… It's just another battle that he has to fight for himself…_

_At least Ron was there… The moment I laid eyes on Harry; lying in the bed in the Hospital Wing; I started to bawl my eyes out… At least Ron was there… He held me… He comforted me… I don't know what I would have done without him… I didn't want to let go of him… He's all that I have left. We were the closest to Harry… And now, all we have is each other. I'm sure that, together, we can make it through… We have to be strong… For… For Harry…_

**~*~**

_October 7th,_

_I've no idea how long I stayed up just crying… But, I'm in for more of it tonight – I've already started… I just can't believe that Harry isn't here… Madam Pomfrey said that he was the only one that could help himself, and that we would just have to wait… Oh, I hate this! It's just not the same without seeing Harry's deep green eyes, hidden behind those glasses; his untidy black hair… I don't know much longer it will be until he wakes up… But, quite frankly, I don't even know how much longer I can hold out._

_Thank Merlin that Ron's there… He's going through the same thing as I am, pretty much… We were both close to Harry; and to not have him with us is just so… Strange… Ron knows when I feel especially sad… And then, he just holds me… He holds me until I can gather myself up and face the world. Sometimes, I wish that he wouldn't let go… I feel so safe when his arms are wrapped around me – it's like nothing in the world can harm me._

_It just so happens that Draco followed by Crabbe and Goyle, saw us one particular time. Of course, they couldn't resist slipping in a little remark. And, although Draco's cruel words hurt, they didn't seem to be out of spite… It may just be me, but, there was something about them that made me think that he was saying them for the sake of his reputation – as if he didn't want to say them._

_And I could swear that he turned around and looked at me sadly right before he left… Ron was positively seething with rage by the time Draco had left… I don't know what made him not take action and just keep holding me, but, whatever it was – I'm grateful for it. _

_Classes were so strange without Harry… I have Defense Against the Dark Arts and Transfiguration with him on Mondays, so, I'm usually his partner when we practice… And just his presence makes it easier to go on – he's been through so much, and to see him laughing and talking is enough to make anyone go on. I think that everyone felt the same way… Classes went by so slowly, and there wasn't the same happy atmosphere as there normally is… Harry has no idea how much he's missed._

_In all of my classes, I only copied notes… Lots of people complained about having to write notes all day long, but, I'm glad we did… To perform proper magic, you must be able to fully concentrate… I could barely eat my lunch without struggling not to break down. To have me attempt a spell would just not work out… Who knows what I would end up doing?_

_After my last class of the day – Astronomy – I decided to stay in the __Astronomy__Tower__ and just look out and think. No one ever went up there, so, I knew that I wouldn't be disturbed. It was then that I remembered, not too long ago, how Harry comforted me… I just broke down and cried… I just cried and cried… Finally, I was out of tears, and I knew that I had to go on. I couldn't keep crying – Harry wouldn't want that. _

_I never realized how much I took him for granted. I always just assumed that he would always be there, and never really thought of him as something that important… Don't get me wrong, I always thought of him as someone important; and integral part of my life. But, now that he's not there… You know, I never told him how much he meant to me… In fact, I don't think that I ever told him how much I loved him, and how special he was to me… _

_"**Never Take Someone For Granted... You'll Never Know When They'll Be Gone… And It Will Be Too Late To Tell Them How You Really Feel**" My mother always said that… I kept it stored in the back of my mind, but, I never really thought much of it… It's so true… So very, very true… I shouldn't have taken him for granted; I should have always told him how much he meant to me – how special he made me feel… And now, now it's too late… He's gone now – not forever… But until he wakes up – it will be forever to me. _

_The moment that he wakes up – I swear that I'm going to tell him how wonderful he is; how much I love him – everything that I've kept to myself and failed to tell him. And I'm not just going to tell him._

_Oh no, there are so many other people that I take for granted; people that I don't tell how I really feel. They all have to know – before it's too late… I need to tell everyone how important they are to me; how much they mean to me; how I can't imagine my life without them! They deserve to know – and I won't be able to live with myself until I finally tell them all. _

_After I finally calmed down in the __Astronomy__Tower__, I decided to visit Harry… I knew that it was no use; since he wasn't awake. But, just having him near me might help me. Nobody was there – the Hospital Wing was completely deserted. Harry just looked so peaceful and serene… I just took a nearby chair, and sat down near his bed… I started talking to him as if he was there – even though I knew that he wasn't._

_I told him everything that I had wanted to tell him… I know that he probably couldn't hear me, but, what if he could? What if he could hear every word I said? I kept telling myself that there was still a chance that he COULD hear me… So I kept talking. I talked until Madam Pomfrey came up and asked me whether or not I wanted to go for dinner. _

_I didn't want to leave Harry, but, I was feeling quite empty… I have a feeling that I'm going to be going back to visit him quite often until he finally wakes up – until he comes back to us. And everyday, I'll tell him how wonderful he is, and how much I care about him. It may not mean anything to him while he's sleeping, but, I just keep thinking that maybe it may do something… I've read so many stories about remarkable recoveries all because someone was talking to them… And maybe, just maybe, me telling Harry all of this will help him… Maybe if he knows what an impact he's made in my life, then he'll push a bit more every time until he's finally back…_

_I tried to put on an act and be all happy and cheery so that no one would wonder what was going on… No one has to know about what I'm hiding behind my smile… Though I will tell everyone how I feel, they don't need to know how I feel at this moment… I don't think that anyone suspected anything – I can be a good actress if it's needed… _

_After dinner, I got the Boomslang Skin that I needed for the potion, and headed down to the bathroom. Myrtle was there, so, while I waited for the right time, I chatted with her… She was the first person – other than Harry – that I told my feelings to. Even though she may not be an overly close friend, I still consider her a good friend of mine. Many people would consider me insane – for saying that about a ghost, let alone Moaning Myrtle – but I don't care. She's a wonderful person, well, ghost… And she's great to talk to… _

_In the middle of our conversation though, she reminded me about my potion – just in time! If she hadn't said anything, then the potion would have been worthless, and I would have had to start over. I don't know how I manage to put everything in at the exact same time, but, I'm just happy that it all works out. _

_As I stirred the potion, the potion changed from the soft starry white into a murkish green. I left shortly after I finished stirring, and decided to head to the Common Room… I had some homework that I really wanted to get out of the way, and it would get my mind off of Harry for a while…_

_No one bothered me – they must have known that I wanted to be left alone. I got all of my homework done – I worked well into the night. Once I finished, I wasn't tired enough to go to sleep, so, I decided that I may as well look through that book again… I haven't looked through it in a while, so, perhaps looking at it with fresh eyes will help a bit. _

_I've been reading and rereading the beginning of that book – hoping to get some more ideas. I'm taking a short break right now to gather my thoughts, and to just get away from that book… It's so confusing; not knowing what the book is about… I've had enough of it, quite frankly… _

_My thoughts keep drifting back to Harry… All of these horrible possibilities keep flying through my mind… I know that they're far-fetched, but… I'm just so scared… I know that Harry will get up… I know that he'll be fine… Until then though… I'll just have to wait… _

_Oh, I feel so tired… But I've so much on my mind – Harry. I just… I just hope that I can see those eyes again sometimes soon… I don't want to have to wait too long…_

**~*~**

_October 8th,_

_I'm getting stronger… It's getting easier… I can do this… Harry will be back soon, and until he's back – I'll just live my life as normally as I can. See, when I woke up this morning, I decided that there was no point in crying and being frustrated – so, I decided that from then on, I would stay strong, and be happy._

_I hate how I've sounded in these past entries… I mean, the way I wrote everything makes it sound as though Harry was… Dead. He's not! He's not! He's not! He's alive… And soon, he's going to be back with us – laughing; smiling; talking; eating; hugging; playing… Soon, Hermione… Soon… I just have to wait…_

_What a dreadful day! There I was, so sure that I could just have a normal day, trying hard without Harry… And then I have a horrid day! You'd think that I would get a break – it's bad enough that Harry's not here and that that person is still after me… And yet, I get stuck with a miserable day! Is it really that much to ask for a calm day? _

_For one thing, I woke up late. For once, I'm grateful for Grace's screams… I don't know why, but she just loves to scream in the early morning – she says that it wakes her up – not to mention the rest of the castle! Honestly – how loud can one girl scream?! Although, I must say, if it wasn't for her scream, then I wouldn't have woken up when I had… I had to rush around to get ready since – I've been a muggle for too long to remember to use a spell to get everything ready. _

_It wouldn't have been that bad – rushing that it. But, since I was also rushing to get some breakfast and eat it, I spilt my orange juice on me, and managed to get jam on my shirt. This time though, I used a spell to quickly remove it. It's not as effective as washing it – it only makes the stain invisible. As soon as all of my classes were done and over with – I changed into something clean. Even though it's not visible, doesn't mean that you can't feel it._

_Unfortunately, I spent quite a bit of time trying to remember that spell – so, I had to run all the way to Potions. I was out of breath, and Snape closed the door behind him JUST as I was about to walk in. He probably knew that I was there and did it out of spite. Honestly! That man can be so vile at times… I have to keep reminding myself of all that he's probably been though, and all that he's done for our side to keep from hexing him when I get especially angry._

_I just sort of stood there for a moment before I realized what had just happened… Then, I took some time to calm down so that I wouldn't explode, took a deep breath, and walked into the Potions' dungeon. The moment I walked in, all eyes turned on me – Hermione Granger, late?! I could tell from their expressions that that was what they thought… I didn't want to get into trouble, so, I decided to just casually slip into a seat, and ignore everyone's stares and concentrate on Potions. Well, things didn't work out exactly how I had hoped…'_

_For one thing, I slipped on the remains of a potion on the floor, and fell flat on my back just as I was walking in. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry… So, I just got up, trying to pretend that nothing happened. But, Jason, a Slytherin with whom I have potions with, decided to be difficult. He decided to shout out 'Walk much!' just as I was picking myself up off the ground. Several of the Slytherins in the class laughed – but, I've long ago stopped caring what they think._

_They're just a bunch of cruel people who care about nothing but themselves. They find pleasure in inflicting pain on others, and I want nothing to do with them. They're highly ambitious, and don't let ANYTHING stand in their way - no matter what. Of course, there ARE some exceptions. According to Hogwarts, a History and the Sorting Hat, they're only ambitious and cunning. I've met several Slytherins that are quite nice; but put on an act when surrounded by other Slytherins. It's quite sad, actually…_

_I didn't really stop to think about where I would sit – I just sort of figured that there would be an empty seat somewhere nearby – there were none. I scanned the room as casually as I could, and started to blush red before Jason cleared his throat, smirked, and looked to the spot next to him – empty – the ONLY empty one in the room. So, I took my things, and went to that seat. What a lovely start for the day._

_The Potions class went by better than I had expected… We were brewing the Fluto Potion – it's supposed to keep you afloat in water. I do hope that mine turned out alright… Snape collected them at the end of class so that he could mark them. The only thing bad about the class was that Jason kept hissing 'Mudblood' at me under his breath… It's pathetic how he thinks that his one and only insult can hurt me… I've become desensitized to it thanks to Malfoy. Besides, you'd think that he could be creative… Maybe, oh, I don't know… Asking me how I can see from behind all of that bushy hair or something… _

_After Potions I had to run outside to the grounds for Care of Magical Creatures… Luckily, I wasn't late. And, even if it was, I'm sure that Hagrid would have understood. Hagrid brought in a Fire Crab… Now, they're quite interesting creatures, but, it's really quite an easily frightened creature. I was leaning in to take a closer look at it, and, well, it must have thought that I was trying to attack it… And when Fire Crabs think they're being attacked – they shoot flames out of their rear ends… It's times like these that I'm amazed at how wonderful magic is…_

_Hagrid__ had Sarah; a Hufflepuff from the class, to rush me over to the Hospital Wing so that Madam Pomfrey could get rid of the burn – we had managed to stop the fire, but, I was left with a singed shirt, and a nasty burn on my stomach. The Fire Crabs don't look very vicious, but, believe me; when they burn, they BURN. Luckily, Madam Pomfrey could easily heal a burn with the flick of a wand. I still had to hold an ice pack to get rid of the redness – there are somethings magic just can't fix… After I changed my shirt, I went back to the class. Although, I stayed a good deal away from the Fire Crab for the remainder of the class – I did not want to get burned again._

_After Care of Magical Creatures it was time for lunch. I wasn't really hungry, so, I decided to stay with Hagrid for a bit until he went inside to eat. We just chatted while he put away the Fire Crab, and got the things he needed for his next class ready. It was small talk, really – just an excuse to talk. Until, of course, we got onto the topic of Harry… _

_We ended up skipping lunch and went into Hagrid's hut to drink some tea while we talked about Harry… I don't know how we started that discussion – it's as if one moment, we were talking about the weather, and the next – Harry. Hagrid had to get something from inside his hut, so, I just followed him in, and we stayed there since that was when we got on the topic of Harry… _

_I've no idea how I managed not to cry – I felt like I was about to burst into tears throughout the whole time. I just felt the need to be strong. And, I remembered what I had told myself when I woke up – about how I wouldn't breakdown and cry anymore. That's going to be a big help until Harry comes back – something that I hope will happen soon._

_We talked about from the moment we met him, up until our most recent memories of him. We weren't even really talking – just sharing memories of Harry. It really helped… Talking about it to someone ALWAYS helps… And the thing is, we weren't even really talking… It was more like, talking, but to ourselves – for our own sake. I know it doesn't really make much sense when it's written, but, I just don't know how to explain it – it's hard to explain this sort of thing. Sure, I can explain a complex potion or charm to someone, but, when it comes to my own feelings… I just have trouble with that._

_We forgot about the time, and I was nearly late for History of Magic – thank goodness that the classroom is nearby, and that some students decided to arrive early. I was actually one of the first people to arrive at the History of Magic classroom. I chatted a bit with Cassie – she's a Hufflepuff in quite a few of my classes. We didn't get too much time to chat though – Professor Binns came in shortly after, and everyone else drifted into the class. _

_History of Magic is my smallest class – almost everybody dropped it as soon as they had the chance. I know that Professor Binns can be a tad boring at times, but, history is just so fascinating! I just take what he's taught us and find out more about it or re-teach it to myself so that it's more interesting. I've actually been wondering whether or not I should start a group for it… Basically, if someone wanted to be taught History of Magic in a non-boring form, then I would do it for them… It would be like a small tutoring session; but with other people from their year. I don't know whether or not I'm going to do it, but, I'm sure that at least a few people would turn up…_

_I'll talk to a few of my closer friends about it and see what they think. I told Cassie about it – she thought it was a great idea. She said that if I DID start it, then she would definitely go. We talked about it and ideas for it on our way to Arithmancy, and while we waited for the class to start as well. Cassie thinks that a lot of people would show up since they need to pass History of Magic, and it would be much easier if someone other than Professor Binns explained it._

_I'm still not sure about it yet, but, I probably AM going to start it. I'll think about it, and maybe start it next week, or something. Then again, I don't really have much of a choice… Cassie told a few people about it while we were going to Arithmancy. Most of them thought that it was a great idea too, and that they would show up for sure. _

_It shouldn't be that hard to do make it all interesting, and I remember all of the important facts… The only problem would be meeting times – there would be so many people that there would be conflicting schedules. Well, I still have quite a bit of time to think about that, so, I'm not going to worry about that just now._

_After Arithmancy, I decided to visit Harry and just sit there and chat. It's quite comforting to just go there and talk about anything. I find that saying things out loud really helps if you have a problem or to clear your mind… So, I brought my homework, and, while I did it, I was talking to Harry… _

_Ron came in while I was talking about the meetings I wanted to start. I didn't notice – everything seems to fade away when I talk about things that I truly care about. So, there I was, going on and on about how I felt about forming that club, and Ron walks in. Now, I know that it's not embarrassing, but, Ron couldn't help but tease me… He just happened to walk in when I was talking about the importance of history to witches and wizards. Honestly, what's so bad about finding school important?_

_Then, there's also the fact that I was talking to Harry… Ron asked me if I was alright – he probably thought that I was crazy. After a while thought, that was forgotten. For a few moments, we just sort of sat on opposite sides of Harry and looked at him, or at things around the room. Then we started to make small talk. It felt a bit awkward between us though… There was this tension everytime that there was a lull in the conversation. _

_I suppose that Harry's presence kept the peace between us, and kept the tension and awkwardness away… We kept getting into insignificant little rows for no reason at all… They were so pathetic and pointless… I know that we argue quite a bit, but, it's not like we do it ALL the time – it seems like, lately, whenever we're together; we constantly fight. It's quite annoying actually, but, I just can't help it… I just have to voice my opinion and tell him what I think. We have such different opinions and views… _

_We stayed there for quite some time. It was dinnertime when we were just getting up to leave. We were practically out the door when I felt something. I don't know what it was, but, it made me stop for a moment. Ron said to ignore it, so, we just went on. But then, I felt it again – it was as if someone was trying to contact me. I just… I just had this – this feeling. So, I told Ron that I would be right there if he would just give me a moment. Ron left without a second thought – hunger was calling._

_I decided to wait a few minutes, and, if anything happened, then I would decide from there. I looked around the Hospital Wing, and, for some reason, my eyes stopped on Harry. He looked… Different. I don't know how he did, just… Did. I wasn't sure what I should do – should I call someone? Should I leave? Or, what? Well, before I could react, I heard someone breathing. It was heavy breathing – as if frightened, but not… _

_No one else was in the Hospital Wing with me; except for Harry. But it couldn't have been him… At least, that's what I thought. I leant in closer to Harry's bed to see if it was him. As I was looking at him for any signs of awakening, I saw his eyes flutter open. And then, I found myself staring into his emerald green eyes. _

_I was so happy to see him awake that I scream – at the top of my lungs! I almost immediately clamped my hand over my mouth – Harry's hearing must have been quite sensitive. I was just so happy though – he was finally awake!! After I finally calmed down and took a seat by him, Harry asked where he was – so I answered, the Hospital Wing. He sort of nodded – it was as if the answer was meaningless. I didn't think anything of it, but, now, it's making me wonder…_

_Then, he asked me what he was doing in the Hospital Wing. Well, I myself didn't know why – I hadn't really bothered to ask anybody.  Luckily, Madam Pomfrey came in. She must have heard my scream and came to see what had happened. Well, as soon as she saw that Harry was awake, she shooed me out and got busy helping Harry. I was just so ecstatic that he was awake that I didn't care what she did to him. Although, it would have been nice if I had gotten to spend a bit more time with him… _

_I went straight for the Great Hall; I was quite hungry. Everyone around me was chatting animatedly about their days and about the latest gossip. This time, I actually took part in them… How can you not be happy and not sulk when your best friend has woken up?! It was all random insignificant chatter, but, it was still something that you could easily get sucked into and addicted to hearing. Lavender, Parvati, and I just chatted about the latest gossip, who was seeing who, and other girl stuff like that. I must say, it is quite nice to do that once in a while…_

_I didn't tell anyone about Harry though. For one thing, I was actually quite into the conversations going around me, so, I was a bit busy with that. Then there's the fact that I didn't really want to… See, if everybody knew that Harry was awake, then they would all rush there and he would feel smothered… Madam Pomfrey would get angry, and we would talk about nothing else but that. And, tonight, I felt like talking about pointless things that won't have a huge impact on my life – just gossip. _

_Also, I wanted it to myself. That sounds quite strange, but, I liked the fact that I was the only one that knew about Harry… It's quite silly, but, well, that's just me. Besides, I would have more time with him alone. Because, by the time everyone knows, they're all going to rush over, and I'm not going to get a chance to talk to him until much later._

_So, tomorrow, I'm going to see Harry during lunch, and then tell everyone after classes are over. It's much more logical that way – no one's going to think that I'm hiding it… I don't know why I'm so worried about that actually. _

_Anyways…__ Lavender fell asleep quite early, so, Parvati and I were left to continue our late not gossip session. But, Parvati drifted off to sleep soon after that. I'm not very tired, so, I decided to write about everything… There's just something about nighttime that makes me want to do something._

_I don't know why the night has such an effect on me… Perhaps it's the fact that it's dark, and that makes everything all hidden and mysterious – as if you can get away with anything. Or, maybe it's because I'm always busy in the day with school and homework that at night I just feel the need to go wild… Whatever it is though – it sure keeps me from sleeping…_

**~*~**

_October 9th,_

_What a beautiful morning! Isn't life simply wonderful? The moment I woke up; I knew that it would be an amazing day. It was just… One of THOSE days. One of those days when everything seems to go your way… It's as if everything is perfect for you – for that one day. Then, the next, it's back to normal…_

_I woke up all smiling and happy for no reason at all… I was walking around the entire day with this HUGE smile plastered on my face – grinning like a maniac at anyone and everyone – even more so than when I felt that freedom a while back…_

_I'm sure that everyone thought that I had gone insane. After all, what kind of person wakes up at 4 o'clock in the morning, watches the sunset, jumps around the grounds, then heads in for breakfast with a gigantic smile on their face? I could see their looks… And good! Let them think I've gone mad. _

_It was as if nothing was standing in my way today – nothing could bring me down! I was full of energy, and I felt like just skipping classes and doing whatever I wanted to do. Of course, I could never do that. I'm at Hogwarts for a reason, after all. It's a wonder I even got accepted; I can't just go around skipping classes and having fun while I should be learning. But still, you must admit, it would be quite exhilarating…_

_All through breakfast I chatted with everybody around me. There were conversations coming at me from every direction – it was actually a tad confusing. Quite a few people came up to me and asked me about the History of Magic club – I told them that I was going to have it. After all… Why not?! _

_I even scheduled the first meeting. It's for the Seventh Years, and it's going to be this Saturday in the afternoon. All of the Seventh Year Gryffindors that are taking History of Magic said that they would be there. The majority of the Hufflepuffs said that they would go as well; and quite a few Ravenclaws told me that they would come. I can't wait – it should be quite an interesting afternoon._

_I'll never forget the look on Snape's face when I walked into his class all smiling and in a cheerful mood. No one walks into the dungeons happy – it was quite amusing to see everybody's reactions. It wasn't as though they were overly surprised, but, I could tell that they were a bit surprised that someone was actually in high spirits at the start of a Potions class._

_We were brewing a Confusing Concoction today. Snape decided to put us into pairs with our least favourite people, as usual. He's getting to be quite predictable with these partnerships. I mean, Neville is always with Pansy or Millicent, or one of the Slytherin girls. I'm always with Draco; since Harry doesn't have Potions with me. And Ron always gets Crabbe or Goyle. You'd think that Snape could spice it up a bit, and perhaps change the partnerships? Ah well; I don't mind working with Draco. We have a mutual relationship now; sort of._

_We set to work right away on brewing the Confusing Concoction. Draco prepared most of the ingredients while I got everything else ready and set up to actually brew the potion. _

_I kept humming under my breath, and, ever so often, it would get a touch louder. Soon enough, I was humming quite loudly. Then, someone joined in. And then, someone else did. Soon enough, all of the students, apart from the Slytherins, was humming. Snape was positively fuming. In Potions, you always work in silence – you don't hum. But, like I said, it was one of THOSE days… Besides what was he going to do, take points off for humming? Actually, I'm surprised that he didn't._

_By the time that it was time to actually brew the potion though, I stopped humming. There were a few people left humming, but, much softer than before. I need total concentration when I'm brewing a potion – everything must be perfect for it to work. Luckily I wasn't paired with Crabbe. Poor Ron – they had to redo their potion several times since Crabbe kept knocking things into the cauldron – although, I suspect that several times it was on prupose._

_Draco__ and I finished our potions quite fast, and looked around the class as it simmered and sat; waiting to be flasked and handed to Snape to be graded. I was going to start humming again, but, I think that Draco gathered that much since he told me not to. Honestly, it's just HUMMING; it's never hurt anyone before._

_The remainder of the class went by quite fast, and as soon as everyone else was done, we took a sample of our potion and put it on Snape's desk. Everyone seemed to make a run for the doors to leave the dungeons as soon as possible – no one likes to stay in them longer than necessary. _

_I caught up to Ron who had been one of the first to get out. We went to the Great Hall together. There was a big difference though… Ron walked along looking sad and hunched over as if thinking and depressed; whereas I skipped – literally skipped, all the way to the Great Hall. That only added to my "insanity" – after all, I had just finished Potions. _

_I decided to grab something to eat and then head over to the Hospital Wing to see Harry for a bit. I figured that he would probably be hungry as well; seeing as how Madam Pomfrey probably wouldn't let him eat much other than chocolate or her potions. _

_Madam Pomfrey was reluctant to let me in, but, I convinced her to let me in for just five minutes. Although, there was this look in her; this look that I couldn't quite understand. I wonder what it was…_

_Harry was awake when I went into the Hospital Wing; and he looked quite happy to see me. We didn't get to chat for too long though. True to her word, Madam Pomfrey gave me exactly five minutes. I promised Harry that I would visit him later in the afternoon after classes were over – he seemed happy enough with that answer._

_Having seen Harry and having gotten the chance to chat with him, I bounced along to the Ancient Runes classroom. That class went by quite fast, actually. The study of Runes is really quite fascinating. It's like this one big puzzle. And to solve it, you need to figure out what each little piece is… Most people don't like Runes because it's so much work decoding everything, but, once you're done it all, it's amazing to think that you actually translated something from symbols to English…_

_Charms seemed to go by in a blur! We practiced the 'Simulo Charm' for the entire lesson. By the end of the class, we ended up with duplicates of pretty much everything in the classroom. Professor Flitwick said that we would be practicing duplicating people in our next class, and perhaps even ourselves. The replicas of people won't do anything – they'd just stand there. It takes quite advanced magic to make them speak or move._

_After all of my classes were over, I decided to go to the Common Room to do my homework before visiting Harry. By then, everybody had heard that Harry was fine, so, they were all rushing to the Hospital Wing to see him. That meant that I had nearly the entire Common Room to myself – free of distractions._

_I finished all of my homework within two hours, and then I decided to try and translate that book again… It's a bit like my Runes translations… Except, with Runes, I have a key that I know of, and I can make out everything. In this book, the writing is faded, and there's a certain code that I still need to decipher. At least I'm not completely oblivious as to what's in the book – I know a few of the words._

_It takes forever to figure out what the words are… If only it wasn't so faded… Then I could figure out faster. Somehow, I think that maybe it's only English – perhaps olden English? Mixed with some code? Oh, it's so complicated! But, I can do it. Like all things in the world, it'll take time. But, eventually, I'll be able to read that entire book and understand it. I just wish that it would be sooner rather than later._

_Well, I put the book down after the words started to blur in front of me. That book is going to drive me crazy! I wish I could understand it… I hate not knowing what it all means… There's something important bout that book – I can feel it. And I just hope that I figure it out before it's too late…_

_I visited Harry after dinner – but then, everybody was rushing to finish up homework that they had left for the last minute. Everybody was done visiting Harry, and they wanted to go and have fun at night – it was the perfect time to visit. _

_Ron decided to come with me; even though he had spent practically the entire day in the Hospital Wing with everyone anyways. But, it was quite nice how it was just the three of us again. It felt like we were back in our younger years… Back when we were closer… _

_We chatted a great deal, but, Madam Pomfrey kicked us out after an hour and a half. She said that Harry needed his rest, and that we could visit him tomorrow. I don't know why she doesn't just let him leave – he's perfectly fine. I suppose she just wants to make sure, but still. It's not good to miss too many classes…_

_After Ron and I left the Hospital Wing, we went to the Common Room for a bit. But, soon after, we had to head out for Prefect duties. Nobody was outside after hours, and we were getting quite tired, so, we didn't stay out too late. We went back to the Common Room quite early actually. _

_I went straight up to the dormitory after I bid everyone a good-night. I'm so tired! But I had such a brilliant day! Tomorrow's going to come too soon… _

**~*~**

**A/N : **Fluto = _Latin_. Meaning – to float.

          Simulo = _Latin_. Meaning – to copy.

**_Fire Crab: _**Despite its name, the fire crab resembles a large tortoise with a heavily jewelled shell. The fire crab has its own defensive mechanism: It shoots flames from its rear end when attacked. Fire crabs are exported as pets. _(Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them)_


	12. Chapter 12

**Underneath it All**

**A/N : **I am SOSOSOSOSOSOSOSOSOSO sorry that it took this long to update. This is going to be the longest time that it's ever going to take – I like to post the chapters every weekend, if not during the week if I have enough time. So, sorry about this, but, I was quite busy, and when I wasn't, I my muse just wasn't there… So, again, I'm really sorry, and I hope you like this chapter – even if it's not the best one. The next one will be better – I promise! =D

**DISCLAIMER :**** All characters and places came from the brilliant mind of JK Rowling. **

Reviews –

          _Thanks…_
    
    **hp/****charmed obsesed **- Whoops! Thanks for catching that. It's fixed now. =) 
    
                            **ghypscee**** - Thanks! Sorry about all of those threads but, they do have to do with the plot – it takes time to reveal it, but, everything is going to be in it. I can use less if you want. **
    
    **1. Sorry about holding the story hostage – I won't do it again. It sounds so funny when you say it… **
    
    **2. Yes, I do have a plan and plot – everything is connected. You'll just have to wait to find it all out. It's not like in life there is only one thing going on. There are always plenty of things going on that are connected with the pig picture. And, in a diary, you write about all of them; at least, I do. I tried to make it realistic – and perhaps your perspective of life is different from mine. **
    
    **~**
    
    **A)Well she can't very well destroy Voldemort for him, now can she? ****B)That's going to be revealed when they have their next encounter with Voldemort. ****C)A gift from an anonymous person. ****D)He didn't know that he was going to break up with her when he bought it for her, though. **E)**Well she didn't really have a choice since Ollivander wouldn't tell her anything. But, being Hermione, she went and researched it. **F)**OK, that part I understand, sorry about that everyone. But I was tired, it was the middle of the night, and I wanted to get this chapter up since it had been a while. In the future, I'll be more careful about that. **G)**In time that will be revealed… ; ) It's not just there for no reason. **H)**Well she had to get caught – it wouldn't be that interesting if she went there, got her wand, and just went back. **I)**Again, that will be revealed in time. **J)**That's actually going to be revealed in this chapter, lolz. ****K)The Draco and the attacker ones? Well, the Draco one is a room that he found while exploring the castle. It's just his own private place to go. The attacker one is a secret room that the attacker found that they thought would be perfect for attacking. You'll find out how at the end of this chapter. **L)**Friendships always change, and that's how it is with most of them – wavering attention. Most of everything from this story is based on past experiences that I thought, if changed around a bit, would fit with the story. **M)**Hermione's the type of person that wouldn't really hate anyone just because they're a Slytherin (at least, that's what I think). She does feel some prejudice towards them after all that she's heard, but, she doesn't hate them. I incorporated the Pansy incident so that Hermione could get to know more of the Slytherins – again, revealed later on. ****N)You'll see… ; ) Our little Hermione is a lot more powerful and intelligent than we all think – she just doesn't know it yet. ; ) **O)**I picture her feeling that way – sorry if you don't like it. **
    
                            **noseyMCnosey**** - Thanks! =) Yup, the whole Harry incident is going to be explained in this chapter. The necklace, like many other things, isn't going to be explained until the Voldemort enoucnter. **
    
                            **lavender**** mansworth - Oh wow… Thank you so much!! I can't believe that you stayed up until 1 in the morning reading my story!! I just… Wow! Thank you… Thank you so much!!! Here, have a cyber… Ice cream cone! Lolz.**
    
                            **Kiyoko - Aw thanks! You're review really made me happy, lolz. It's just that my computer was messing around with me, and then I login to find a really nice review. =) By the way, I really like your username – it's awesome! Lolz.**
    
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_                   **Now we begin…**_

_October 10th,_

_Well, I finally learnt why Harry was in the Hospital Wing – sort of. I was talking to Ginny this morning during breakfast, and I asked her about it. I don't know why I hadn't asked her before… I suppose I wasn't really thinking. I was so worried about Harry, that I didn't really stop to ask. Seems like that would be the first thing that I would do, too… _

_I already knew that there was a Quidditch practice that evening, so, I assumed that perhaps he had fallen of his broom and got knocked unconscious. It seems though, that he just sort of… Disappeared for a few minutes in the middle of the practice. No one really noticed since they just assumed that he had gone to the bathroom, or was flying after the Snitch – they were too absorbed in their own little practices to notice if he was flying very fast. After about 15 minutes though, Harry STILL hadn't returned. Everyone was getting a bit worried, so, they started to look for him. But, before they got anywhere, Harry came back. Everyone started to practice again, but, a few minutes into the practice, Harry veered of course, and hit the Whomping Willow! Well, the Whomping Willow doesn't like to be hit… Somehow, his broom didn't get destroyed, but Harry ended up falling to the floor, unconscious._

_Everyone thought that the wind had pushed him off course, but, I've seen Harry play in windy conditions, and he never loses control. Especially not as easily as everyone said he did this time. Ginny also mentioned that there was something different about him – she said that he didn't say anything, and the way he carried himself was different from usual. She also said that he seemed a tad lost – a common side effect of an 'Obliviate' Charm. _

_I wonder, if, perhaps Harry was attacked by one of Voldemort's supporters – if not Voldemort himself. But, why would they Obliviate him? Everybody knows that Voldemort is back in action once more; even those who refuse to believe it know that he's back. Could it be to hide their identity? I'm probably wrong about the whole deatheater theory, but, what other explanation could there be? It's not like Harry to act clueless and disappear for quite some time from a Quidditch practice…_

_I asked Madam Pomfrey if Harry had been Obliviated – she asked me where I got such crazy ideas. So, I decided to talk to the only person that could possible know – Harry. At first, I just chatted about normal things – school, homework, friends. Then, I got onto the topic of Quidditch – at which point, Harry said that he had a Quidditch practice tomorrow. But, that didn't add up – Ginny told me that he hadn't scheduled a practice for then. So, I asked him about the Quidditch practice where he had ended up in the hospital. He just looked at me, and asked me what I was talking about – there hadn't been a Quidditch practice. _

_So, I asked him how he had ended up in the Hospital Wing; and he just shrugged and mumbled something about Madam Pomfrey and turned away, suddenly becoming interested in the wall to his left – he didn't know. Obviously, Harry had been Obliviated, but, I decided to see how far back – what else he had "forgotten." He remembered everything except for that Quidditch practice. So, that must mean that something had happened then that someone had wanted him to forget… But who? And what? _

_There was nobody else that could possibly know, except for whoever had Obliviated Harry – and nobody knew who that was. In fact, nobody but me knew that Harry had even been Obliviated. I've been wondering what I could do all day – but so far, I haven't been able to think of anything. Obliviation is a tricky business that is irreversible… It's only used when absolutely necessary – the majority of the time on muggles who have seen magic, or who have had relationships that didn't work out with wizards or witches._

_I'm completely opposed to Obliviation though. What's the point of forgetting things in your life? Others do it to you, but, really, why bother? They'll forget what you want them to forget, yes, but, whatever happened in that situation could have changed their life for the better. And, without whatever happened, their lives will be completely different… And I absolutely hate how it's always muggles that are being Obliviated. Why can't they just know about magic? They can't hurt us – magic can defeat even their worst weapons if it comes down to it. And life would be so much easier if muggles and witches and wizards could live in peace together… _

_Not all wizards are prejudiced against muggles; just as not all muggles would be prejudiced to wizards. Obviously, there would be several exceptions to this, but, we would be able to get along after everyone got used to that fact… Life would be so much easier for witches and wizards that live in muggle communities… And we would also be stronger on the Voldemort front – we would have the majority of muggles, of not all, on our side. Even though they can't do magic, they can still prove to be a distraction, and with magical people with them that can fight off curses… We would have a better chance of winning the war. _

_Unfortunately, Fudge and all of the others up high in the Ministry of Magic that could do this don't want to do it… They think that everything they do is right, and they only do things that could be profitable for THEM – not for the magical community! They accept bribes quite easily if it means that their bags will be filled with Galleons - what does it matter if it can hurt others; as long as they're fine… They say that they're against something, but, the moment that they think we're not looking, they go off and accept bribes from people that want them to look the other way… And it's sad how they actually do it!_

_I never really knew as a child what I wanted to do with my life as I got older; and with the many more options that came with becoming a witch, that just made everything harder. At first, I wanted to turn S.P.E.W. into something more; to get more people involved and to help house-elves. But, I've come to realize that, perhaps Ron was right all along… Perhaps there are some house-elves that actually like to serve people… Although, I'm still not going to order them around – though they may like helping, they should still be treated as everyone else._

_So, I've decided to try and get a job in the Ministry. That way, I can start small, and slowly work my way up – who knows how far I'll go? And once I'm up, closer to the top, with the power to make a difference – I'll do it. The people in the Ministry right now don't know what they're doing – it's about time somebody showed them; and if it's me, then all the better. Perhaps I'll even become Minister for Magic… Then, I could change it all for the better… That's quite a far-fetched dream though. It's one thing to be in the Ministry, but to be Minister?   
  
Oh, that would be the day… Would Voldemort and his deatheaters be mad! Imagine that… A mudblood as their Minister – no more bribing to get their way… If only that would happen… But, then again, who's to say that it can't? After all, who knows what will happen years from now? Maybe, just maybe, I'LL be Minister for Magic…_

_Actually, I don't care who's Minister for Magic; just so long as they can actually do the job, and do it well – unlike Fudge. In the beginning, he was not a terrible Minister – perhaps that has something to do with the fact that he always went to Dumbledore. But, then, his ambition took over him… And now, he's just a corrupt old fool! He's just like a Slytherin – ambitious and cunning, and always out to help themselves._

_Perhaps if he hadn't gotten such a big head, and had kept listening to Dumbledore, or at least considering the facts, then the magical community would have been sooner informed about Voldemort. In fact, he STILL refuses to believe that Voldemort is back – and he was there right after it happened! Thank Merlin that there were others there that the public believed… If he keeps denying Voldemort's return, then we may lose so many innocent lives! After all; all that is necessary for evil to succeed is for a good man to do nothing. Now, Fudge may not be a great man, he may not be a good man – but he is still a man with the power to do something about all of the troubles in our community… Unfortunately, he doesn't realize what comes with the title of Minister for Magic – apart from a vault full of gold. _

_It's a wonder that he's still Minister for Magic. You'd think that people would revolt, or something! But they just let it go… I'm sure that most witches and wizards would rather have a different Minister for Magic… But, they're just so assured that everything will be fine, and that even though Fudge may not be the brightest crayon in the box, he will get them through everything… They don't know how wrong they are._

_As soon as he feels that his career and reputation will be in jeopardy, then he's going to get away from it all as fast as he possible can… After all, why should he put all that matters to him on the line to help the magical community? How he ever become Minister of Magic still baffles me…_

_I wonder if the magical community would be a great deal different with a different Minister. Perhaps they would have believed Dumbledore and Harry, and then perhaps they could have done something – anything! Perhaps Sirius wouldn't even be dead… And, perhaps Voldemort would have already been vanquished… We've wasted so much time since the rebirth of Voldemort – all because of Fudge! _

_He must have been a Slytherin… Cunning and ambitious; always out to help themselves – it fits him perfectly. Why, if he wasn't a Slytherin I would be quite surprised… _

_It's quite odd, really, how he refuses to believe Dumbledore… And also how easily he looks over obvious proof that backs up the fact that Voldemort is risen. It's as if he… As if he were in league with Voldemort. Not like Lucious Malfoy who goes to deatheater meetings and kills muggles and muggleborns, but, more like someone with power that can overlook details that could set back Voldemort. There have been many a time when anyone else would have clearly understood the situation, or when they wouldn't have looked the other way… And yet, he does it all the time… Perhaps it's just a false suspicion, but, who knows, really?_

**~*~**

_October 11th,_

_Well, the potion has begun to sit. Come __midnight__ on Sunday, I'll finally find out what the core of my wand is. I keep remembered my visit to Ollivander's… I just can't figure out why Ollivander wouldn't tell me anything about my wand… It's odd, really. The first wand I got, he told me almost everything about it – it's size, the wood he used to make it, and it's core… It's amazing how he knows what each and every wand is, and all about each of them… And all just by looking at the wand as well…  _

_In a way, I'm sort of glad that he didn't tell me anything about my wand. It makes everything much more interesting, don't you think? I mean, where's the fun in knowing everything by being told? Yes, it's a wonderful way of gathering valuable information, but, there's just something to satisfying about figuring something out yourself. And this entire wand thing is like one big puzzle… And then, once it's solved, not only will I know, but I'll have done it by myself – it's so rewarding!_

_Madam Pomfrey let Harry out of the Hospital Wing today! When I visited him after classes were over, he told me that he was allowed to leave as soon as someone had come. So, we gathered up his things, and headed up to the Common Room. At first, everyone smothered Harry telling him how happy they were to see him and everything. Then, after all of that had died down, it was just Ron, Harry, and I in a little corner._

_We didn't talk about what had happened – it was as if that had been wiped out of our minds for the time being. I told Harry and Ron about my History of Magic "club." They think that it's a good idea – Ron dropped it though, since he wanted to become an Auror. Harry dropped it simply because he found it boring. I've already told a few other people, and, everyone says that tomorrow would be a good day to have the first meeting. All of the Seventh Years are coming to the History of Magic classroom – it's empty, and a classroom would be a good place to do it, so, we may as well make use of it._

_A Seventh Years__ came up to me in the Common Room to ask about it and to check that it was still on for Saturday afternoon. I just hope that it turns out alright… I don't know what I would do if I messed up, or if nobody showed up… Ron and Harry must have noticed, because they kept reassuring me that everything would be fine and that it would be a success – I hope they're right!_

_We chatted for quite a bit before Ginny came up and interrupted us – she said that she wanted to talk to me about something important that couldn't wait. So, Ron and Harry went off to play chess or something, and I went off with Ginny. Of course, Ginny, being Ginny, finds everything of vital importance – she likes a new boy. She's worried that he might not like her back, and that she's afraid that she'll embarrass herself. _

_Ginny can be quite oblivious something – then again, I suppose everybody is when it comes to themselves. All of the boys in Fifth Year are drooling all over Ginny – it's amazing that she doesn't notice. I just told her the same thing that I always tell her – to just think over if she really likes him, and then act on her instincts. I really can't help her much with these things – I've only read these things from books. Besides, no matter what I tell her, Ginny will do whatever she wants. So, I try to give her advice that makes her choose for herself._

_As usual, the conversation shifted from Ginny's latest object of affection to other things, and we started chatting – well, Ginny did; I just sort of listened, and offered a word or two ever so often. I've noticed that it's much better to let someone just go on and on until they ask for your opinion. It works wonderfully with Lavender, Parvati, and Ginny – which is all that I want. I'm not interested in silly gossip about who's seeing who, or, who wore what… _

_So, I just sort of sit there, nodding and smiling. I listen, of course, and act accordingly to what they're seeing. It's really quite easy – I'm quite surprised that they don't seem to notice. Or, perhaps they do – maybe they just don't care. When they've got something to say, they're oblivious to everything around them, so, I find that it's better to let them go on until they're done. If they're interrupted then, well, it doesn't put me in the best situation._

_Ginny talked for about an hour about Georgia and Mark – the latest couple. It's quite trivial, and, not to mention none of her business. I like to stay out of those type of things, but, when there's "big news," she won't care what I say or do – she'll just talk about it. _

_I've never been one of those girlie girls… All into gossip, hair, make-up and boy-crazed. I really don't see what's so wonderful about wearing a lot of make-up. Make-up if meant to enhance your beauty, and make things stand out – not cover your face and make it something new. I only use lip gloss – why bother spending so much time in the mornings anyways? The only thing that I do with my hair is brush it… And now, I sometimes let Lavender get rid of some of the bushiness – but it's not like I'm doing it to impress anyone. Sure, it's nice when people notice, but, it's not like I'm doing it for them._

_The obsession with boys is something that I will never understand. The way that some girls talk about boys makes them sound like gods or something… They're so wonderful, and perfect… But, when the time comes to talk to him – they clam up. I really don't see why – it's just a boy for Merlin's sake! It's just a conversation… It's really quite annoying to watch girls stutter and blush when they're simply trying to say hello to a boy they like… Now, really, what's so difficult about saying hello?_

_Now, when there are hour-long, late-night conversations about certain boys – that's just too much. Yes, you like him; yes, you think he's gorgeous, but, really – do you need to talk about him for THAT much? I'd hate to see some girls after they've actually had a conversation with a certain boy… I mean, they go into such detail about the smallest things… And, if they were to actually so hello… That would take all day!_

_Nevertheless, I put up with it from my roommates and friends – let them have their fun, after all. Just because I don't enjoy it, doesn't mean I have to put a damper on their conversations. And they're completely fine with me sitting there, nodding and smiling. _

_So you see, the system works.__ It's really all you need to coast through life… I, for one, would rather do something worthwhile and actually voice my opinion though. But, not for such trivial things. The gossip sessions are forgotten within days, and there's no point in making a big deal of it. After all, it's not the end of the world if I have to listen to it. _

_I must admit though, those girls can get wonderful listeners when needed… I remember when Ron and I broke up – Lavender stayed up with me all night talking and just comforting me… And ever since Third Year, me and Ginny have been closer… I suppose that it's bound to happen seeing as how she's my best friend's little sister… She really is an amazing friend though. Every time I stay at the Burrow we stay up all night just chatting and everything…_

_It really is worth putting up with the mindless gossip with them for those nice long chats… And same with those comfortable silences. It's friendships like that that really matter. It's the never needing to say anything that counts – not the fact that you can talk and talk. I'm so lucky to have them as friends. And, not to mention that I've gotten to know other people from Sixth Year as well. If you're in the same school and share many classes with people; you're bound to get to know them. _

_It's going to be so difficult to leave all of this next year… When I first came to Hogwarts, I was so excited and surprised at everything around me – that's still there; as Hogwarts always likes to throw something unexpected at you. But, at the beginning, I was nervous about coming and making new friends… Now, I'm nervous about leaving, and losing old friends… This is like a long journey that I never want to end. Hogwarts became my home the moment I sent foot on its grounds. Everyone here is like my family – we spend all of our time together. I know that I'm going to have to leave Hogwarts eventually, but, I just don't know how I'll be able to bear it… I've lived here for 6 years only, and already it's more of a home than my parents… _

_Leaving is going to be such a turning-point! It's necessary to leave, but, Hogwarts is where I belong – I can't really picture myself elsewhere. Perhaps I'll return as a professor if I can – that would be nice… That way, I would never have to leave Hogwarts. Now that's an idea… Then again, I also wouldn't mind a job in the Ministry. I could really make a difference after a while if I got a job there… It would take time to move up and gain that power and respect, but, in the end, I would be able to help benefit the wizarding community…_

_Everything seems to be coming so fast. It seems like just yesterday I was uttering my first incantation and levitating my first feather… Everything seems to have passed by in a blur when I look back on it… And in just a bit over a year, I'll have to leave everything… I'm sure that I'm going to keep in touch – it's not that difficult; what with the Floo Network, Apparation, and owls… It's just not going to be the same anymore though._

_Everyone is going to be so involved in their jobs and new lives… Everyone will make new friends, and slowly, we're all going to drift apart… And I don't want to see that. These people are my family. They've been there throughout all of the important events in my life. And to not have them there after a while… I just don't know if I can make it. _

_Everyone says that I'm strong and independent… And, I am, I suppose. But, after being so dependant on these people = how will I be able to live on my own? I know that I'll be able to manage – I don't have much of a choice – but… Oh, I just wish that I never had to leave this place!_

_At least I've still got time left. I can still enjoy the rest of the time I have left at Hogwarts… I may as well make the best of it. There's no point in sulking about having to leave._

**~*~  
  
**

_October 12th,_

_Well, the History of Magic club was a success! Quite a few Seventh Years came. All of the ones from my class came – apart from the Slytherins that is. Then again, it's not like I expected any Slytherins to come… Even though not all of them are evil – for lack of better word – they all seem to stick together; they don't like to venture into "enemy territory," if you know what I mean._

_After lunch, people started to gather in the Library – we found a corner where we could be seen by other people that wanted to come, but also so that it was secluded enough so that we wouldn't bother, or be bothered. _

_We didn't really do much this time – just sort of went over the topics we've done briefly. And then I answered some questions from previous years and stuff… Nothing too serious. People kept coming at different times, so, there really was no point in actually teaching something substantial. I would have to keep repeating everything. So, we decided that once we had a clear schedule, or at least knew exactly when and where the next meeting would be, that would be when we would actually do something. It's probably going to be next week – over the week I'm probably going to do the same thing with the younger years…_

_All in all, I think that the meeting went quite well. It was really quite fun, actually. And, as usual, there's a jokester in the group. Brad Prepon of Ravenclaw kept cracking jokes about what we were discussing. It was actually quite good that he was. Not only did it make the meeting must more interesting, but, it also made some things easier to remember. I'm sure that a few other people would remember certain jokes, and connect them to certain facts – it's a great way to remember facts and learn things._

_After the meeting, I had quite a bit of time left until evening. I had a few pieces of homework that I could have done to get ahead, but, in all honesty, I just wasn't in the mood. It really was quite a nice day outside, and, there's no point spending it inside a Common Room or Library doing homework. So, I decided to head outside – and, to my fortune, Harry was holding a Quidditch practice! Nobody minds if you sit and watch the practice, so, I did just that. Quite a few people were there as well – which was quite nice._

_Now that the majority of my friends – Harry, Ron, and Ginny – are on the Quidditch team, it gets to be a bit of a bore to watch Quidditch practices and games. I, for one, have never been interested in sports in general. I was so glad when I got accepted into Hogwarts – no more gym classes! Sports and Hermione just do not mix. I know that they can make you healthy, and many people find them fun, but, they're just not my thing – I find them to be quite pointless. _

_And if you add in the element of flight – forget it. I'm scared to death of heights, so, to be so high up on a little broom – no way; forget it! I'd much rather watch it than actually play it. And, since I'm not into sports, and don't fully understand Quidditch; it's not the most interesting way to spend my day. I've read and re-read Harry's copy of Quidditch Through the Ages, and I still have yet to grasp the concept of Quidditch._

_Ah well, it's not like I need to know all about Quidditch to get by on life. It would be quite nice if I could join in everyone's Quidditch conversations though… They happen quite a bit, and, I'm just left there with my own thoughts until the topic takes another change. Perhaps someday I'll understand Quidditch… Chances are, however, that I won't. I don't mind that much though. There are plenty of other people out there that don't always go into conversations about Quidditch. And, besides, it's not like I always have to be with the same people – others do exist. _

_On another topic, I can't wait until tomorrow! I went to check on the potion today, and it's going well Tomorrow at __midnight__, I'll finally know about my wand! I already know what wood it is… But, if I could find out the core as well… I'm still curious as to why Ollivander wouldn't tell me anything. Perhaps I'll go back someday and ask him about it. Maybe then he'll tell me… _

_A strange thing happened today at dinner. Well, more like after dinner – but that's besides the point. After dinner, I was heading back to the Common Room with Ron and Harry when Pansy came up to us. She had a little group of her Slytherin friends with her - as usual. Now, I know that we're not the best of friends or anything; but I did think that our little conversation would have changed something – well, it didn't._

_She came up to us, and used her regular insults – Ron being poor, Harry being scarhead, and me being a mudblood. This was after she fired a curse at us – at our backs; as a coward would. Luckily, it missed us by millimeters. It was her cursing the fact that it missed that caused us to turn and acknowledge her presence. That was when the taunting began. _

_Now, normally, I can deal with this – I've dealt with is since First Year! Her taunts were pretty much the same, but then she spilt something that I had told her… I hadn't told her anything no purpose or anything; because I wasn't sure if I could trust her. But, I couldn't help but let a few things slip – insignificant as they were, they were still things that everyone didn't need to know. Pansy started to say one of them, when I cast a Silencing Charm on her. _

_Before I managed to finish casting the incantation, she shrieked 'Expelliarmus.' I wasn't expecting it, so, my wand easily flew out of my hands – somewhat reluctantly though; it's not like I was completely caught off-guard. Nevertheless, she still got my wand – and that was when something strange happened. The moment that my wand was gripped by Pansy's fingers, she yelped in pain. She lunged on the wand so that she could have it, and then she screamed in pain once more. _

_Now, this was quite odd – never before have I seen something like this happen because of the touch of a wand. Now, Pansy isn't the brightest person, so, she just held onto the wand even tighter before realizing that that was what was causing her pain. As soon as she realized that, she let go of the wand so that she could examine her hands. It was terrible! Her hands were covered in scorch marks; as if burnt – all because of my wand._

_She had this shocked sort of look on her face as she laid eyes on her burnt hands. But that look soon twisted into a look of rage. I could tell that she was about to attack me… I'm not at the top of the class for nothing – the wand had rolled near me, so, I picked it up before running away from the scene. I really did not want to be around to feel Pansy's wrath. _

_I ran all the way to the Common Room; closely followed by Ron and Harry. As soon as we caught our breaths, we sat down until we were calm. I was completely dumbfounded – how, and, more importantly, why, had that happened? Why had my wand scorched Pansy's hands? A million possibilities kept flying through my mind before Ron broke the silence with a 'that was bloody brilliant!' I didn't even bother to chastise him for his use of language – I was too shocked. _

_After I gathered my thoughts so, I noticed that Ron and Harry were looking at me strangely. At first, I couldn't think of why they would, but then I realized that they were just as curious as me about what had just happened with my wand. Harry asked me several times what had happened, but, his voice sounded so distant, that I didn't think it was real. I didn't understand it myself, so, how was I supposed to offer them an explanation?_

_Harry gave up after a while – he must have figured out that I was lost in my thoughts once more. I didn't stay in the Common Room for too long after that… We didn't say anything; we just sort of sat together, lost in our own thoughts. People were starting to come in, and some of them were asking me about my wand… I really wasn't in the mood to try and answer questions that I didn't know the answer to… _

_I'm not really tired at the moment, but, I think that the moment my head hits my pillow, I'll be fast asleep…_

**~*~**

**A/N : **I know, I know, short chapter, long wait. I decided to just post what I had so that you'd have something to read. I'll have the next chapter posted much faster!! =D


	13. Chapter 13

**Underneath it All**

**A/N : **Not too long… But the quality of the chapter makes up for the quantity. Quite a bit of things happen in this one. =)

**DISCLAIMER : All characters and places came from the brilliant mind of JK Rowling. **

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**_Now we begin…_**

_October 13th,_

_Well, I've figured out what the core of my wand is… I'm still in shock; I didn't think that it could be **that… I mean, I already knew that it was the hair of its creator – as the books mentioned – but, ****him to be the creator? I mean, wow… It's just so unexpected… Perhaps I should start at the beginning…**_

_I was really quite worried about going out in the middle of the night to finish up the potion and find out what the core of my wand was, but, I knew that I had to do it. Now, before, every time that I've snuck out, I've been under Harry's Invisibility Cloak. But I couldn't very well borrow it without having to explain everything no could I? Besides, Harry and Ron would most likely want to come along, and, well, I just thought that it was something that I had to do it alone._

_Luckily, if I got caught, I would have had the excuse of being a Prefect and saying that I was simply patrolling the castle. I know that it's wrong to abuse my powers like that, but, if it came down to it, I would have had to – thank goodness that it didn't. _

_I set out 15 minutes to __midnight__ so that I would make it, and do it at the exact moment that the clock struck 12. I don't know whether or not it would have worked otherwise, so, just to be in the safe side, I did it at the exact moment. Now, let me tell you, it was not easy._

_I didn't run into any obstacles on the way to the bathroom, and Myrtle wasn't even there to distract me – which was quite good, actually. But I was a bundle of nerves once I stepped foot into that bathroom. I was shaking like mad; I was so nervous. I couldn't help but wonder if I had done everything right – after all, how would I know if I had done something wrong? And, if I had, what would become of my wand? But, I knew that I had to do it. It had taken quite some time to make this potion, and I wasn't about to throw away all of that work because of some nerves. _

_I sat down in front of the cauldron and watched the potion shimmer – there was a faint mist flowing off the potion and encircling it; while the potion itself simply shimmered an ever so light creamy peach colour – it was quite a lovely colour, actually. As it got closer to __midnight__, the mist started to thicken – only slightly at first, but, soon enough, it had me completely enclosed in it. _

_I knew that it would be midnight soon after that, so, I took my wand, and help it over the concoction, while I held my other hand in front of me so that I could see the time. Thank goodness I had that watch or else I would be completely in the blue, and my potion wouldn't have worked at all… It would have been easier had it been a digital watch, but, I don't really like those much… _

_Nevertheless, I wouldn't let that faze me – I had to clear my mind if I were to do this right. It's something so simple to trop a wand into a potion, but, it had to be at the precise moment; or else who knows what would happen. As the second hand inched closer to the 12, I was starting to get even more nervous. My hand was shaking so much, that I'm surprised that I didn't drop the wand._

_Finally, as the hands of the clock shifted towards the 12, I dropped the wand into the potion – I had made it in time. I was so relieved, that I almost forgot why I was there. _

_It seemed like seconds after I dropped the wand to potion started to fizzle. Bits of the potion shot up and started bubbling – it was like a volcano. Now, I had no idea what to do; I didn't know if this was part of the potion, or if it was something gone completely wrong. All I could do was sit there and watch helplessly until whatever was supposed to happen, happened. _

_The potion kept on like that for half a minute before it stopped – it just, stopped. It was up to its fill momentum, and it stopped. The bubbling and spitting stopped; just like that. The mist that had surrounded me was thicker than ever, and it was swirling around me in a milky white colour. As the potion stopped bubbling, the mist started whirling faster until it looked like a wall surrounding me. _

_The mist then slowed down, and seeped into the cauldron – it passed by me completely, and went into the cauldron. As soon as all of the mist had disappeared, the potion started to glow. The potion was so bright that I had to shield my eyes – perhaps if I hadn't, I would have seen the… Thing, start to surface. Ron's words back in First Year suddenly came back to me, "Are you a witch or not." I always seem to forget…_

_So, I cast a simple charm that would make the glow seem not so bright in my eyes, and watched as the thing drifted up out of the potion. Soon enough, it was hovering a bit above the brew – shining in the dark bathroom. It seemed to be a sceptre – or at least, a miniature version of it. It was a wooden staff with a glass orb on the top of it; on a stand, of a sort. The stand that the orb was resting on was carved with such intricate details – it was gorgeous! In the glass orb, there was a mist swirling around inside of it – as if it was someone's spirit trying to break free._

_Then, the sceptre started to faze a bit – I knew that it was about to disappear. I tried to reach for it, but, it was in vain – as my fingers were about to touch it, it completely disappeared. Then, in place of the scepter, an M started to flash. There were sparks of light shooting out of it in all directions, and the M kept fizzling until it finally disappeared._

_As it disappeared with a pop, the potion in the cauldron vanished with it, and I was left with all but a cauldron to remind me of it all. As I sat there lost in my own thoughts, staring into the cauldron, I noticed a piece of hair fluttering down into the cauldron – a long piece of silvery hair._

_My first guess was Dumbledore – that the core of my wand was Dumbledore's hair. But, something inside the back of my mind kept saying it wasn't. It was the scepter… That scepter reminded me of someone. Someone important – someone whose name was hidden at the back of my mind…_

_So, I took my cauldron and wand, which lay at the bottom of it, and headed back up to the Common Room – perhaps I would have a book that would help me. _

_I came quite close to being caught by Filch… I saw Mrs. Norris' yellow eyes as I turned the corner before she sped off – to tell Filch, obviously. So, I ran as fast as I could away from there and back to the Common Room. _

_It was a strange thing, really. It was as if I didn't have any more control over myself… My legs just walked up to my dormitory, and went to my trunk. Then, I reached down, opened it, and pulled out a book – Greatest Legends. It all happened subconsciously; I didn't even realize that I had done anything until I found myself sitting by my desk with the book open to page 163._

_But my eyes weren't drawn to the writing in the book or to the title – they were drawn to the picture next to it. It was a man; an old man with long silvery hair. He was standing on a ridge, looking away. He looked so calm and at peace just standing there looking out… But I wasn't paying attention to that either. It was something else; something in his hand…_

_He was holding a sceptre – a sceptre that looked exactly like the one that appeared from the potion. I sat staring at that sceptre for a few minutes before I returned back to reality. My eyes drifted to the page next to it to see who that man was. I quickly scanned it before looking at the title – Merlin – Great Legend. _

_His hair, his sceptre, and my potion… They were all linked. They were all connected by one thing – my wand. **My wand… Imagine that… ****My wand was created by Merlin himself, and contained one of his hairs in it… I sat there for quite some time lost in my thoughts before returning to the book – perhaps there would be something useful on the page. **_

_The beginning of it explained about Merlin and his accomplishments in history. I skimmed through the next few pages which were a continuation of that until I came to a section titled Prophecies. Now, I'm not one to believe in Divination – it's a subject that cannot be learned and is quite pointless if you ask me. Either you're a Seer or you aren't; taking the class isn't going to help none. Especially with Professor Trelawny as the teacher… It's all a bunch of guess-work anyways. So, a few people's "prophecies" were correct, that didn't mean that they could actually See._

_I really don't see why that section interested me, but, I decided that I may as well read through it. I knew that I wouldn't be able to get to sleep unless I did. Besides, Merlin was several generations before, so, his prophecies are bound to have been proved right or wrong. _

_A certain passage interested me – "_**_Seven who hold the sceptre shall perish._**_" What exactly did he mean by that? By the "seven who hold the sceptre" part… What sceptre? What seven? I've never heard of anything related to that happening in history… Perhaps it was simply a false prediction, but, something was telling me that it wasn't – perhaps it was something that was to come. But, what did he mean by it? What sceptre… Did he, perhaps, make seven wands. And, perhaps, if they were to go into battle together, they would become one sceptre, and their owners will perish? If that is true, then that means that I am one of them – because I have one of Merlin's wands… But, that can't be it, can it?  _

*****

_October 14th,_

_I am in shock. Complete and utter shock… But most of all, I'm mad – I mean, how could he?! How could he do that to me?! He was supposed to be my **best friend**, and it was **his** idea in the first place! And then, he just decided to… Ugh! I just can't believe that he would do that… And **him**, of all people, **him!**_

_And he didn't think that I would ever find out… He thought that he was so smart and careful with everything… But he was wrong – I did find out. I know that it's good that I found out since now I know the truth, but, I can't help but think that perhaps I would be happier if I never knew… _

_The day started out like any other – I ate breakfast, went to my classes, and then headed to the Common Room to start some homework. It was on my way to the Common Room that I found out… _

_I should have expected it. I mean, I even walked by the Kitchens and the portrait of the bowl of fruit – and I never do that. It was probably a sign, but, of course, I wasn't paying attention then… Then again, it might just be me over-analyzing the situation… _

_It happened when I dropped my books… I was so close to the Common Room too. If only I hadn't stopped to chat with that portrait… Anyways. Where was I? Oh yes. So, I dropped my books and when I went down to pick them up, I felt as if someone was there. I had that feeling like I was being watched… I chose to ignore it and just get my books and get to the Common Room instead._

_Well, moments later, I felt something grab me around the waist, and pull me around the corner. I had no idea what was happening; I was in shock – I had no idea how to react. After my mind finally registered what was happening, I realized that my attacker was back. _

_The last time that I had been confronted by my attacker, I was left in that room by the Kitchens… I really didn't know what to expect this time. Although, what happened was certainly one of the things that I least expected…_

_As soon as we had turned the corner, I felt my attacker pressing against me; as if to pin me down. The wall was blocking my back, and the attacked was in front of me – blocking any other means of escape. And then they kissed me… Not a loving kiss – but more like a forced, lustful kiss… I tried to fight them off, but, I didn't have much luck; I'm not the strongest person._

_For a few minutes, I just stood there trying to resist them… They must have run out of breath, because they stopped for a moment. I decided to use that to my advantage and I pushed them with as much force as I could muster. With the force and the surprise attack on them, it pushed them far enough for me to make a getaway._

_Unfortunately, it didn't work as I had planned. I was almost at the Fat Lady's portrait when I felt something grab my hand and pull be back. I knew that it was my attacker right away, but I didn't know what I could do to fend them off this time. _

_I knew that pushing them away wouldn't do anything; since they would probably be ready for it this time. So, I decided that the next best thing would be to unmask them – not only would I know who it was, but it would shock them that I would do that and I would run as fast as I could to the Common Room._

_Luckily, they were only holding my one hand – in a deathlike grip, but I still had the use of my other. So, without warning, I reached over, and pulled the mask down. My plan was to run, but, I was in too much shock to do it… _

_I just stood there, gaping at him… I was shocked as to why it was him… I mean, he had no reason to do this to me… He was supposed to be my best friend. He was supposed to be there for me to comfort and protect me – not to attack me. There I was, thinking that I had him all figured out; when wham! **This **happens. It's amazing what happens when you least expect it to…_

_Finally, after standing there for a few minutes staring at him for a few moments with my mouth wide open, I managed to ask why. That was what I most wanted to know… My head was filled with questions. But why – I wanted to know why. If I knew why, then perhaps other questions would answer themselves._

_He stared back at me and looked into my eyes for a few minutes before he finally spoke. And you know what he said? He said because he loved me! **Because he loved me!** Honestly, what kind of person does those kinds of things to those that they love? Yes, I love you, so, I'm going to scare you senseless several times and attack you – great plan!_

_I knew that he was about to make and leave, but, I wouldn't let him. It's a good thing that I always carry around my wand with me – I cast a spell to keep him in that spot for several minutes. It wasn't long, but I hoped that it would be long enough. I was not going to leave until my questions were answered._

_We stood there talking – well, more like me yelling and him answering meekly – for quite a long time; the charm had long worn off. Finally, I'd had enough. I just couldn't take it anymore. So, I simply said that I thought that he was my friend and left him standing there while I turned and went into the Common Room._

_I grabbed my fallen books on the way and then I ran up to my dormitory as fast as I could. I could hear him entering the Common Room as I was climbing the stairs – he was shouting my name and asking me to come back to talk. Talk! He wanted to talk! Now! Well, it's too late for that, isn't it Ronald Weasley?_

**~*~**

_October 15th,_

_What a day… Oh what a day it has been. To start off, when I woke up, I found a bouquet of roses on my bedside table along with a note that said 'Sorry.' Honestly, if he thought that flowers and a note were going to make me forgive him then he had another thing coming._

_I just can't believe that I didn't figure out that it was him sooner though. I mean, back when I was attacked by the Kitchens, I found a ginger hair on my robes; I thought that it was Crookshanks', but, how would his hairs have gotten on me if I hadn't held him at all that day? Honestly, I feel so stupid… I'm supposed to be the smartest witch in the class too…_

_They day didn't get back better after that… When I went down to the Common Room, I saw Ron jump up as soon as he saw me come down. He apologized profusely and asked if I had gotten the flowers. Now, I refuse to forgive him because of roses – that doesn't mean that I can't keep them though; after all, the roses didn't do anything wrong. _

_I simply ignored Ron and made my way down to the Great Hall for breakfast with him on my heels. I really don't understand why he's apologizing. He didn't seem to care how it would make me feel when he first started his little plan… He didn't like how I was so happy after he had broken it off with me, and he thought it over and realized that he had made a mistake. Well, I am not about give in this easily. _

_All through breakfast, he kept pestering me – it took all of my willpower to ignore him and curse him into the next century. Everyone else at the Gryffindor table must have felt quite awkward though… I kept using them as excuses to ignore Ron – I would ask someone to pass me something, ask a question; anything to ignore him. _

_Poor Harry though – he's Ron's best friend, but he's also mine… He had no idea what to do. I really hate having rows with Ron; especially because they put Harry into such awkward positions. But this is one row that is going to last a while… It's not that easy for me to forgive Ron after this… _

_And he had the nerve to ask if I would take him back as more than a friend! Now, friendship is something that I can give him over time, but to be his girlfriend again? Well, let's just say that he shouldn't hold his breath. _

_Luckily, I only had to endure Ron for half of my classes – Potions and Care of Magical Creatures. Now, Care of Magical Creatures wasn't that bad since we were observing a Graphorn and to do so, we had to be silent. After that, we had a small quiz on our last class. Unfortunately, Potions didn't go as well… It didn't help that Snape was in a fouler than usual mood, either._

_Snape stormed into the class in a huff and yelled at us to get to work right a way on the Diffluo Potion in partners. He must have noticed that there was something going on between Ron and I because he decided to pair us up… Some of the Slytherins were angry because of the fact that we're friends, but, once they saw how angry I looked; they changed their minds._

_We managed to make the potion without too much trouble – several times we came close to an explosion, but, luckily I read a book about which ingredients are used to counteract which ingredients. Needless to say, I'm quite glad that I read it. _

_We were the first people to finish our potion, and we still had quite a bit of time left before the class was over. So, for the rest of the period, I had to endure Ron's apologies and him begging for forgiveness. Snape, of course, chose to walk around us whenever Ron apologized in this annoying whiny voice – he, being Snape, commented on it and took points off Gryffindor for doing things that didn't concern the lesson._

_And at one point, near the end of the lesson, Ron had the nerve to get up on our table and apologize in front of the entire class… It really was quite embarrassing. The Slytherins didn't bother to hide their laughter, and Snape didn't hesitate to take 50 points from Slytherin. Believe me, I have never been happier to end a Potions lesson ever before. I literally bolted and ran for the door to get out of there and away from Ron._

_I completely skipped lunch because I didn't want to listen to him… I knew that he would figure that out – he's not stupid – and that he would more than likely go to the Library to see if I was there. So, I decided to head over to visit Hagrid. That way, I could still eat something; while at the same time have a nice chat with one of my friends._

_After lunch, I had History of Magic and Arithmancy – none of which Ron had taken. As luck would have it, Harry decided to schedule a Quidditch practice after classes as well. I would have a good hour or so to myself without Ron bothering me. Dinner, however, was another story._

_Though I ate lunch at Hagrid's, it wasn't very filling – and Hogwarts' dinners are simply wonderful. I was not about to pass up dinner because of Ron. Besides, I had a plan. Who said that I had to sit near him? I mean, it's not like it's a crime to sit with someone else… And, it's not my fault if they happen to be at the other end of the table, is it?_

_So, I waited until dinner had started so that I could make sure that Ron was sitting down and eating – I couldn't find him. I was going to keep waiting to see if he would come, but, I decided not to bother – I was hungry, and I could always leave after I'd eaten something. _

_It seems, however, that Ron must have had the same idea as me. I sat down near Lavender and Parvati; and mere minutes later, I found myself sitting next to Ron. I hadn't even gotten a chance to start my dinner, but I really wasn't keen on listening to Ron. _

_I just hoped that perhaps he would be distracted by the food and only once in a while bother me – well, I'll be the first to admit that I was mistaken. I kept moving away from him the entire meal; bit by bit. He wouldn't let that faze him – when I moved, he moved. And then he wouldn't stop apologizing. The entire meal – even while he had food in his mouth – he kept saying that he was sorry. Lavender and Parvati looked positively disgusted during the entire meal, and I nearly lost my appetite. _

_Thankfully, I managed to keep my food down. As soon as I had eaten enough, I jumped up and ran out of the Great Hall. I didn't know where to go – he would surely check the Library, and the Common Room was completely out of the question. And I couldn't go to sleep since I had homework to do as well._

_I would have gone outside or to Hogsmeade had it not been so cold out. The winds out there were quite strong, and it was quite dark out because of the clouds. So, I took my homework and decided to wander around the castle until I found a place that would be suitable to do some homework._

_At least I didn't bump into Ron the entire night… But I was so preoccupied that I couldn't focus on any of my homework. I just packed it away and decided to keep wandering the halls until I had to start my prefect rounds._

_Now, the good thing about prefect rounds is that you get to choose who your patrol with. Normally, I got with Ron; seeing as how we're best friends and both prefects. But tonight, I was in no mood to have to deal with him for several hours; alone. Unfortunately, I got side-tracked and arrived late to the prefect's meeting – meaning that I had to go with either Ron or Draco; Pansy came in much later then me and would get stuck with whoever was left._

_I chose Draco because for one thing, there isn't anymore hate between us; and, also, then I wouldn't have to deal with Ron. Everyone at the meeting looked quite shocked when I said that I would be with Ron – most of all though, was Ron. He stood there and gaped at me. Before we left for our rounds, he begged me to reconsider; he said that he could prove to me that he was truly sorry. Now, it's not something that I'm proud of, but I told him that he could put his apologies you-know-where. But, can you rally blame me?_

_Just last night, I found out what he had done, and for the entire day he's been harassing me to try and get me to forgive him. Anyone would have done the same thing had they been in my position. It didn't stop Ron from gaping at me though – I must admit, he looked a bit sad, and I felt a bit bad for him… But I was just sick of it. I told him that we could talk about it tomorrow if he stopped bothering me. _

_I was about to turn and run to catch up with Draco when I heard his voice behind me. He told Ron to stay away from me – it was quite a shock, actually. He even said it in this threatening voice. Poor Ron looked so surprised… But that didn't stop him for turning and walking over to Pansy; who looked positively disgusted at the prospect of spending the night with Ron during prefect rounds._

_I looked at Draco in astonishment for a moment – no one had ever done that for me before, and for it to be Draco of all people too… I know that we don't have that hate relationship going on anymore, but, still… I managed to mumble thanks before we headed off in the opposite direction that Ron went._

_In the beginning, we walked in silence; leaving each other with our won thoughts. I hate patrolling the castle at night – it's so dark and quiet… I'm quite happy that we have to patrol with someone else. I know that Hogwarts isn't anything to be scared of, but, when you're alone in a dark castle… Well, your imagination tends to get the best of you._

_It's between 10 and 11 that you catch people sneaking out most often… There are a few of the younger students out earlier, but, it's quite rare to catch someone past 11. It's mostly Slytherins sneaking out I've found… Hardly any Hufflepuffs are ever out after hours… The Gryffindors are out quite often, and the Ravenclaws are out, but not as much as the Gryffindors. And it always seems to be the same amount of people; same people even. It's quite interesting, actually._

_Anyways; after we caught a group of Second Years we started to make conversation. That is to say, Draco asked me questions… It started out quite innocent – I'm assuming that he was building up for more… Personal questions – about Ron. I really don't know what made me do it… I mean, I would never have told any of the things that I told Draco tonight to anyone else… I just told him everything – from when Ron asked me to be his girlfriend, to what had just recently happened._

_There's just something about him that made me feel safe enough to tell him everything… I felt like I could trust him with anything. It's really quite strange how he has that effect on me. I have no idea how he does it, but, there's just this aura around him that makes you feel secure and as if you can say anything and know that no one else will find out… Not something that most people would expect from Draco Malfoy…_

_We talked about that among other things as well through the night. At about __11:30__ we bid each other goodnight and head back to our separate Common Rooms. I should have expected it, but, my conversation with Draco was still in my mind. Ron was waiting for me in the Common Room in front of the fire… He didn't apologize, he just sat there, mesmerized by the fire…_

_I didn't know what to do, so, I just decided to try and sneak past him into the girl's dormitory. As soon as I was on those stairs; I would be fine, since boys can't go up it – as Ron found out last year. _

_Unfortunately, I didn't get too far. I swear, he has to have eyes on the back of his head! As I was passing behind him, he said my name in a monotonous voice… It was quite odd since his voice is always filled with emotion… I knew that there was no point in ignoring it since you would have to be deaf to have not heard it. I was hoping that we would just say goodnight or something…_

_He sat there on his armchair, looking in my direction while I squirmed under his gaze. There was something about him that made me feel uncomfortable then. After a few moments of this, I simply bade him good night and went up to my dormitory. He didn't say anything; or, if he did, I didn't hear him._

_I don't like being angry at Ron… I really don't… I mean, one of these days, a row is going to end our friendship. But I can't help it! I mean, I always stand up for what I believe in – I've been raised to do that. And we just have conflicting opinions… I suppose that's why it didn't work out between us. I mean, I can't really think of anything that we have in common; apart from the fact that we can do magic. _

_I'm glad though, that we ended it when we did. If it had lasted longer, then I may have done something that I would regret, and we would only figure out that we weren't right for each other when it was too late… Then again, Hermione Weasley does have a nice ring to it…_

**~*~**

_October 16th,_

_There's a visit to Hogsmeade next Saturday – it was just posted on the Notice Board this evening. I can't wait; it feels like I haven't been there in ages! It'll be quite fun to visit the village again – nice way to spend a Saturday, if you ask me. And, I finished up all of the homework that we've been assigned so far, so, unless something else is assigned that I won't finish; I'll be able to go!_

_Although, the only thing is… I have no one to go with. See, with Hogsmeade, you always go with someone. It's usually couples that go together, but, you can quite often find friends going together. Usually, I go with Harry and Ron; sometimes Ginny. But, if I got with Harry, then Ron is sure to come… And, well, I'm not quite sure up to what point we'll be then. _

_Ginny is most likely going to go with her latest boyfriend – Kenny Clearwater. And I don't want to tag along as a third wheel… I could always go with Lavender and Parvati, but, they're going to go around to robe shops and look at jewellery and make up… Now, all of that is fine and dandy, but, it's just not how I enjoy spending my Saturdays._

_I suppose that I could always find one of my other friends, but, I'm pretty much only acquaintances with them. I only really see them in class, and they have their own groups of friends… I don't want to be rude and intrude on their fun; besides, it would probably feel a bit awkward… _

_If anything, I can always go alone. I could just go to a book shop and read or something… It's not like I have to go with somebody else. I can always sit with someone else at the Three Broomsticks – it can't be that bad to go alone. The Hogsmeade visit is in a while though, so, I can worry about that later. _

_Harry decided to hold a DA meeting today – we practiced dodging spells physically and deflecting them with our wands; rather than with other spells. It's one thing to be able to cast a spell in a classroom, but, it's completely different to be on the run and having to watch your back while casting the same spell… Even the simplest spell becomes complicated because you have so much to worry about._

_I was with Ginny, and when it was my turn to shoot spells at her, I must have put too much energy into my Conflo charm… I hit Ginny, but, her hair… Not only did I hit Ginny, but I also somehow managed to get the wall behind Ginny… It really wasn't a good idea to use that charm… I got rid of the fire quickly enough though – no damage was made. I did get quite a few stares and whispers afterwards though; Ginny said that it was alright though._

_It really is quite odd, I mean, why would that happen? I was so careful with my aim… And how would it hit her AND the wall behind her? It just doesn't make any sense… I mean, I can understand if it was just the wall that erupted into mild flames, but, both the wall and Ginny? And it wasn't exactly mild flames… I wasn't even really paying attention while I was casting the spell; it was mainly for practice to dodge rather than to cast._

_What is with my wand and fire? First, Pansy's hand get burnt when she touched my wand, and now, a simple Conflo charm goes out of control and nearly burns Ginny's hair off and a hole through the wall! I really wish I knew the cause of it all…_

_Perhaps it's not something that's wrong with my wand, but something that's wrong with me? It is, after all, the person that controls the wand – and a wand can't have a mind of its own. I wonder then, if maybe my wand did what I subconsciously wanted… I mean, I could understand how I would want to do the spell well, so, maybe that was it. But then the incident with Pansy… That was something that I couldn't have had any control over. I wasn't anywhere near the wand!_

_Oh, I'm so confused… I wish that I knew more about this wand… Other than the wood and core, that it… Could it be that combination that caused it to do that? Or just to wood or the core? I really ought to visit Ollivander again to see if I can get any answers from him. But I don't want to risk getting intro trouble once more… I can wait until Christmas Break… If anything, perhaps there will be someone in Hogsmeade that could be of help…_

**~*~**

_October 17th,_

**-After Dinner-**

_Somebody was taken… They disappeared. They just left the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom and never made it to their next class… They never showed up… Julia Kipling; Hufflepuff Third Year. They're conducting a search of the castle at the moment… The professors told everyone to go back to their Common Rooms and to not leave under any circumstances; the prefects are to keep everything in order._

_The younger students are so frightened… None of the professors told anyone what happened… But somehow, everybody knows – it's always like that. Everyone's so scared… They don't know what to think. We have no idea what happened. For all we know, she can at this moment be trapped somewhere miles away being tortured by deatheaters… I just hope that she's alright…_

_I can't remember any Julia though. I don't tend to get to know many of the students her age – they're not so young that they need help, and they're not so old that I can really relate to them… But I do think that I can at least point out people if I were asked to… But the name Julia Kipling just doesn't ring any bells in my mind… I've asked around about her. _

_Apparently, Julia's a little on the shy side – she has a close circle of friends that she tends to stick with. She's an average student in everything but History of Magic – the one subject that she excels in. She's fairly short with big blue eyes and curly dirty blond hair… Everyone says that she's always kind to everyone. _

_Why is it that these kinds of things happen to the best of people? I mean, Harry has such a burden on his shoulders… And through it all he's been nothing but a great guy. And now this Julia girl… Everyone says that she's nice to everybody; no matter what. _

_I don't know why, but, I have this feeling that Julia isn't with deatheaters… I keep thinking that she's in the castle, waiting to be found. Whenever I close my eyes for long enough, I keep seeing this girl lying on a stone hard floor somewhere in the castle… The place looks familiar, and the girl seems to fit the description of Julia. _

_I would tell the professors about it, but, they would probably just push it aside as nothing; besides, it doesn't really help them since they're already conducting a search of the castle._

_Ron looks positively dreadful… He looks like he's seen a ghost; pardon my use of a muggle saying. He's as white as a sheet, and he keeps mumbling something about knowing something and about how he should have said something… It's really quite odd; I'm getting worried… _

_Under regular circumstances, I would comfort him and talk to him about it… And, though I could do that now, it just doesn't seem right… Besides, when I tried to ask him about it, he acted as if I wasn't there… It's as if he's oblivious to the fact that there are people around him…_

_Oh, Professor McGonagall is calling for everyone's attention… She looks quite grave… I do hope that they at least found her…_

**-Late Night-**

_Well, the good news is that they did find Julia. Snape found her in one of the dungeons… I'm just glad that they found her – at least she's at Hogwarts. _

_Unfortunately, they don't know what's wrong with her. When they found her, she was out cold – literally. Not only was she unconscious, but she was freezing… Her lips were turning blue, and her skin was so pale… Her body was so limp in Snape's arms. I saw them carrying her when I was going around to patrol the castle._

_They were bringing her into the Hospital Wing then so that Madam Pomfrey could have a look at her. Before I went back to the Common Room, I stopped by the Hospital Wing to see if I could see Julia… I have no idea why, but, I feel drawn to her somehow… It's as if there's something pushing me to her._

_Madam Pomfrey wouldn't let me in though – she said that she was too busy dealing with her to have any visitors; it would be a while until they were allowed in. I did manage to sneak a peek though from behind Madam Pomfrey._

_She was lying on one of the Hospitals beds… She looked so frail and pale… If I hadn't known any better, I would have thought that she was dead. Before Madam Pomfrey shooed me away though, I noticed something about Julia… It seemed like she had two holes in her neck… Two bite marks, if you will. Perhaps it was just my imagination playing tricks on me, but… _

_I've read quite a few books on vampires; and we studied them in Defense Against the Dark Arts a while back… I tried to remember everything I could about their victims and how they look like after they've been bitten; and what happens after that. I can't remember that much about it since we only lightly touched on the subject… I always get it confused with what happens in muggle books as well…_

_Tomorrow I'll go to the Library and read up a bit on it… I just want to check to see if my assumption is right or wrong. I just hope that it isn't… I can't remember the consequences of a vampire bite – in muggle films that person becomes a vampire as well, but, I'm not sure if that's what actually happens._

_It's getting quite late… I really should get some sleep tonight. Hopefully tomorrow is going to be a nice, calm, relaxing day where nothing out of the ordinary happens – for Hogwarts, that is._

**~*~**

_October 18th,_

**-Free Period-**

_A strange thing happened to day – Potions was cancelled. Potions is NEVER cancelled. Snape will never ever cancel Potions – ever. And then, today, all Potions classes were cancelled… A class of Fifth Years that had Potions first thing in the morning went down and then came back up several minutes later looking confused…_

_Of course, the news traveled around quite fast. Nobody believed it at first though. Several people even went down to the dungeons to see if it was true or if it was just some joke that the Fifth Years decided to play on everyone._

_But, true to their word, the class had been cancelled… So, several classes were left with a free period – my class included. Nobody really knew what to do with themselves… It's extremely rare to have a class cancelled; that only happens if there is no choice, and we always get an explanation beforehand. _

_But when the Fifth Years came back into the Great Hall, the professors at the Head Table looked a bit surprised to find out that Potions had been cancelled. Snape was nowhere to be seen… The Fifth Years just said that they found the door to the dungeon locked and that Snape walked by them and told them that it was cancelled. _

_It really is quite odd… I'm trying to figure out why that the class could have been cancelled after I did my homework. Each of my reasons seemed more unlikely than the last. It's just that it's so rare for a class to be cancelled – especially Potions; and without an explanation? Even the other professors didn't know!_

_So, obviously, it was Snape's idea to cancel the whole day's classes… But what would have made him do so? Could it be that Voldemort summoned him? If that's the case, then I see why he would need to cancel the entire day's classes… But Voldemort knows that Snape teaches at Hogwarts, so, he wouldn't very well take him out of there for a meeting because then people would become suspicious…_

_Strange things are starting to happen at Hogwarts; and I get the feeling that they're only going to get stranger… _

**-Evening-**

_The whole cancellation of Potions has been forgotten already… Everyone that missed the class is happy that they didn't have to endure a period with Snape… But, nobody else finds it odd at all… During dinner, everyone just stuffed their mouths with food until no more food could fit inside them. _

_Even during Harry's Quidditch practice nobody talked about it… Obviously the team didn't since they had to focus on practicing – they have their first game tomorrow afternoon. Quite a lot of people from Gryffindor came out to watch the practice… That is to say, socialize with others. _

_I sat with Lavender and Parvati – they were going on about one of the Ravenclaw prefects; Josh Richardson. I caught bits and pieces of their conversation about him. Apparently he's very attractive and not dorky as they would have expected. I haven't really spoken him too often – Lavender and Parvati are convinced that I should go out with him. Honestly, they never give up._

_I barely know him, and already they're planning on what I'm going to wear when we go to Hogsmeade together! I really don't see the point in dressing up for Hogsmeade… I mean, you wear your cloak over yourself anyways to keep you warm… Unless of course, you'd rather freeze. _

_Anyways, like I've said before, all you have to do is nod, add in a comment here and there, and you're fine. I would have much rather talking about Snape and try and figure all of it out, but, they wouldn't care at all. They dropped Potions, so, they don't care what happens unless it concerns them._

_After Quidditch practice everyone decided that a party was in order. It was, after all, the night before a Quidditch game… It seems to be tradition – in Gryffindor at least – to hold a party the night before a Quidditch game; and if the game is won, then that night as well. _

_Seems rather silly to have parties like that, but, no one else seems to care. Any excuse to have a party is good enough for them. There was some butterbeer and junk food brought in – no doubt some people went to the Kitchens to get something. _

_The party is still going on downstairs. I'm getting a headache from all of that noise… I decided to just go to the dormitory in hopes that it would be quieter up here… Though it's quieter, I can still hear everybody downstairs. I'm getting quite tired anyways, so, I may as well just go to sleep…_

**~*~**

**A/N : **Graphorn - The Graphorn is found in mountainous European regions. Large and greyish purple with a humped back, the Graphorn has 2 very long sharp horns, walks on large, four-thumbed feet, and has an extremely aggressive nature. Graphorn horn is used in many potions, and their hide is even tougher than a dragon's and repels most spells. [Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them]

Diffluo - _Latin._ Meaning – to dissolve

Conflo - _Latin. _Meaning – flame

**_Look Forward to… _**_(Teasers) _Hogsmeade… Quidditch… Dance… Sorry… Potions… (Hope that keeps you interested! =D)


	14. Chapter 14

**Underneath it All**

**A/N : **I tried to make this chapter a bit longer to make up for the other shorter ones. Sorry if it's not too long! =D Enjoy it anyways though, lolz.

**DISCLAIMER : All characters and places came from the brilliant mind of JK Rowling. **

Reviews –

_Thanks…_

**Amandaliini - **Oh, wow, long review, thanks! Lolz. Have a cookie. ; ) Don't worry, Ron's suffering ends here – I wouldn't be THAT cruel, lolz. And the surprises jut keep on coming! =D That's life. =P 

**hp/charmed obsesed - **That I am, lolz. Thanks – here's your update. =)

**Ashes Kittyhawk - **Thanks! =D

**noseyMCnosey **- Thanks! =D I love to add the twists – what's the fun in reading a predictable story after all? 

**_Now we begin…_**

_October 19th,_

_I must say, I did have quite a lovely day today. From beginning to end everything seemed to be going just right. It's about time that I had a good day… It seems as if recently everything's been going wrong… Everything has been so hectic and there have been so many surprises… Surprises are nice, but, not when they're one after that other… But that's life… It's never been in a nice pattern that you can follow; you can never expect what's going to happen next. One day, you're all happy and smiling; feeling as if you're on top of the world – and the next day, you're sad and angry; feeling as if the world has turned its back on you._

_Nothing in life is ever predictable… If it was, then there would be no fun in living. It's the unpredictability and the many surprises that make life interesting… Would you really want to keep living if you knew what was going to happen next? I mean, you would be able to prepare for it, get over it, and then wait until the next thing happened… _

_If everything made complete logical sense then there would be no imagination… We wouldn't have anywhere to escape from the harsh world of reality… Because if we believed everything was set in stone and made perfect sense, then you wouldn't stop to think 'what if…' It's those 'what ifs' that make life so wonderful…_

_Now, you're welcome to believe that our world is a nice, logical, safe place… You'll be wrong, but, that hasn't stopped other people from believing that… After all, it's what you believe that makes your life what it is. If you honestly believe that everyone out there is kind and cares about you, then you will end up getting hurt… That still may not stop you from believing it, but, it's true._

_And for our world being safe? Hah! That's all I have to say… Just look around yourself and you'll see just how unsafe the world really is. Julia, for example. If that's qualified as safe, then I really wouldn't like to know what danger is. And then there's also the small fact of Voldemort… All of the suffering he has caused to people all over can hardly qualify as safe…_

_And since life is so unpredictable, you can't get ready for anything… You have no way of knowing what to expect in life, or what to prepare for. Even the most carefully made plans will fall through because of a little thing called life… You can have every second of your day planned so meticulously that there are no flaws in it whatsoever… But then life will throw something your way, and it will all be destroyed…_

_I've long ago stopped planning things. There's no point in planning ahead because how are you to know if you'll even be around when tomorrow comes? What's the point in spending so much time planning things out, when, in reality, they will more than likely fall through?_

_Of course, I still study and do my homework – that's just common sense to do. But plan for the future? Not a chance! I admit, I do have general ideas of things that I would like to do. But they're not completely exact as to what I want. I mean, if they happen, that's great. If not, that's fine as well._

_Because life is like that. It'll ruin your plans that you though were so perfect… And then in the end, you'll realize that it was for the better. Because all of those ruined plans and ideas were destroyed for a reason… Obviously you weren't meant to go through with them… And since we humans aren't smart enough to figure that out; life has to do it for us._

_And once in a while, life gives us a break. Once in a while, life will give us a day where everything is wonderful… Once in a while, we'll be able to have a good day without having to worry about life's problems… And I believe that you should take advantage of those days – milk them for all they're worth! Because you never know when the next one will come along; **if** another comes along. _

_Do you know that feeling that you get when you wake up and just **know** that it's going to be one of those days? I had that feeling when I woke up this morning… I couldn't wait to get up and out of bed… Whenever I get that feeling, I want to hurry up and get on with the day; I don't want to miss any of it. I've been given this day as a break, so I may as well use it; rather than waste it sleeping._

_I woke up quite early as well… Early enough for the sunrise! It's getting colder outside in the mornings now because it's nearing winter… But, I'm a witch and I can use magic – a basic heating charm can easily solve the cold. So I got a blanket, cast the heating charm, and headed outside to watch the sunrise._

_It's happened before, but, today, it seemed stronger… Whenever I feel the rays of the sun on me, I feel so energetic – as if I can do anything and that nothing can stop me… It's the same effect with raindrops falling on me. Today though, the rays from the sunrise seemed to affect me even more… I felt so rejuvenated… I just knew that something good would happen today… I knew that it was going to be a good day._

_As soon as the sun had fully risen, I headed back up to the castle to grab a bite to eat for breakfast before going on with my day. The Great Hall was deserted, and there wasn't any food on the tables – perhaps it was a bit early to go there for breakfast. So I headed for the Kitchens; the house-elves would surely be up preparing breakfast by now._

_Now, the thing about eating in the Kitchens is that you can eat whatever you want… It really is quite nice. In the Great Hall, the meal is served – you don't have much to say on the menu. I'm not complaining about the food that we're served – because it is delicious; but I do like to choose my meals myself._

_So, whenever I go to the Kitchens, I ask for whatever my stomach desires. The house-elves are more than happy to make it for me… And it's nice to know that they're at least paid for their work. I heard from Dobby that the house-elves always find Galleons hidden under their pillows every week. Whenever I visit the Kitchens, Dobby always seems to be there waiting for me and we have chats._

_He was more than happy to make me some fluffy pancakes… I haven't had those in a while it seems… Normally we have bacon and eggs or something healthy and filling. Pancakes aren't that filling, but, they can taste simply heavenly if made just right… _

_I didn't get to talk to Dobby, or any house-elves for that matter. They were quite busy preparing breakfast – bacon and eggs. As soon as I finished I decided to leave them to work… I get the feeling that I was in their way and that they would rather that I wasn't there while they worked._

_By then, several students were already in the Great Hall. I stopped by there and chatted with a few people, but, I didn't stay too long. I headed back up to __Gryffindor__Tower__ shortly after… I wasn't in any rush, so, I took the long way up. After all, it would be quite some time before everybody else was up…_

_Everyone was awake sooner than I expected – I suppose it was because there was the Quidditch game against Ravenclaw after lunch. It was quite good for me, because that way I wouldn't have to wander around alone. There's nothing wrong with being left alone with my thoughts, but, I just felt like being surrounded by people today._

_By the time I got to the Gryffindor Common Room, almost everyone had gone back downstairs. I decided to stay up there because it was more than likely that everyone would be coming up soon after they ate breakfast. Sure enough, people started trickling back into the Common Room. Soon enough, nearly all of the Gryffindors were in there trying to find ways to keep themselves busy until the Quidditch match._

_I played quite a few games of Exploding Snap and just chatted with several people before everyone started to head down for lunch. Down in the Great Hall, you could feel the excitement that a Quidditch math always creates… There was a buzz of enthusiasm that you could feel the moment that you entered the Great Hall. _

_It wasn't a big game or anything, but it was still a game. The biggest energy can be found during the Slytherin/Gryffindor matches… Those are the most interesting matches to watch. I'm not saying that the other games aren't fun, but, the Gryffindor/Slytherin ones are just the ones with the most excitement._

_Then again, it doesn't really matter to me who's playing… I'm sure that Quidditch is a fun game, and I'm always happy when Gryffindor wins, but, I will never understand what's so wonderful about this sport; along with all other sports, as a matter of fact. But all of the excitement is catching… And I become quite excited whenever there's a Quidditch game because of that._

_Everyone was crowding around the Quidditch team wishing them good luck and telling them how good they were… I didn't get a chance to even speak to any of them the entire time… I did manage to wish Harry good luck when he was passing by me with the rest of the team to get ready… I knew that he heard me because he turned and smiled at me._

_Quidditch is one of the few things that keeps Harry happy nowadays… Whenever he talks about Quidditch, you can see the same old Harry again… His eyes gleam with a passion and joy that he used to have all of the time… But now, even a flicker of that is rare… It's so sad how someone who was once quite happy can be so unhappy now… _

_At least he has Quidditch though. If he didn't, then I would never be able to see **Harry** anymore… The Harry that I met back in First Year on the Hogwarts Express… The Harry that helped to save me from that troll that year… The Harry that has always made me laugh and feel happy… Every time I see a glimmer of that Harry I feel so happy. I hate having to see him like this… And lately, he's been getting worse…_

_It's been getting to be even rarer to see that Harry back… He's become quite withdrawn… I haven't had a true conversation like the ones we used to have all the time in a while… He's pulling away from everyone; pushing us all away from him… It's not like one day it started all dramatically; it happened bit by bit over time… I wish that there was something that I could do to help him, but, there isn't much I can do when he won't let me…_

_I've been trying to understand Quidditch a bit better so that I can talk to Harry and see his eyes light up as he talks about it… I haven't had much luck with it; there's only so much that you can learn from a book. At least when there's a Quidditch practice or game then I can comment on what I saw. Which was also part of the reason that I was so happy about the game._

_Everyone started to go down to the Quidditch Pitch shortly after the two teams left. The best seats always got filled up fast, so, you had to be quick if you wanted to have a good one. I found Lavender and Parvati near the front of the stands, so, I pushed through the crowd to get to them. _

_For most of the game they chatted; unless there was something big happening or if Gryffindor scored. Half the time when that happened, I don't think that they even realized what had happened – they just started to cheer madly when everyone else did. It didn't really matter what they were doing; I was concentrating on the game._

_It was quite a close game… Ravenclaw had more points before the Snitch was caught; but only by about 20 points. The game lasted for quite some time as well; the Ravenclaw team put up a good fight. After the game had ended, everyone, as usual, rushed out onto the Quidditch pitch to congratulate Gryffindor or to comfort Ravenclaw. _

_Once all of that had died down, all of the Gryffindors headed up to the Common Room to party well into the night - as is tradition whenever an occasion comes up. I didn't much feel like partying at the moment then, so, I decided to walk around Hogwarts for a bit; let the party start, and then return to the Common Room. _

_I did notice that a certain redheaded Keeper was missing from the festivities… He seemed to slip out from the crowds while everyone – apart from me – was heading to the Common Room. I always like to go to the Room of Requirement to relax before going back to have fun and be loud well into the night. It helps me gather up my energy before I let loose – yes, I, Hermione Granger know how to let loose; I'm not completely ruled by books and schoolwork. _

_So, I slipped away from the huge group of Gryffindors and took a stroll to the Room of Requirement. The strange thing about Hogwarts is that when you're just sort of wandering without thinking where you're going, you always end up where you want to be – which is how it always is when I go to the Room of Requirement. It's as if the castle can pick up on where you need to be, and it takes you there… It seemed especially strong this time… I just kept getting the feeling that someone was calling to me from there; that the room was calling to me, if you will._

_I was just about to open the door to the Room of Requirement when I felt this strong urge to go in there… It was quite strange; I've never felt that before… It was as if I needed to go in there as soon as possible… And my feet just moved on their own accord from there. _

_Whenever I go to the Room of Requirement, I don't stop to think about something certain that I need. I think that for it to give you what you truly want, you should just think normally – pretend it's not there. And it always seems to give me what I want when I do that… _

_Anyways. So, as I opened the door to the Room or Requirement, I was greeted by the scent of lavender drifting around the room; which was covered in glowing candles… There were rose petals all over the floor, and there was soft music playing in the background – it looked like something from a romance novel! _

_And in the middle of the room, holding a single rose, stood none other than Draco Malfoy. Draco Malfoy! **Draco Malfoy!! Of all the people to be standing there – Draco Malfoy. I stood by the door in momentary shock as my eyes fell upon Draco's face, which was looking at me with a look in his eyes that I couldn't recognize. The room was fairly dark with only the light of the candles – so at first, I thought that it must be someone else. But when I saw the white-blonde hair… **_

_I had no idea how to react to all of it… It was defiantly not something that I had expected. I suppose Draco must have sensed this, because he then called my name – it was in such a soft, sweet voice; as if just saying my name was something special. Me, being pathetic as I am, stood there and nodded slightly as he said my name._

_Before I knew it, the gap between us had become much smaller, and Draco had extended his hand to hand me the rose. I took it while staring into his eyes… Those are eyes that you could get lost in… They're such a cloudy grey, and they always look as if they're hiding something from the world; and as if they've lived through so much. But at that moment, there was something else in his eyes… Something that I can't quite put my finger on…_

_We stood there looking at each other for a few moments before I noticed that Draco's lips had started moving. I had been so mesmerized by his eyes, that I hadn't noticed that I had begun to speak to me… Luckily, I snapped back just in time to hear him ask me to go to Hogsmeade with him. I wish that I hadn't tuned out during his little speech… I wish I knew what he had said… But that didn't stop me from slowly nodding a yes to him – I was still lost in his eyes._

_None of us were sure of what we should do then; should we hug, kiss, shake hands, just stand there even? Finally, I managed to lean in towards him and wrap my arms around him in a hug – soon enough, I felt his arms wrap around me to return the hug. We stood there hugging for a few moments before I heard the door open from behind me._

_And then I heard a familiar voice yelling 'Hermione! What the bloody hell are you doing?! Get OFF her Malfoy!' The next moments passed by in a whir… Draco let go of me, and slightly pushed me to the side so that he could get a clear view of Ron; who had walked over to us and was beet red, glaring at Draco. Draco, on the other hand, looked calm and composed._

_Before I knew it, I saw Ron's fist fly out from his side and hit the side of Draco's face. Before Draco had a chance to defend himself or even fight back, Ron threw another punch. And on it went, with Ron giving Draco just enough time to realize what had happened before he hit him again. As Draco was about to throw a punch, however, I had snapped back to reality and yelled Ron's name out loud._

_How dare he?! Who did he think he was – punching out someone just because they were hugging me?! He had no right whatsoever to do that! Just because he hates Malfoy, doesn't mean that he can go around punching him! _

_That stopped Draco from punching Ron – it was as if time had frozen; the two boys were breathing heavily, while Draco still had his arm our, ready to throw a punch. It was as if the two boys had just realized that I was there when I screamed out Ron's name. And then, all hell broke loose… I started screaming and yelling at Ron for what he had just done, and for what he had done to me before. I just stood there yelling, slowly advancing on him; while he slowly backed away from me; growing red in the face._

_Now, Ron knew not to cross my path when I was angry, so he remained silent until I was out of breath. Of course, he had to use that one pathetic word that I despise the most after that entire spiel – 'sorry.' He just **had** to say that he was sorry, didn't he?!_

_Honestly, I loathe that word! Because it's just that – a word. It's nothing more than a mere word that people use to get out of their messes. It's a meaningless word that's thrown around whenever there is a need for it. And the sad thing is that people actually accept it… All you have to do is say 'I'm sorry' with some fake expression, and you're off the hook. It's so stupid because **it's just a word**! _

_Ron knew that he had blown it right then and there… He knew as soon as he finished saying that word that he had made a mistake… I was just so angry! After all that he had done - he had the nerve to utter that 5 letter word… I didn't trust myself to speak… Ron was expecting me to yell; I could tell. But I surprised him when I simply glared at him before leaving the Room of Requirement._

_What happened there after I left, I've no idea… All I know, is that when Ron came back into the Common Room late into the night, he looked angry, sad, and confused, and it looked as if he had been beaten up pretty bad… Everyone was crowding around him as he fed them all some pathetic story – so, here I am, upstairs in the dormitory; I had to get away from it all._

**~*~**

_October 20th,_

_Well, I did it… I don't know what made me do it; but, I did… I'm wondering whether or not I should have done it, but, it's too late now to change the past… Perhaps it's for the best, I mean, was it really worth holding a grudge? Yes, I was angry, but, come now, did it honestly have to go on for much longer?_

_When I woke up this morning, I was wondering what I would do with my day… I didn't quite want to chat with Ron, and that would require his avoidance; which might prove to be a problem. But I didn't want to have to waste my entire day avoiding him and checking to see if he was there – it wasn't how I wanted to spend my day off. _

_I didn't have to worry about that until lunchtime though… Not many people were up for breakfast, and after that, I worked on some homework up until lunchtime – I may as well use my time productively rather than sitting there doing nothing, or indulging in mindless chatter. Once lunchtime came, however, I was faced with a minor dilemma – should I go to the Great Hall for lunch, or stay here and eat at the Kitchens afterwards? _

_I decided to go to the Great Hall since I'm pretty sure that the house-elves wouldn't like me going by too often; and I didn't feel like changing my regular day because of **that. But then another question arose; where to sit? There were a variety of people that I could sit with, but, I suppose that what I was really asking myself was if I was going to sit with Harry and Ron or not. **_

_Well, I chose to face the situation head first – I would go and sit with them. After all, I wasn't angry with Harry, and I hadn't sat with him in a while. Besides, it's not like there weren't other people there. _

_Before I could even enter the Great Hall, however, Ron stopped me. He just sort of reached for my arm and stopped me before I got a chance to walk through to doors. I really didn't know what to expect, so, I just sort of stood there. I really didn't want to stay angry at Ron, but, I didn't want to give in so easily… If I did, then he would think that he could do anything and get away with it. But, like I said, I didn't say anything; if he wanted to talk, he could talk – I wouldn't stop him._

_For a few moments, Ron sort of stood there, as if waiting to say something. Now, normally, I would have gladly waited patiently for him – but then, I was hungry, and not very happy with him in the first place. As I made to leave, Ron must have found his voice; because he pulled me back and said 'wait.' So, I turned and looked at him, waiting for him to continue._

_He started to talk about First Year – about when we first me; and about how much I bothered him in the beginning. Then, he went on to say that over time, those feelings grew to respect and friendship. And several years later, he realized that he wanted to be more than just friends. Finally, he went on to say how happy he was when he had asked me out and when I had said yes; and how much it had hurt him to have to break it off and how much he regretted it._

_By then, people were already coming out of the Great Hall – almost everyone had finished eating lunch; and Ron still wasn't finished. But everyone else didn't matter; I don't think that he noticed that anyone else was there… I only noticed because I heard whispers from around and saw that several people had stopped to see what was happening. _

_Ron went on to explain all about the attacks and how he had been so confused and hadn't known what to do. And then he finally spoke about yesterday; and about how much more confused he became when he saw me hugging Draco; and how angry and jealous he was that it was Draco being hugged and not him. Finally, he looked me in the eye, held the gaze for a few minutes, and said one, simple word – sorry. _

_Except, this time, it had meaning. It wasn't just him saying that he was sorry to get off the hook… He was truly sorry for what he had done, and he just wanted my forgiveness… I don't know how I knew that this was for real; perhaps it was his eyes… I had been watching them the entire time, and I knew that each and every word he had uttered was the truth. _

_For a few moments, I was looking into those eyes, thinking about everything that he had just said, and wondering what I should do. I could tell that Ron was about to burst; I had, after all, been standing there for quite some time just looking at him. He called my name softly, and the moment he did, my eyes brimmed with tears… Perhaps it was after all that I had just heard that made me start to cry… I'm not one to cry; I don't like it. _

_Before Ron could say anything, I leaned towards him, and wrapped my arms around him; pulling him closer to me in a hug. It took him a few moments for him to respond, because he returned the hug a bit later. Before I broke apart the hug, I whispered in his ear that it was OK – that I forgave him… As soon as we had parted, I saw a smile light up his face – never before had I seen such a big smile on his face._

_I never knew that I, Hermione Granger, bookworm and know-it-all, could cause someone so much confusion and love… I never thought that I could be capable of making someone smile so hard… I've never been the prettiest girl – all I have are my smarts; and most boys don't like that. So, I wasn't popular with them… And the girls didn't interest me because they only wanted to talk about boys and clothes. _

_But when I came to Hogwarts, I met Harry and Ron – and all of that changed. Now, honestly, how could I have stayed angry with Ron for much longer? And now, I feel so much lighter… It's as if a huge burden has been lifted off of my chest… It just goes to show you what a little forgiveness can do to you._

**~*~**

_October 21st,_

_For once in a long, long time, I've had a normal day. There were no surprises; no arguments; no twists – nothing! It was really quite strange, actually. I mean, I can't remember the last time that I had a day with nothing odd happening… _

_I went to all of my classes – they were all theoretical today; so no explosions or anything like that. And then, after school, I did homework and read a book before heading down to dinner – which went by without any odd happenings. _

_Before dinner, though, Dumbledore stood up to make an announcement – something he rarely does. It seems that there's going to be a Halloween Ball this year on Halloween. Halloween falls on a Thursday, so the ball won't be going to far into the night Dumbledore said – but there was a twinkle in his eyes and a smile on his lips as he said it; perhaps classes will be cancelled for Friday._

_The entire Great Hall was in a buzz after Dumbledore announced the Halloween Ball. All through dinner, everyone was talking about the ball – that is to say, all of the girls. The boys just talked about Quidditch as they usually do. Lavender and Parvati were positively giddy when Dumbledore announced it – after all, any excuse to dress up and pretty yourself is a good excuse._

_After dinner, everyone was finishing up any homework that they hadn't yet done that was due for the next day. Luckily, I wasn't the only one that had finished my homework – Ginny, for one, had finished before. So, we chatted for a bit about the dance and Hogsmeade before we headed up to bed._

_Ginny asked me if I was going with anyone to Hogsmeade… I didn't want to lie to her, but, I didn't think that she would be overly excited if I told her that I was going with Draco; she would think that I had gone insane! Luckily, it was at that moment that Seamus' cards exploded on him during his game of Exploding Snap – it got us off track, and the topic wasn't brought up again._

_Well, I'd better get to bed soon… I'm not very tired, but, I don't want to be struggling to stay awake tomorrow during class._

**~*~**

**A/N: **_Look forward to… _Hogsmeade… date… Halloween… dance… Draco… Library… owl… _That's all I'm saying for now. =D _

Don't forget to leave me a review – they're always appreciated. =D 


	15. Chapter 15

**Underneath it All**

**A/N :** Just a short interlude. =)****

**DISCLAIMER** : All characters and places are brought to you by JK Rowling – not me. 

**Reviews –**

_Thank-you…_

**Slytherin****-Gryffindor gal - **Thanks! =D I know, I know, it _is_, but, like you said, it's fanfiction! Lolz.

**Amandaliina**** - **Glad you liked the chapter, and your friends must be very smart, lolz. ; D

**Alix**** - **I'm glad you liked it. =)

**Remorseful Passion - **Nice username, and I'm glad that you liked it – thanks for reviewing! =)

**tkdcutie**** - **Thanks – Hogsmeade is next chapter. =)

**noseyMCnosey**** - **Aw, thanks! I'm glad you liked it so much. =D

**_Now_**_ we begin... _

_October 22nd,_

_I've been wondering what my life is going to be like after Hogwarts lately. Like, what will I do with my life? What kind of job will I get? Will I keep in touch? And I can't help worrying about what's going to happen to me… The only thing that I know, is that I'm not going to leave the wizarding world. It's become so much a part of my life, that I wouldn't be able to live without it. But, at the same time, I don't want to leave the muggle world behind me forever… I do have my family there, and that was part of my life up until the age of 11… I suppose that I could always find myself a place to live in the muggle world where there are wizards around…_

_But it's not where I'm going to live or what kind of job I'm going to have that makes me think about the future. What really makes me think is marriage… Will I even get married? I want to have a career first; I didn't go to Hogwarts for nothing, and I'm just not the type of person to stay at home as a homemaker. But will I find that special someone? Will I get married, have children, and grow old with that person? _

_I think "in love" is just a made-up fantasy to give people dreams. "In love" as we call it, is an infatuation. Love, TRUE LOVE, is putting up with a person day after day and learning not to be bothered by the little things that annoy you. Love is staying with a person because you committed to doing so forever. Love is realizing that you care about the other person more than you care about yourself. Love is commitment.  
  
Do I still think that being "in love" is a fantasy? Yes and no. I think that there is indeed such a feeling as "in love" which usually consists of strong emotional, romantic and sexual attraction. And while I believe that these feelings are important to have, I do not think that this is all it takes. I still think that honest, true love is the constant commitment and desire to see the relationship work. I'm sure that many days of marriage will not be especially fun, and I'm sure that there will be days where we both don't really like each other. But, I think that those will be the days that prove that we truly love each other - by whether or not we are willing to work on our relationship still.  
  
I don't understand why the need for romantic love plays such an important role in our lives, I don't know why it affects us so much. Perhaps, in a way, that's what so wonderful about it all: the mystery of love. If we could figure it out, it wouldn't be nearly as exciting to experience. And maybe trying to define love in words and put it in practical terms destroys the very essence of what makes it so magical.  
  
But, even though I think that feelings are a vulnerable, yet indispensable part of love, I still agree that you need to have a direction to follow, an idea of what you are looking for.  
  
What I want in my future groom has remained virtually the same the past several years. I want a guy who is real and admits when they're just as lost about things as I am - he doesn't have to admit this to everyone, he just has to be honest with me. I need a guy who's wise, tough - both physically and mentally - and understanding. A halfway decent looking guy would be nice too. But... that's not overly important.  
  
_

_Basically, this is what I still want, but I've thought about several more things I hope to find: I want a guy who will be 100% committed to the relationship and making it work, even when things aren't going wonderful. I want a guy who is trustworthy, honest, open-minded and real. I want a guy who can balance work and play and a guy who keeps his promises. I want a guy who respects me and values what I have to say and think. I want a guy who brings out the best in me and I in him. I want a guy who makes me happy. Like I said in my first essay, I don't wish for these things as most girls do. I'm not looking for someone perfect, just PERFECT FOR ME.  
  
I still believe that society often pushes us into marriage and the thinking that marriage and love are the end to all ails. I do not think that you have to be married to be happy. I do think, however, that I personally would like to be married someday. I don't want to be married or in love so much for the sweet little things like cards and candy, nor do I think that cards and candy are the things which would make me love someone. I WON'T love a person because of what they do **for** me, I'll love a person for who they are! _

_And I'm not going to go off and marry someone just because they're rich or have a high status in society… Because honestly, I would not be happy rich. The best things in life are the things that you have to earn yourself; that's what makes you cherish them so much. And to just get married or be born rich… That's not something that I would very much like._

_I just want to find someone that makes me feel special… Someone who will stand up for themselves in the relationship… Most of all, I want to love them not for who they are; but for who I am with them… That's what I want the most – someone who will complete me and make me feel alive…   
  
But still, I am interested in finding that someone who is worthy enough to earn my respect, encouragement, and commitment: Someone who I can love and cherish for as long as we both shall live. And in turn, I'm interested in finding that someone who deems me worthy enough to receive the same from him._

_Lavender and Parvati were chatting about the perfect husband during dinner today, and I couldn't help thinking how sad it was what they wanted to find in a husband… He had to be rich, with a high status, attractive, and, if possible, a nice guy – not to mention a good shag. Honestly, do they think that that's all that marriage is? They're wonderful people to have around most of the time, but, that's just sad if that's all they want in a marriage… _

_I really don't know if I can ever picture myself getting married or having children… Perhaps I haven't met 'the one' yet, but, I'd like to think that I would get married to someone from my past… I would already know so much about them… I know that that sounds horribly cliché, but, I always that that it would be so sweet to end up with your childhood crush, or a friend from your childhood… Because you never know…_

**~*~**

_October 23rd,_

_Today in Runes we learned something quite interesting… A while back when I was in the __Forbidden__Forest__ with Eva, I found that book and letter – well, in Runes, we learned a few of the runes that I found on that piece of parchment. _

_The Runes that we learned about today were a particularly old set of the Cottingley Fairies. The fairies used Runes quite often as their way of communication when they weren't speaking fairy to fairy. Anyways. I recognized some of their Runes with the ones from that letter. I have the feeling that it's not only one type of writing that's been used in that letter… If I wanted to keep something secret, I would probably more than one type of writing._

_That class really did help with the translation though – I got a couple of sentences; there's still quite a bit left to translate… I stand by my guess of it being connected with Voldemort – I'm guessing that it also has something to do with the Order of the __Phoenix__ as well… _

_I have no idea how long it'll take me to finish translating this piece of parchment… And I know that I still have quite a bit left to translate, but, I'm just so proud of myself for even getting those couple of sentences translated. It's really quite difficult; especially since it's in more than one form of writing… There are Runes, letters, shapes, pictures, and I think that there may be some hieroglyphics in there… _

_It's not really the translating of the parchment that I'm most interested in… Yes, I want to translate it, but, what I really want to know is what that piece of parchment was far… What was so secretive about it, that it had to be written in such secret? It was obviously something very important…_

_The only problem with translating all of it, is that I don't really have that much time anymore… The further I get into the school year, the less and less time I'll have to do anything other than schoolwork… The professors have been adding a bit more homework each time… It's not like they one day give you a whole bunch of homework; it's gradually added on until you have that whole bunch of homework assigned daily. _

_That's why I really need to translate this as soon as I can… I will not neglect my homework because of that; my schoolwork is important to me, and I will not push it aside. I've worked so hard all of my life to gain all of this knowledge and to do well in school… Yes, translating that letter is intriguing, but, I know that if I have to choose between the two – school will win; no questions asked._

**~*~**

_October 24th,_

_I've made a decision… Recently, we've been learning about human transfiguration – changing an arm, an ear, any body part basically. We just lightly touched upon the topic of transfiguring oneself into an animal at well – otherwise known as being an animagi. And I've been thinking – wouldn't it be useful to have an animagi in the Order of the __Phoenix__?_

_I've already decided that I'm going to join the Order of the __Phoenix__ as soon as I'm of age; and the more that I have to offer – the better. Any disguise could help benefit the Order to gather information or to get into places where we shouldn't be. _

_I have no idea when Voldemort will be defeated – the sooner the better. But once he's gone, will that be it? Will we all just go back to regular, happy lives? I find it hard to believe that a new evil won't rise after Voldemort's defeat… If there's one thing I've learned in the wizarding world, it's that it's impossible for it to be normal and happy… There always has to be some kind of problem going on._

_Becoming an animagus could really help out side with information, and even if it's not necessary in the war against Voldemort, it could still prove of some use in the future – after all, you never know what you'll be faced with. Not the mention that it would be quite interesting to be able to turn into an animal…_

_I would, of course, have to do this illegally. There would be no point in doing this if the Ministry of Magic knew about it and I registered – the deatheaters could easily get their hands on this information and my cover would be blown. Also, we don't even know if we can trust the Ministry, so… _

_I really don't know why I've decided to do this – the punishments for not registering could be quite serious, but, I think that defeating Voldemort and facing future evils is a tad more important than worrying about an illegal act against the Ministry of Magic._

_With that in mind, after all of my classes were over, I headed straight for the Library to do some research on this. I checked as many books as I could, but, none of them told me how to go about becoming an animagus – I only got more detailed explanations of what they are and what I already knew about them. _

_Obviously the useful books would be in the Restricted Section – the only problem was to get a note… Then again, I could always sneak into the Library, but, I would be sure to get caught, and using Harry's cloak is out of the question – he and Ron will want to become animagi as well. Then again, the whole thing might be a bit better if I wasn't doing it alone, and Merlin knows that it would be useful if they were animagi… Well, I'll have to talk to them about it tomorrow after classes then._

_Until then, all I can do is wait… _

_I wonder what being an animagus is like… Will it hurt to transform? I've seen Professor McGonagall transform on several occasions, but, I really don't know if it hurt her or not – perhaps she's used to it, but then again, she's not one to show emotion… _

_But what I really want to know is how you do it… It's obviously not something very simple, or else everyone would be an animagus, and the Ministry wouldn't be keeping such close tabs on the existing ones. I do hope that it's nothing too difficult that I can't do… Of course, I'll try my best and give it my all until I can give no more… But, it would be quite a shame to not be able to become an animagus after so much work, wouldn't it?_

_If Sirius was alive, I would have asked him about all of this… I can't very well ask Professor McGonagall about becoming an unregistered animagus – it makes no difference whether or not it's for the Order… I don't know anyone else that I could ask that's an animagus apart from Rita Skeeter – and I am **not** going to ask her about it; the next day, there will be articles all over the Daily Prophet about it…_

_I'm rather curious about how the animal that you transform into is chosen… Like, do you get to choose, or is it already chosen for you? If we have to choose, then I have no idea what animal I'd like to become… Nothing that flies, thanks – I hate flying. I really have no idea what I want to transform into… I can't wait though; it's all so exciting!_

**~*~**

_October 25th,_

_Tomorrow I'm going to Hogsmeade with Draco Malfoy… I never thought that I would say that – ever. If you had told me that I would be going to Hogsmeade with Draco – willingly and happily, then I would have immediately called you crazy and checked you into St. Mungo's. But, really; I don't think **anybody **would have guessed that we would be going to Hogsmeade together, being friends; much less tolerating each other's company!_

_This year has changed me so much… Last year, and in years before, it was always me against Draco… We competed for grades and being top of the class, and we also couldn't stand each other – what with his "Mudbloods are inferior" theory back then… And now, I haven't heard the word 'mudblood' all year! It just goes to show you what life can do to you…_

_I have no idea how, but, somehow, Lavender and Parvati learned that I was going to Hogsmeade; with Draco. So, after dinner, they bombarded me as soon as I entered the Common Room. I'm just glad that I had already finished my homework… They gave me an itinerary for my weekend!_

_So, today, they kept chattering about Draco and how fit he is… After an hour so of that, they went on to say how lucky I was… Which was followed by squealing about what I should wear, say, and do… The rest of the night, they planned out my outfit – which would be hidden under my cloak because of the cold, so, it really didn't matter what I wear; they said it did… _

_After they chose my outfit and make-up, it was well into the night… They didn't seem to mind that I was tired and that it was late, since they went into a whole new spiel… They planned out several scenarios and what I would say in each of them – they actually made me practice all of this. One of them would pretend to be Draco, and would say something, leaving me to answer. _

_You have no idea how funny it is to see Lavender or Parvati putting on a deep voice, and pretending to be a guy – Draco Malfoy, no less. It took all of my willpower to not burst into laughter every time they said something in their 'Draco voice.' _

_They even told me how to react if he, say, put his arm around me, or if he tried to hold my hand… They even told me what to do if he leaned in to kiss me – honestly, the was that they're treating it makes it seem like it's some big date – not just a simply visit to Hogsmeade. _

_It was actually quite a fun evening though. We had a great time making up the silliest scenarios that could happen; and then thinking up what to do to them. This was, of course, after they were positive that I was completely ready for anything that could happen to me in Hogsmeade with Draco. _

_They were all so serious the whole time – except for before we went to sleep when we were just being silly. It was just so much fun and such a funny night… I wonder why neither of them are going to Hogsmeade with anyone but themselves tomorrow… They wouldn't have much of a problem finding someone… I didn't ask them though; they might have been offended…_

**~*~**

**A/N : **I know it was short, but, what do you expect from an interlude? =)

The next chapter is going to be quite long – it's going to finish off all of October. I have no idea how long it will take me to write, because quite a lot happens in it. So, I hope you don't mind if this chapter takes me longer to post than the rest – it will be worth it. =) 

**_Teasers: _**Hogsmeade… Draco… Dance… Halloween… Tears… Library… Girl-time… Runes project… 


	16. Chapter 16

**Underneath it All  
****A/N :** Yes, it's late – really late. I know, I know… I've had a lot going on in my life lately, and I didn't have all that much time to sit down and write. And when I did, I just couldn't – I couldn't find the right words to write this story. So, I'm sorry that it took me this long to go about posting this chapter – I really am. And I'm not promising that I'll be updating regularly anymore… But the length of chapters will be varying greatly, and when I update will be completely random – just so y'all know.  
  
**DISCLAIMER** : All characters and places are brought to you by JK Rowling - not me.  
  
**__**

**_Now we begin…_**

_October 26th,_

_I honestly have no idea what I expected to happen when I went to Hogsmeade with Draco… Parvati and Lavender were really quite excited when they saw me go off with him in one of the carriages. Quite frankly, it was a bit embarrassing to have them standing there giggling and looking at us while I was trying to ignore them. Draco was smirking the whole carriage ride while I was trying to stop blushing._

_Apart from the carriage ride, the visit to Hogsmeade was quite interesting. I've read about Hogsmeade, and I've visited pretty well all of the shops back when I was younger. But when I went with Draco, everything seemed to be different… It was as if I were looking at the village through different eyes – it was rather nice, actually. _

_We walked around the village for a while, simply looking at window and enjoying each other's company. We didn't say anything for the longest time, and it was starting to get awkward. I'm not the blushing type, but, I found myself blushing even more than I usually do during that Hogsmeade trip… I honestly don't know why. I mean, it's not like I have any feeling for Draco… He's tormented me for the longest time, and we're just so different, it seems… But then again, when I think aobut recently, I can't help but wonder what I really do feel for him…_

_It was starting to get quite chilly around lunchtime, so we headed into a small restaurant for lunch. I didn't even know that it existed. I suppose it's because it looks quite expensive and very prim and proper – hardly something I could afford. I was a bit nervous when we first walked in. And quite frankly, I felt like a bit of a slob compared to everyone else. When I'd left __Gryffindor__Tower__ this morning, I thought I looked alright, but, once I saw everyone else in the restaurant, I didn't feel all that attractive. Although, it did help that Draco wasn't ogling any of the girls that kept looking our way. It made me feel quite special._

_We had a small lunch for which Draco paid – though I insisted that I pay for some of it. I think that women should pay for their own meals when going out with men… The men shouldn't have to always pay for the meal – each should pay for their own meal. However, Draco wouldn't have it, and like a perfect gentleman, he paid for it all himself. It was rather sweet of him to do that, but, I like to do things for myself – and that includes paying for my own meals. I let it go, however – there didn't seem to be any point in arguing about it._

_After lunch, we browsed around a few shops – it was much more comfortable after lunch. We started talking about random things. Every time I talk to Draco, I feel like I'm learning something new… He always says something that gets me thinking, and then before I get the chance to register it – let alone start thinking about it, he says something else that's even more interesting. I rather like being able to talk to someone like that. Whenever I talk to Ron or Harry it's about Quidditch, schoolwork, or Voldemort – never anything that's truly interesting to me. Don't get me wrong, I'm against Voldemort and want to do well in school, but, I'd rather talk about something I believe in… And when I talk to Parvati, Lavender, Ginny, or any other girls, it seems to only be about gossip or make up – things I don't particularly care about._

_But that's life. You don't always do things that you like to do. You do them because you have to get along with other people if you want to survive. Life isn't supposed to be fair, and it requires sacrifices if you want it to be a happy life over all._

_We got back to the castle quite late, and Draco insisted on walking me up to __Gryffindor__Tower__. I was rather uncomfortable walking with him up there. I don't know what I'd have done should Harry or Ron have seen him walking with me… For one thing, he was with me – and they still think that I hate him like they do. For another, he now knows where __Gryffindor__Tower__ is. Granted, he doesn't know the password, but, it's not that difficult to find out what it is. Needless to say, I was glad when we didn't run into anybody._

_We said goodnight and then I went into __Gryffindor__Tower__. I didn't bother to stop in the Common Room – I was quite tired from all of the walking we did in Hogsmeade. I simply went right up to the dormitory. I took a nice long bubble bath, and thought about my feelings on Draco. I still don't know how I feel about him, but, at least I'm much more relaxed now and I'm getting there. I suspect Lavender and Parvati will be coming up soon to question me about my day… Hopefully they won't do it for too long. Though, knowing them, they'll ask for every tiny detail._

****

_October 27th,_

_Lavender and Parvati have been bothering me all day about yesterday. It was bad enough that last night they asked me so many questions about my day that I felt like screaming. I thought that that would be it and they would forget about it. Because of that, I didn't even tell them to stop talking so I could sleep. I figured that if they got it all off their chests, they would leave me alone afterwards. However, I wasn't that lucky._

_The whole morning and afternoon they stayed by my side and kept asking me questions about what he did, and what I did. I was getting quite annoyed with it all, and was quite pleased when they remembered they still had a few assignments after dinner. I'm surprised that everyone doesn't know that I went to Hogsmeade with Draco by now. I was sure that it would spread like wildfire. Surprisingly enough, nobody saw us in Hogsmeade – we stayed in a different part of it – and Lavender and Parvati haven't told anybody._

_I've finished all of my homework and I'm rather bored at the moment – it seems like there isn't much going on around here. I'd go down to the Common Room and talk with Harry and Ron, but, everyone's finishing up homework assignments, so, there's no one to talk to. I suppose that I can always go about translating that piece of parchment before I decide to turn in… May as well do something productive with my life._

****

_October 28th,_

_I'm not particularly fond of Slytherins at the moment. I was paired with one for a project in Ancient Runes. We've been given a book to translate over the course of the month, and I was paired up with Blaise Zabini. He's really quite a character – a piece of work, one might say. _

_He wasn't interested at all in doing the assignment in the class time we got to begin the work. Instead, he was more interested in trying to look down my shirt and rub up against me. It's rather odd, considering Slytherins are prejudiced against Gryffindors – particularly muggleborns. However, he didn't seem to care. As long as it's a living, breathing, female, he'll try and get close to them._

_It's rather had to translate a book when he's moving closer to me and I can feel his breath down my neck while he tries to look down my shirt while pretending to read the book. I buttoned up my shirt all the way and even put on my robe, but, that didn't stop him. I've always seen things like that happening to girls like Lavender, Parvati, Pansy, and the likes. But, I never though it would happen to me. It's not like I'm all that attractive… I look decent, and I, personally, don't think that I'm ugly – then again, I don't really believe in ugliness. I think that everyone is beautiful. But by society's standard, I'm not exactly drop dead gorgeous._

_And it's no secret that I'm not exactly like a girl from Witch Weekly. I hardly have any curves, and I'm still waiting to change like everyone seems to be changing once they get back from their summer vacations. But to have Blaise do that to me… It makes me feel so violated and dirty – even though I've done nothing wrong. The fact that he kept smirking whenever I blushed makes it even worse. It's as if he's doing it solely to make me feel uncomfortable._

_I'm used to teasing and being called names – I can deal with that. It hurts to be called names, but, I've grown up with the sound of taunting voices in my ear, that I can block it out. Particularly when it's always the same insults from the same people. But this is a new form of insult… One I'm not used to. If this is what Blaise is going to be like the entire month, then I'm not going to be having a good month. We need to get together after classes quite often, and work together during our Ancient Runes classes translating and learning different translations. If he keeps doing that, then I won't be able to concentrate._

_I want to tell him to stop, or to slap him, or just do something, but, I've never seen anyone do anything like that, and I wouldn't know what to do. And I don't want anyone to think I'm a prude or something… I know that I shouldn't care what other people think of me, but, it's hard. I've always been the one that's been left out and shunned. Here at Hogwarts, I've finally found a few people that respect me and that tolerate my existence rather than pushing me away. I don't want to throw that all away and have to be all alone for the last two years I'm here. I just wish I knew what to do. _

****

_October 29th,_

_I had a rather boring day today… The highlight of my day was talking with Luna Lovegood. She's an odd one, that girl. I'm not saying that there's anything wrong with her, but, she's quite strange at time… Everyone calls her Loony Lovegood, and I can certainly see why. I've known her since last year, and she still never ceases to amaze me. She doesn't care at all what other people think of her, and simply does whatever she feels like doing in the moment. You can't help but admire someone that's so confident in themselves that they'll do anything anywhere – no matter what. I really have respect for her because of that…_

_Then there's also the fact that some of the things she says aren't all that odd once you think about them for a moment. When you first hear them, they sound like random ramblings that make no sense and you immediately push them away. However, I was talking to her during lunch, and we got to talking about labels and labeling people. She has a rather nice attitude towards it._

_Of course, we got off topic quite often because she would randomly say something completely irrelevant. But for the most part, we talked about the same things… She really gave me quite a bit to think about for the rest of the day._

_I, personally, believe that labels are wrong and should be scrapped completely. They make people believe that they're just one thing, and concentrate on that one aspect of themselves and forget about the other qualities they have. Labels drive people into separate groups, and make them prejudiced to people in other groups. I just think that life would be better for everyone if people weren't labeled._

_Luna, however, thinks that to some extent, labels are actually quite good. She says that as long as they're not negative labels, they can make people feel positive about themselves. I agree with her, in sense, because it's true – if you're reminded of something you're good at, then you're going to feel good about yourself and work hard in that. However, most labels aren't positive and thinking about labels like that isn't good for you. _

_It's a rather interesting topic to discuss because of the fact that there are so many different aspects that you have to put into consideration when you're thinking about your opinion on it… it was quite nice to talk to someone about something that I really enjoy talking about, and something that can actually prove to be an interesting conversation._

****

_October 30th,_

_Everyone's so excited today. I just got up from the Common Room and it's quite late. A bunch of us were simply sitting around talking quite late into the night. Tomorrow's Halloween. That marks several important things… For one thing, it's the night that Voldemort was, in a sense, vanquished – though for only 11 years. However, that also marks the anniversary of the death of Harry's parents… Which makes it quite a sad holiday for Harry. In fact, he went upstairs early. There's a ball tomorrow, and I think that he wants to get rid of his sad thoughts before the ball so he can at least try to have fun. _

_However, apart from that, Halloween is a wonderful holiday for people in both the muggle and wizarding world. When I was younger, I would go around door to door for sweets – it's muggle tradition to dress up as something else and go around for sweets. It's rather fun, and a good few memories were made when I was younger. _

_When I entered the wizarding world, Halloween is simply an excuse to spend time with friends, feast, and, well, party. Now, I enjoy spending time with my friends with food and whatnot as much as the next person, but, Halloween – as many holidays – is beginning to lose its true meaning._

_Halloween is supposed to be a time to mourn over the loved ones that you've lost. It's the night where the barrier between the living and the dead is lifted, and when you feel the presence of everyone you've ever lost filling you – comforting you. It's hardly a time to stuff your face with sweets and food… Seems rather disrespectful if you ask me. But that's life for you. _

****

_October 31st,_

_I had such a wonderful night… It was definitely one of the best Halloweens I have ever had… Although, if you had told me that I would be saying this at the beginning of the evening, I would have pronounced you positively insane. Fate sure has an interesting way of making things some to be… Who would have thought that from a terrible day and horrible evening, something so wonderful could happen at the end? Perhaps I should start at the beginning…_

_I hadn't planned to go to the Halloween Ball at all tonight – everyone of my friends was going with someone else, and no matter what they said, I knew that I would be excluded since they would want to be with their dates.  However, none of my friends would have that – they made me go, and they told me all about the wonderful time that I would end up having, and how I would be thanking them for convincing me to go._

_That was hardly the case. The entire night, I stood by the refreshments drinking pumpkin juice and snacking on a few treats while they danced the night away, laughing and having a jolly old time. I got to watch them have fun. Not once did they even bother to come see if I was alright, or to see if I was having fun. I'll bet they didn't even notice when I slipped out. I'd simply had enough of watching it all, so, I left. _

_I didn't know where I should go, so, I decided to seek refuge in one of my favourite places – the Library – until I could think of something else to do with the rest of my night. I couldn't very well return to the Great Hall for the ball – I wasn't in the mood to stand there and watch everything. I could have asked someone to dance, but, I'm old fashioned like that. Though I believe that women should have the same rights as men and be equals, I'm still old fashioned at heart._

_Surprisingly enough, I ended up having a wonderful time in the Library – shame it didn't last all that long. I was looking through the tomes of books in the Library, trying to choose one that I knew that I could get lost in when I heard footsteps coming into the Library. I wasn't sure what to believe. It could have been anybody. I wasn't out past curfew, and I wasn't doing anything against the rules, so I didn't worry about that all too much. But I was wondering why someone else was in the Library as well._

_I found out soon enough. I started to hear soft music playing on the other side of the Library. I tried to ignore it for a while, thinking that it was simply a couple deciding to continue their fun outside of the Great Hall, but, my curiosity got the better of me, and I abandoned my search for a book to investigate. Wouldn't you believe it, as soon as I got to that part of the Library, I saw a rose floating in the air. I wasn't sure what it could possibly do, but, I reached out for it anyways – I was curious, for Merlin's sake._

_Before my fingers even grazed the petals of the rose, I got the feeling that I was being watched. Turning around slowly, I was surprised to see a familiar platinum blond-haired Slytherin standing there, watching me. I didn't know what to say – though words didn't seem necessary at that moment. In moments, he was standing right up in front of me, and his arms found their way around me, and we started to dance to the music. The song seemed to end too soon, and I knew that it was getting late. Before I could say anything, however, Draco leaned down and kissed me right on the lips, before whispering 'Good night,' and turning, leaving me standing there, taking the music with him._

_I stood there, dumbstruck, for the longest time. By the time I finally registered what had happened, I found myself in front of the Portrait Hole to enter the Common Room. I quickly went up to my dormitory, and I'm planning on being in bed, sound asleep, by the time my roommates come back from the ball. _

_I must say, the night didn't turn out as badly as I'd expected it too._

****


End file.
